A Most Unusual Form of Revenge
by Aardwulf
Summary: Myotismon has returned, and he has a *special* brand of torture lined up for the Digi-Destined... (Special thanks to 7 of 11 for this one. :) NOW COMPLETE. Huzza!
1. The Tsunonrimon Saga, Part I by 7 of 11

Since their initiation into the ways of being the Digi-Destined, plenty of bad stuff had happened to Tai and his friends. However, the problem they were facing now was most definitely one of the worst.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Joe whimpered as he cowered behind a rock. "We killed you! Twice! You should be really, *really* dead!"

Myotismon only laughed in response. "Foolish Digi-Destined! Did you think you could get rid of me that easily? True evil never dies!"

"Well, maybe we can convince you to take a long vacation! C'mon, guys, it's time to Digivolve!"

Agumon and the others leapt forward, preparing to do battle with their most powerful enemy, but Myotismon - having learned a thing or two during his numerous battles with the Digi-Destined - decided that this time he would strike before the smaller digimon evolved, rather than stand around with his arms crossed during their utterly predictable transformation scene.

"Grisly Wing!" he bellowed, flinging his arms wide. A veritable cloud of bats surged forth from his cloak, swarming over the eight children and their digital companions. 

The flurry of ebon wings covered them completely, and soon the darkness was all that Tai knew.

_______________________________________________________

When he awoke, he wasn't sure what to expect - that he'd be chained to a wall, perhaps, or that he might be suspended over a bottomless pit or at the very least locked in a cage. To be honest, he wasn't expecting to wake up at all. 

He most certainly wasn't expecting to feel warm and reasonably comfortable.

Tai sat upright with a start, his eyes darting around frantically. Matt, Sora and the other kids were all present and starting to come around, but their digimon were nowhere to be seen. Searching himself, however, Tai discovered that he still had his Digivice, Tag and Crest with him.

Something was very wrong.

The room appeared to be made out of drab grey stone, with an equally drab grey stone floor; there did not seem to be any doors or windows, and the room was lit only by a few torches.

"Where are we?" Sora asked groggily, rubbing her head.

"That's what I'd like to know," Tai told her, standing up.

Matt, too, climbed to his feet - a bit unsteadily, granted - and began casting about the room. "What'd that big jerk do with our digimon?" he muttered.

"They are not dead, if that's what you're wondering," a chillingly familiar voice intoned. A huge screen slowly lowered itself from the ceiling, a screen on which Myotismon's ghastly visage appeared.

"Myotismon!" Tai shouted, clenching his fists.

"You have a firm grasp of the obvious, my boy." Myotismon smirked. "No doubt you're wondering why I've brought you here instead of simply destroying you."

"I'll ask the questions around here! Why have you brought us here instead of simply destroying us?" Tai yelled. A blank look crossed his face as the proverbial lightbulb went on inside his head and he realised what he'd just said.

Izzy stepped forward. "Perhaps you'd just better tell us what you're planning to do to us so we can get on with it and go about defeating you," he suggested to the image on the screen before him.

"And why would I do that?" Myotismon boomed.

"Well, because you're a bad guy and that's generally what bad guys do." Izzy stated the fact with the air of one explaining a very simple concept to an equally simple person.

"Oh...well, in that case..." The vampire-like digimon tried to regain his composure. "I have decided that since you have caused me no end of trouble during my attempts to take over the Digiworld and Earth, a quick, simple death in battle is too good for you. Therefore, I have captured you in order to subject you to unimaginable torture."

"Torture?" cried Joe. "I, I'm allergic to torture!"

"How unfortunate for you. This torture will be very...special...for you, Digi-Destined, are very special enemies. DemiDevimon!" he bellowed, and the spherical, bat-winged creature flapped into view.

"You roared, boss?" he wheezed, grinning dementedly.

"Go fetch my...torture tools," Myotismon smiled.

"Right away, boss!" DemiDevimon fluttered away, cackling to himself in anticipation of the horror to come.

Matt stepped forward, narrowing his eyes at the screen. "Look, before you start in on us, could you at least tell us what happened to our digimon?"

"Very well. Your companions are alive and located elsewhere in my castle. However, don't think that they will escape your fate." Myotismon bared his vampiric fangs in a sadistic grin as his henchmon returned, clutching something square and flat in one of his claws. "Ah, excellent!" The powerful digimon took the object and held it up, inspecting it briefly.

"It...it looks like - " Tai stammered.

"A computer disk!" Izzy finished.

"Brilliant deduction, children." Myotismon inserted the disk into a drive located somewhere off-screen and slowly typed a few commands into a keyboard. Izzy noted that his typing style was atrocious.

"In a few minutes," their captor told them, when he'd finished his keyboard-pecking, "you will be subjected to the most horrible, despicable form of torture known to 'mon...a torture so insidious that it is seldom called upon, even to punish the most heinous of criminals."

The children were wide-eyed in horror. "You don't mean..." Sora breathed.

"Yes!" Myotismon roared triumphantly. "You will be forced to...READ FANFICS!"

Blank stares met his announcement. 

"Oh. Well, um, I was thinking of something like being drawn and quartered, but you know, this sounds much much worse!" Sora told him, trying to look appropriately horrified.

"Oh, you have no idea," the vampire hissed. Turning, he gestured to his servant. "DemiDevimon! Push the Button!"

"Yessir!" the lowly digimon replied, and poked a large, ominous-looking red button with one claw.

When he did so, havoc broke loose in the room where the kids were held captive. From out of nowhere, a blinking light appeared, and a klaxon began blaring.

"What's going on?!" Kari shouted, covering her ears.

Tai noticed a door slide open nearby, and flung an arm at it. "Everybody inside!" he ordered the others, never considering, as usual, that what lay beyond might be far worse than the problem they currently faced.

Apparently the other children didn't give it much thought either, for they all bolted for the doorway, finding themselves plunged into blackness as it slid shut behind them...

_______________________________________________________

(And now, a musical interlude.)

In the not-too-distant future, on the far-off Digiworld

A baddie named Myotismon hunted a group of boys and girls

They stood in the way of his conquest of Earth

So he decided to make them regret their birth

He lured them all into a clever trap

And with his flunkey, DemiDevimon, he started his attack

(DemiD: "That doesn't rhyme!" Myotis: "Silence!")

Myotis: "I'll send them horrid fanfics that feature them as the stars!"

(DemiD: "La la la!")

"And by the time I'm through with them they'll have some lovely mental scars!"

(La la la!)

Now keep in mind the kids can't control when the stories begin or end

(La la la!)

So if all else fails, they'll just go nuts and learn to make amends...

DIGI-ROLL CALL!

Taichi! ("What the?!")

Yamato! ("Not the hair!")

Sora! ("Get me down!")

Koushiro! ("Prodigious!")

Mimi! ("Look, a door!")

Takeru! ("This is fun!")

Hikari! ("Help me, Obi-Wan!")

Jyoooooou! ("I feel ill.")

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts

(Kids: "La la la!")

Then repeat to yourself, "It's just an anime, and I should really just relax!"

For Digimon Science Theatre 3000! 

(twannngg!)

_(The kids are inside a large, spacious theatre. There is just enough light for them to find seats, and they arrange themselves as follows, from left to right: Izzy, Mimi, Joe, Tai, Sora, Matt, TK, and Kari. The screen is currently dark.)_

Tai: So. Fanfic, huh? How bad can this be?

Matt: I have a bad feeling about this.

_(The screen suddenly lights up, and words begin scrolling down.)_

Joe: Well, here we go, guys. It's been nice knowing you.

**DigiMon—The Tsunonrimon Saga—Part One: Jake Sunate and the Crest of Nobility**

**Chapter One**

****Matt: Insert "Phantom Menace" Joke Here.

**Wind howled through the forest,**

All: _(make howling noises)_

**uprooting trees that were not strong enough to bear its force, and bending those that could. Rain pelted the ground turning the dirt into soggy mud. Lightning occasionally flashed in the sky, illuminating several large mountains in the distance.**

****Tai: It was a dark and stormy night...

**At the foot of one of these mountains, a cave mouth yawned open.**

****TK: _(yawns. Soon Matt follows suit, as does everyone else.)_

Izzy: Contagious Yawn Syndrome claims more unfortunate victims.

**Seated well away from the rainwater pooling at the entrance, a young boy watched the storm rage outside of his shelter. His ears, which had been improved over several years of living in the wild, strained to hear above the tumult of the storm. **

Joe: "Tumult." Looks like somebody's got himself a fancy thesaurus.

**He stood, as a leathery flapping gradually became audible. The sound was followed moments later by a winged lizard.**

Sora: How'd he wind up on Pern?

**It was roughly as long as the boy was tall, and its body, though deceptively slender, was clearly well muscled under the skin. **

Tai: He had a lifetime membership at Gold's Gym.

**The lizard's bright emerald eyes sparkled with intelligence and cunning.**

Tai: And pudding.

**A mouth arrayed with razor sharp teeth and a long, whiplike tail**

Matt: _(singing) _Whip it! Whip it good!

**made it very clear that if you valued your head it was best not to annoy this creature.**

**The lizard shook droplets of water from its wings.**

****All: _(pantomime shielding their faces from the spray of water)_

**It turned its lithe head to the boy, who had been standing there quite patiently. The lizard spoke, in a voice that sounded perpetually melancholy and depressed.**

****Mimi: Oh, Eeyore, you silly old donkey.

**"Jake…there are more."**

**The boy called Jake looked puzzled. "More? Zegimon, what do you mean there are more? More what?"**

****TK: _(Zegimon)_ "More plump juicy raisins in Kellogg's Raisin Bran!"

**Zegimon blinked slowly. "More like you…more humans. I saw them over on the other side of the mountain, trying to climb it. If this storm lets up, I estimate they will be near here by tomorrow."**

**Jake brushed his long, unruly, light brown hair out of his eyes and unconsciously brought his hands to the tag, which hung on a chain around his neck. "You mean there are more…people?**

All: PEOPLE?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

**From my world? Are they adults or kids?" he asked, a tinge of excitement in his voice although he was clearly trying to hide it.**

Matt: _(singing)_ I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!

**"They are small like yourself."**

****Joe: _(Dr. Evil)_ I shall call them...Mini-Me.

**Jake didn't bother to conceal his excitement anymore. "I don't believe it! More kids! I…I…" he sat down.**

Sora: _(Jake)_ "I've got to vacuum the dirt and polish the rocks if I'm going to have company!"

**"I haven't talked to anyone except you Zegimon—don't get me wrong you're great to talk to but I would like more people to have conversations with—for the four years I've been in the Digiworld!"**

Joe: _(gives head a shake)_ Whoa. Anyone get a license number on that sentence?

**He frowned and looked out into the storm. "But still, it's hard to imagine someone willingly being out in this storm."**

****Sora: Unless they're from Washington.

**However, there WAS someone willingly out in the storm. Eight someones, in fact. Although not all of them were out there willingly.**

****Izzy: Some had been blackmailed.

**"I swear, we're all going to catch pneumonia and die." Joe muttered. "Won't that be fun. Why can't we just stop under some cover and rest? Because if we don't die from pneumonia, exhaustion's gonna get us. And my glasses are fogging up."**

Matt: Well, at least Joe's been written in-character.

Joe: Yeah, that's a relief - HEY!

**He took off his thick glasses and rubbed them with his shirt to try and clear them up,**

Tai: _(makes squeaky glass-polishing noises)_

**but since his shirt was wet it really made the problem only worse. Grumbling, he put them back on.**

**"Oh, just stop whining Joe," Tai looked over his shoulder at the straggler. "We're almost at the top, and look, the storm's beginning to lighten up!"**

****All: _(singing) _I can see clearly now, the rain is gone...

**"Wonderful. Then we have coming down to worry about.**

Tai: _(druggie)_ Coming down is such a bummer, man.

**And aren't we lucky that its not a constant sheet of rain, now its just a downpour." **

****Izzy: Another *beautiful* spring day in Seattle!

**"If you shut up and stop complaining, it won't seem that bad." said Sora, who was near the top of the procession.**

****Sora: That was rather harsh of me.

Joe: Well, it's just the fanfic version of you; it's understandable.

**"Look, even T.K. and Kari are complaining less than you." She motioned to the two youngest of the group, who were climbing, albeit**

****Joe: Thesaurus Word #2! I should start keeping track.

**slowly over a large rock outcropping, helped by Matt, Palmon and surprisingly Mimi, who hadn't complained even once, which was even more surprising.**

****Izzy: But not half as surprising as the fact that she'd shaved off all her hair and was wearing Goth clothing!

Mimi: Ick! Take it back!

**"Yeah, come on, Joe, its not that bad." Piped up the ever-cheerful Gomamon. "Just keep on putting one paw in front of the other and its fine."**

**Joe grumbled some more, but he fell quiet after a time. He protested once when Biyomon perched on his head to rest so he couldn't see and he tripped over a rock and slid about thirty feet back down the mountain, **

Joe: Why am I always the one who's falling down mountainsides and stuff?

Tai: Cuz it's funny when it happens to you.

_(Impulsively, Joe shoves Tai out of his seat and onto the floor. Everyone else giggles, despite a valiant attempt to cover it up.)_

Joe: _(sounding extremely pleased with himself)_ Personally, I thought that was *much* funnier.

Tai: _(muttering as he climbs back into his seat)_ You're askin' for it, Four-Eyes.

**but other than that, he was very good-natured… for him, that was.**

****Matt: Oil, that is. Black gold! Texas tea!

Sora: God bless you, Nick at Nite.

**"Well guys, we're at the top!" Tai gestured around him to illustrate his point, but as the summit was shrouded in a cloud, the effect was rather lost.**

****All: _(triumphant at first, then deflated)_ Huzza!...oh, nevermind.

**Agumon sat down on a rock next to Patamon to rest. "So now what do we do?"**

****Sora: Everyone start knitting!

**Matt answered simply, "We go back down." He sprang to his feet.**

Mimi: BOI-I-I-INNNGG!

**"We aren't accomplishing anything just by lying around here." **

**Palmon walked to the edge of the mountain and looked down.**

Kari: _(Palmon)_ "I can see my house from here!"

**When she looked back up, she was obviously shaken.**

Matt: Not stirred.

**"And how exactly are you planning on doing that? I don't think you've taken a look." At this, the entire party looked over the edge and every single one of them that couldn't fly visibly paled. It was almost a completely vertical drop to the jagged rocks far below.**

****Tai: Oh, well. Let's give up and go home.

Joe: Hey, that's my line! _(blinks)_ What am I saying?

**"I suppose if we had Biyomon, Tentomon, and Patamon digivolve, they could carry us down…" said Sora, but she didn't look too certain.**

**"Hey!" T.K. shouted.**

****All: _(wince and cover ears)_

**"Look, everyone! There's a path over there!" He pointed off to the side of the mountain, where there was indeed a twisting path to the base of the mountain. **

**"All right T.K!" Tai shouted, sprinting towards the path, most of the others following. **

**"Wait! Guys, who or what could have carved this path into solid rock? And why? Guys!!" The others didn't even slow down to listen to Joe's warnings. "I don't know why I try." Sighed Joe as he too took the path.**

****Joe: I *work* and I *slave* for you people, and what thanks do I get?

Matt: Shut up, Joe.

Joe: Exactly!

**The crevice loomed before Izzy, stretching down farther than he could see. "Whoa," he said. "You wouldn't want to fall down here."**

Tai: _(to Izzy)_ How do you know? Maybe we would.

Izzy: Tai...oh, forget it.

**Mimi took off her large hat and ran a gloved hand through her hair. "So how do we get across? We can't jump across, that's for certain. And this time there's no trail carved in the rock."**

**The group thought, yet produced no solutions. Kari suddenly felt a prick on her leg, and looked down to see what it was.**

Mimi: The mosquitoes in the Digiworld are simply HUGE!

**Gatomon was looking behind them, poking Kari frantically with a sharp claw. "Ow! Cut that out, Gatomon!" But the catlike DigiMon kept on poking. **

Tai: _(Gatomon)_ "Does this bug you? Does this bug you? I'm not touching you!"

**"Stop that, Gatomon! We're trying to think about how to cross the canyon!"**

**A voice spoke up from behind the group, causing all of them to jump in unison. **

Izzy: Right off the cliff!

All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhh... *splat*

**"It'd be a lot simpler if you took the bridge."**

****TK: Take it where?

**They turned to see a boy sitting on a rock behind them, with a dangerous-looking lizard DigiMon perched right next to him. The DigiMon's bright green eyes never wavered from the group, and its tail flicked several times. The boy had spiky, unkempt light brown hair, and mesmerizing gray eyes that reminded Kari strongly of the clouds they had encountered up on the peak. He was wearing a jungle green shirt loosely, and well-worn blue jeans. He was very good looking, she thought.**

****Tai: _(to Kari)_ You're not dating anyone until you're twenty-three, young lady.

Kari: Oh, please. That guy is *so* not my type.

Sora: How can you even *have* a type? You're only eight!

**And, Kari noticed, he was wearing a tag around his neck imbedded with a crest they hadn't seen or heard about before, and he had a Digivice on a chain that was clipped to a belt loop. Did this mean that he, too, was a Digidestined?**

****Mimi: You might be a redneck Digi-Destined if you keep your wallet and your Digivice on a chain.

**The boy cleared his throat. "I said, it'd be a lot simpler if you took the bridge over there." He pointed, and by reflex, Kari looked.**

TK: Ha ha! Made ya look! I love that joke!

**Laid across the crevice was a fallen tree trunk, which none of them had noticed before.**

**Matt was the first to speak. "Who…who are you? Why do you have a crest and a Digivice? Are you a Digidestined? How did you get here?"**

****Sora: How many men were on the grassy knoll? Why aren't hamburgers made out of ham? What is the sound of one hand clapping?

**The boy held up his hands.**

****Mimi: _(Jake)_ "Duh, I can show you the sound of two hands clapping..."

**"Whoa, whoa. One question at a time, please. First of all, I'm Jake, and this is Zegimon." The lizard bowed its head in greeting, yet its eyes never moved.**

****Kari: So it's sort of like one of those paintings where the eyes follow you wherever you go.

Sora: Creepy.

**"I'm Tai."**

****Tai: LIAR!

Matt: Dude, settle down, it's just a fanfic.

**"Sora."**

****Sora: Present!

**"I'm Palmon, and this is Mimi."**

**"Matt here."**

****TK: _(points to Matt)_ No, Matt there.

**"Gabumon."**

**"I'm Agumon."**

**Kari spoke, her voice a bit flustered.**

****Kari: I feel like a giddy schoolgirl! Oh, wait...

**"I'm Kari, this is Gatomon, that's T.K., and that's Patamon."**

**As the rest of the group introduced themselves,**

Tai: But wasn't that everybody? How many more people are with us in this story?

Sora: Probably a couple of self-insertion characters, somebody's long-lost distant relatives...

Matt: The cast of "Ben-Hur".

**Jake stood up. "I have a crest and a Digivice. Because, like you, I am **

****Izzy: An alcoholic.

**a Digidestined." **

****Izzy: Oh.

**Joe started to say something, but Jake cut him off.**

****Joe: _(extremely bitter)_ Oh, *THERE'S* something new!

**"I know, I know. You guys are the Digidestined, right? Well that's not right, exactly. I was the first human to ever come here, as far as I know." His eyes grew more misty than they were before.**

****Kari: Cuz his eyes were like clouds, get it? ...Never mind.

**"I was transported**

****Tai: _(singing)_ To a faraway planet, to a world where monsters rule...

Sora: Hey, that could've been our theme song...

**here four years ago, and I've been living in the wild for all that time."**

****Izzy: _(as nature-show host)_ Here we see the very rare and elusive Jake Sunate in the wild.

**Mimi was incredulous. "Four years? When I first came, I got sick of the place in four MINUTES! How did you ever survive four years?"**

****Matt: One word: Spam.

**"It wasn't easy," agreed Jake. "But it can be done." A drop of water fell on his head, and he looked up.**

****Tai: Just as a huge flock of birds flew by...

Sora: Yuck!

**"Looks like the storm is coming back again. I'm afraid the other questions will have to wait. If you'll follow me, I can take you to my home, and you guys can rest, wash up, and have a bite to eat.**

Mimi: _(Jake)_ "Plus I've got cable and South Park's on!"

**Best of all, its sheltered from the storm. Come on!" He walked across the tree trunk calmly. Kari, without really stopping to think, followed him. Of course, then Tai, her older brother, had to follow her. And everyone else was close behind.**

**Chapter Two**

**"So exactly how did you get here?" asked Sora, leaning back against the walls of the cave.**

Matt: _(Jake)_ "Oh, I took the number 23 to Cottage Grove, rode a produce truck up Highway 40 and used the interdimensional portal behind the 7-Eleven. You?"

**"I mean, we all were transported here at the same time, and we were all together. It doesn't make any sense for one single Digidestined to be brought to the Digiworld."**

**Jake sighed and hunched closer to the flickering fire they had built. **

****Tai: Flames...hypnotising...

**"I don't know," he said at last. "I went to bed one night, and I didn't notice anything irregular. I woke up in the middle of the night,**

TK: He had to potty.

**and there was this Digivice—of course I didn't know what it was then, but I do know now—on my table. I picked it up and was transported here. Then I met Liquamon," he pointed to Zegimon, who was perched on a ledge near the cave's ceiling. "Who is Zegimon's deDigivolved form. I've been here ever since."**

**T.K. looked at Jake. "Don't you miss your family and friends? Aren't you lonely?"**

****Tai: _(Jake, lustily) _"Oh, *very* lonely..."

**Jake was silent for a long time. "Of course I miss them. I just…gave up on them, I guess. I doubt I'll ever be able to go home. And neither will you guys."**

****Sora: Well, thanks, Mr. Sunshine. You make Joe look like an opimist.

Joe: Yeah, what a - HEY!!

**T.K. shook his head. "Nope, you're wrong! We've been back there!"**

**Tai spoke up. "I went back twice." **

****Tai: After they'd changed the theme of the light parade.

**"Really? You've been back there? Tell me what happened! I haven't been back in so long!"**

****_(Everyone begins talking at once about a variety of different things which might have happened in the last four years. After a couple of minutes, everybody abruptly stops and resumes reading the fanfic.)_

**They launched into a long explanation of how they had followed Myotismon to the real world, and fought him in a series of bitter conflicts. Gatomon and Kari interjected when needed. "So I Digivolved into Angewomon and destroyed Myotismon with my Celestial Arrow attack," Gatomon said. "But he had killed my friend Wizardmon…" her eyes began to water.**

****Mimi: _(Gatomon)_ "Stupid onions!"

**"And then he wasn't even defeated, but he Digivolved to Venom Myotismon. So Wizardmon died for nothing…" tears began to trickle down her face. "He died for absolutely nothing."**

**"That's not true, Gatomon!" reassured Biyomon. "Remember, he saved Angemon from Myotismon's Grizzly**

****Sora: Adams?

**Wing attack! And he caused your love for him to make Kari's Digivice glow, which made DemiDevimon drop it! So he really saved us all."**

**"I hope so," sniffed Gatomon. "I still really miss him."**

**Kari put her hand on her DigiMon partner's head. "It's okay. We all really miss him. Just try and remember how he helped us by getting the real Crest of Light and everything else! If he hadn't been around, you probably would have never discovered you were the eighth DigiMon!" she pointed out.**

Tai: _(begins making shadow animals on the screen)_

__Matt: What are you doing?

Tai: Well, it's just that we went kind of a long time without saying anything. I was trying to break up the monotony.

**A melancholy silence set in. It lasted for a long while before Jake decided to break it.**

****Joe: _(Jake)_ "They haven't moved in thirteen years...maybe I should do something."

**He stood up and walked to the back of the cave, out of everyone's sight. He returned moments later holding something in his hands. "I hope you don't mind if I play this," he said, holding up a large**

****Izzy: Pipe organ.

**harmonica. "But I've gotten kind of used to playing it late at night to keep from getting lonely."**

**Matt looked at him. "You play the harmonica too?" he inquired. "So do I." He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out his own instrument. **

****

****Tai: _(Jake)_ "Huh huh. Mine's bigger."

**"Yeah!" cried Gomamon. "Let's jam!" Even the stony-faced Zegimon cracked a toothy lizard semi-smile at this.**

**Jake started into a steady blues rhythm, playing the bass line.**

****Matt: This is a blues riff in 'B'; watch me for the changes, and try to keep up, okay?

Joe: Gratuitous 80's movie reference, awaaaaaay!

**After a few seconds of Matt not playing, he stopped. "Uh, feel free to join in at any time, Matt."**

**"I know that!" said Matt, an expression of annoyance on his face. "I was just trying to figure out when to come in! Now lets start again." Once again, Jake began the bass line.**

****Tai: Reel 'em in, quick! Get it? Bass line?

Matt: Yeah, mm-hmm. Funny.

**In several seconds, Matt joined in with a top part. The two of them played a wonderful duet, with several notable parts, including a solo by Jake which traveled all the way up his harmonica's range and back down again, and Matt's incredible improvisation ending. They stopped to a warm round of applause.**

****Izzy: _(Jake/Matt)_ "Screw the clapping, give us some change!"

**Jake smiled, but then it disappeared suddenly. However, no one noticed this. Except for Zegimon, whose bright emerald eyes were locked onto Jake's face. Jake heaved a sigh, which also went largely unnoticed.**

****Joe: But when he started chucking rocks at people's heads and screaming about the Apocalypse, the others sat up and took notice.

**As the fire died down, most of the others went to sleep.**

****Guys: _(loud, wall-shaking snoring noises)_

Sora: _(nudges Tai)_ C'mon, it's bad enough I have to listen to that when you guys really are asleep! I don't wanna hear it while I'm trying to read a fanfic!

Tai: We're not that bad...are we?

Mimi: Just keep telling yourself that, Tai.

**Jake remained awake, however. When he was sure everyone was slumbering soundly, he stood up.**

****TK: _(Jake)_ "Heh heh...now to put their hands in bowls of warm water!"

**Narrowly missing stepping on Agumon's tail,**

****Kari: Agumon doesn't really have much of a tail to step on. It's more like a little stub.

Tai: Don't tell him that; he's very sensitive about the size of his tail.

**he walked out of the cave. He climbed up to above the cave's mouth and hiked a ways up the mountainside to a grove of trees. Ignoring the dampness of the bark, he pulled his way up one of them. **

**Jake grabbed a stone out of his pocket and heaved it at a bunch of berries hanging farther along the branch.**

****Matt: Hey, what'd those berries ever do to you?!

**He missed, and sighed again. **

**Flaps echoed through the air. Startled, he rolled out of the tree**

****Izzy: Um, is that really a smart idea?

**and crouched down. "Who's there?"**

**"It's just me, Jake."**

****Joe: Aaaaaahhh! A clone!

**"Oh. Zegimon. I thought you were asleep." Said Jake, climbing back to his perch.**

****Kari: Jake's a parakeet?

**Zegimon ruffled his wings once. "I was, but you should know by now that I sleep very lightly. I heard someone walking, and I woke up. I saw it was you, so I followed." Zegimon looked at the berries hanging from the branch. "If you want to get those down, this method is simpler…LASER WHIP!"**

****Matt: HAIKEEBA!****

**Zegimon's long tail glowed a bright crimson, then swung around releasing an arc of energy that cut through the berries' stem. The berries fell to the ground.**

**"That's great, but I really don't care." **

****Kari: _(Zegimon)_ "Oh, just because *I* got them down when *you* couldn't, you suddenly don't care anymore. Sore loser."

**Zegimon rested his large eyes on Jake's silhouetted form.**

****Mimi: That's a creepy image.

**"What's wrong?"**

**"The truth is, I don't know, Zegimon." He closed his eyes. "I haven't been around people in so long—four years! I'm not very comfortable with them. And look what they've been doing, going around saving the Digital world! I've been here for FOUR YEARS, Zegimon, and I have just been staying here doing the same things night after night.**

****Izzy: Ugh. Please keep that sort of thing to yourself.

**I don't know…I'm just not like them, I don't understand how or why." **

**The branch above Jake shook as Zegimon alighted upon it. "I heard them talking during your harmonica playing. It was…" he thought. "Sora, Gabumon, and Tai. They said that they would invite you to come with them on their journey."**

****Sora: So be sure to check your mailbox, and remember to fill out the little response card.

**Jake exhaled through clenched teeth. "Why am I not surprised? I don't know…I want human company again, but have I really been alone so long that I've overestimated it? They're all fine,**

****Tai: _(Jake)_ "Especially Mimi...rrrrrrowwrr!"

Matt: Tai, are you trying to tell us something?

Tai: What?! No!

**but…and then there's the part of going up against the evil DigiMon. I don't have the guts to do that! That's why I just stay in the cave." He reached his hand to his neck and removed the crest. "This is the Crest of Nobility. Hah! I don't deserve this…I don't deserve any of this!"**

****Mimi: Calgon, take me away!

**He flung the crest as hard as he can into the night. Zegimon flew after it, and returned a few minutes later with it held in his claw. **

****TK: He's good at playing 'fetch'.

**He dropped it into Jake's hand. "You never know, Jake." He said, his eyes sympathetic. "Believe me, you never know." The two of that stayed like that for a long time into the night.**

****All: _(singing)_ In the still...of the ni-ight...

**"What do you mean you aren't coming with us? Are you crazy?" shouted Tai.**

****Tai: _(French accent)_ Are you stark raving NAKED?!

**"Come on, I mean, you'd be a valuable addition to the group and all. Plus, you can…uh…you can…play the harmonica well! That's something!"**

**Jake stood there impassive.**

****Joe: _(Jake)_ "Your flattery will accomplish nothing, peasant."

**"I'm sorry. I just don't feel up to the task of traveling all over the Digiworld. Again, I'm sorry but my mind is made up, and you can't change it."**

****Izzy: However, you'd do us all a huge favour if you changed your socks.

**"But…but…" sputtered Tai.**

****Matt: Say it, don't spray it, buddy.

**Sora put a hand on Tai's shoulder. "Calm down, Tai. He doesn't have to go with us if he doesn't want to."**

**Tai was still mad, but he managed to rein in his emotions for the moment. Patamon spoke up from where he was hovering beside T.K.'s head. "We will miss you, though."**

****Joe: That is, you've come to mean so much to us that if we're ever forced to throw things at your head, we'll try not to hit you.

Tai: Um...okay.

Joe: _(sighs) _That was a lot funnier before I said it out loud.

**Jake cracked a small smile. "I'll miss you guys too, but I just feel that I belong here. Maybe we'll meet again." His words were hopeful, but the tone of his voice suggested he felt otherwise. Everyone else looked the same way.**

****Kari: Down and slightly to the left.

**"Well…I guess this is goodbye." Murmured Palmon.**

**Jake nodded. "I guess so…well…goodbye."**

****Sora: Yeah, well, goodbye.

Mimi: 'Bye.

Sora: G'bye.

Mimi: See you later.

Sora: Mmm-hmm, bye.

Tai: Geez, just say it and walk away! What is *with* you girls and your long good-byes?!

**As the Digidestined turned and walked off, Jake cleared his throat, causing all of them to turn back. "Yes?" Asked Izzy.**

**"A piece of advice."**

****Tai: _(Jake)_ "Don't eat the yellow snow."

Kari: Yuck!

**Jake pointed to up along the craggy mountain range. "That way, although longer and more rough, is the route I would recommend. Do NOT go through the lowlands."**

**"And why not?" Kari said. "It looks fine to us."**

**Zegimon took to the sky and circled over the group, finally coming down to perch over the cave entrance. "I can't say from experience, but we've heard…things…coming from over there.**

****Izzy: _(ominously)_ Things accompanied by...*doo-hickeys.*

**Some say that the land over there is Devimon's territory."**

**Tai laughed. "Don't you remember? We defeated Devimon! Nothing that he had can hurt us as long as we're a team! Right?"**

****Matt: And with a few simple words, Tai dooms the party to utter disaster.

Joe: Like that's never happened before.

Tai: Shut up!

**"Don't be too sure of that, Tai. Remember this warning." Admonished Jake. However, Tai had already turned to leave, as had most of the other Digidestined. **

**Joe turned to him, a knowing look on his face. "Now you know how I feel all the time."**

****Joe: I suddenly like the author.

Matt: _(mutters)_ Kiss-up.

**Chapter Three**

**"I still don't know why we couldn't have listened to Jake." Remarked Biyomon as she flew along besides Sora.**

****TK: Sora's flying too?

Matt: Hmmmm...it's possible.

**"So what if it was a bit longer? He said it was safer, and he has been here for four years! So he probably knows what he's talking about."**

****Sora: I know of *some* people who've been doing their jobs for four years and *still* don't have a clue as to what they're talking about.

Matt: Watch the political commentary, Sora.

Sora: _(innocently)_ Political commentary? What political commentary?

**"That's easy for you to say, Biyomon! You can fly! And besides, we haven't seen any thing to worry about and we've been walking for almost two hours! It's safe!" Retorted Gomamon.**

****Matt: And with a few simple words, Gomamon dooms the party to utter disaster.

**Mimi sat down abruptly. "My feet are killing me! Can't we rest for a few minutes?" The others blearily spoke up in agreement. **

****Joe: "Blearily"...sounds like a thesaurus word to me. _(takes out a notebook and pencil and writes it down)_

**"Well, this looks as good a place to stop as any," said Matt, looking around the area. "It's open, but there's shelter nearby if we need it, see that grove over there? Also, the river nearby will give us the water we need.**

****Kari: And there's a Denny's right over there, too!

**In fact, I think that we should camp here for the night. It looks like it starts to head uphill into the mountains and I doubt we'll get much farther when we start the climb."**

**"Matt's right." Izzy said, lying down. "We won't make it to any good sites for camping in the mountains, and if we did find one, the odds of severe weather changes are much more significant at higher altitudes."**

****Kari: Izzy needs subtitles.

Izzy: Bah.

**T.K. looked confused. "So what does that mean?"**

**"It means that it'll rain, T.K." Sora sat down and leaned her back against a tree trunk.**

**"Ohhhh." **

****All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

**Izzy sat upright. "We'll need to make a fire, but all the wood around here is supersaturated with water from the river. Who wants to go look for firewood?"**

****TK: _(waving hand in the air)_ Ooh! Ooh! Pick me, pick me!

Tai: _(same) _No, pick me!

Izzy: I worry about you, Tai.

**"I'll go." Volunteered Kari.**

**"If Kari's going, I'll go too!" T.K. stood up.**

**Sora shrugged. "Someone's got to keep an eye on those two. I'll go." **

**Gatomon, Patamon, and Biyomon all agreed to go with their partners as well.**

**They waited, but after no one else volunteered, the six of them turned and walked into the forest.**

****Matt: Everyone else knew that walking into the forest after ignoring the warnings of a newly-introduced, mysterious character was just asking for trouble.

** **

**Jake paused from stirring the chili he was making for him and Zegimon. Something definitely didn't feel right.**

****TK: _(Jake)_ "Hey, I'm sitting in a puddle!"

**However, he couldn't put his finger on it.**

**"Jake?" asked Zegimon. "What is it, Jake?"**

****Joe: _(Zegimon)_ "Did Timmy fall down the well again?"

**"I'm not sure, Zegimon…" Jake dropped the spoon and looked straight into Zegimon's eyes. "I really don't like this."**

****Mimi: I agree. Chili's gross.

**The ground shook. Then it shook again. And again. And again.**

****Tai: Aaaaauuugh! It's a "Jurassic Park" crossover!

**The five remaining Digidestined were jolted from peaceful slumbers. **

**Tai mumbled "Sora…" before fully awaking.**

****All: _(stare at Tai)_

Matt: Ho-HO! Tai, is there something you're not telling us?

Joe: Y'know, I always suspected as much, but I never had any way to prove it...

Tai: _(angry)_ It's all a lie! I deny everything! IT'S JUST A FANFIC!!!

Sora: Well, you don't need to act like it's some sort of curse. Hmph.

**Tentomon looked at Tai strangely. "What did you just say?"**

**Tai's face started to turn a bright shade of magenta. "Oh, nothing, nothing at all."**

****Matt: _(Tai)_ "I wasn't having a dream that involved Sora and a can of whipped cream!"

Tai: _(absolutely livid)_ Shut up before I kick your sorry behind, Matt!

Sora: _(also peeved)_ And if he doesn't, I will.

**"Really? Because I could have sworn you said S---**

****TK: Uuuuummmmm, Tai said a naughty word!

Kari: I'm telling Mom when we get home!

**mmphh!" Tentomon was cut off as Tai clasped his hands over the DigiMon's speaker/mouth thing.**

**Mimi interrupted them. "What in the world is that?"**

****Tai: That's called a tree, Mimi.

Mimi: _(completely oblvious)_ What? I'm sorry, did you say something?

Tai: Never mind.

**A gigantic robot was walking beyond the mountains—it was so big, in fact, that its upper body could easily be seen over the peaks.**

****Izzy: _(robot)_ I am not a gun.

**It was the robot's footsteps that had woken them up.**

**"That's Cybermon. He's Andromon's Mega form! Usually, he's very docile, but he is extremely territorial, and may turn violent towards intruders. If he does decide he wants to destroy you, you had better watch out, since he's loaded for Bearmon.**

****Tai: _(makes some more shadow animals)_

__Sora: How do you make that rabbit-dog-thing?

Tai: Like this, see? _(demonstrates)_

Matt: Guys, this scene isn't that boring.

**His Pulse Cannon will rip through a champion-stage DigiMon in seconds, and his Cluster Missile attack will knock any flying DigiMon out of the sky!" piped up Tentomon, as always, with the necessary information.**

**"Do you think that we're in his territory?" inquired Joe nervously.**

****Izzy: Well, if the trees have been marked with motor oil, that's probably a pretty good indicator.

**"Probably we'd better back off." **

**"Oh, don't worry Joe!" Agumon said. "If we were in his territory, he would have detected us by now, and we would definitely know it."**

****Matt: And with a few simple words, Agumon dooms the party to utter disaster.

**As if to punctuate Agumon's words, Cybermon began to turn around. **

****Joe: - and sprinkled commas and exclamation points all over the ground.

**However, he passed the group of Digidestined, and seemed to focus on a point a few hundred meters away, in the forest. Deep in the forest.**

**This suddenly dawned on Matt and Tai, who bolted upright in an instant. **

**"T.K.!" shouted Matt.**

**"Kari!" yelled Tai.**

**They looked at each other. "Sora!" they both shouted.**

****Izzy: Chief!

Joe: McCloud!

**Together, they took off at a dead run towards the wood-gathering group, the others following closely behind.**

****Matt: So...we fell asleep while waiting for our friends to collect firewood? 

Joe: My faith in us has suddenly plummeted. 

**T.K. picked up another stick from the ground, adding to the accumulating pile of wood in his arms. Suddenly he heard the crackling of sticks. Someone was coming this way—fast. He turned, just in time to see Matt and Tai come crashing through the trees.**

**"T.K., Kari, Sora…we've got to get out of here! No time to explain! Come on!" panted Matt. **

**"What are you talking about, Matt?" Asked Sora.**

****Sora: He just *said* there was no time to explain, you twit!

Tai: Sora, you're yelling at yourself.

Sora: My incredibly *dumb* self.

**"No time!! Come on you guys!" T.K. walked over to Matt, and Patamon followed. **

**"So what's this about?" T.K. looked up at his big brother.**

****Izzy: _(Matt)_ "I just *told* you that there was no time to - gah! You people are driving me *CRAZY*!"

**Matt started to run. "Come on we need to get away!" T.K. was stunned but then followed, as did the others, still unsure of what was wrong.**

**A root caught Sora's foot, however, and she fell to the ground. "Sora!" cried Tai, and he turned back to her.**

****Sora: Oh, sure. I can manoeuver a soccer ball all the way across a field, shoot goals and do a bicycle kick, but as soon as something starts chasing me I get all klutzy and trip over dust motes. Figures.

**It was then that a hideous screeching filled the air,**

****Tai: _(very softly, so only Joe and Sora can hear him)_ Mimi found out what she really looks like first thing in the morning.

Mimi: I HEARD THAT!

Tai: Eep.

**along with a bright blue light.**

****Kari: Digimon from all over the area began trampling one another to get to the sale aisle at K-Mart.

**Several explosions rocked the area of the forest where they had been moments earlier. **

****_(Everyone lurches wildly in their seats.)_

**Tai was hurled up in the air and flung into a tree. He slid to the ground in tremendous pain. He willed his eyes to open. Kari was a few feet away, virtually unharmed, luckily she had been huddling behind a rock when the attack came. T.K. and Matt were farther away, so they hadn't been affected as much. Even now, they were climbing to their feet.**

****Sora: Does this look right, Tai? _(makes a shadow puppet on the screen)_

Tai: Umm...is that the dog, or the bunny?

Sora: It was supposed to be a swan.

Matt: C'mon, guys, this is exciting! Stuff's blowing up! Bodies are flying everywhere! Somebody's probably near death by now! How can you make shadow animals at a time like this?!

**Of Sora—Tai looked to see her limp body in the center of the devastation. Fighting waves of nausea and pain, he struggled to stand up. He rushed to her side. **

****Sora: Of course *I'm* the one near death. It always has to be one of the girls, doesn't it?!

**Sora was in bad shape. Blood was pooling all around her body and there was a growing crimson stain on her stomach. Burns covered much of her body. She didn't look like she would survive.**

****Joe: _(turns green) _Ugh. I feel ill.

Izzy: Come on, Joe, it's just textual blood.

Joe: So?!

**It was at that moment that the other Digidestined ran in. "Oh, my…" said Mimi, clapping her hands**

****Kari: Sora's dead and you're applauding? Sicko!

**to her mouth as she saw Sora. The others simply couldn't speak.**

****Tai: So they pantomimed instead.

**Agumon was the first to spot the problem. "Uh guys? There's still the little thing about an insane robot." He pointed to where Cybermon was leveling his smoldering Pulse Cannon at them. "I think we have trouble!" And that was a definite understatement.**

**To Be Continued...**

****All: Bum bum BUMMMMMM!

_(A small, white light in the corner of the theatre begins blinking. Mimi points to it.)_

Mimi: What's that blinky light thingy mean?

Myotismon: _(off-screen)_ It means your torture session is over for now. Return to the main room.

TK: Yippee!

Joe: Phew, just in time. I need some Pepto-Bismol.

_(The kids stand up and begin filing out of the theatre.)_

Tai: That wasn't too bad, huh guys?

Joe: Why is it that every time you say that, I feel like I'm going to throw up?

Izzy: You already feel like you're going to throw up because of the battle scene.

Joe: I can feel nauseous about more than one thing, can't I?

__________________________________________________________

The children filed out of the theatre, not sure what to make of this new and heretofore unheard-of form of torture. 

"You know," Sora commented, thoughtfully, "that really wasn't as bad as I suspected it would be."

"I have to agree with you there," Izzy added.

Joe stared at them aghast. "Have you all gone mad? This was clearly just something to test us! Myotismon only wants to soften us up before he unleashes his unholy wrath on us!" He was close to hyperventilating now. "Why am I the only one who thinks of these things?! Are the rest of you so gullible that you'll fall for every obvious trick - oh crud," he croaked, before finding a convenient potted plant into which he could toss his cookies.

"It's only a fanfic, Joe. You should really just relax," Mimi told him, wrinkling her nose at the telltale sounds of puking coming from his direction.

"Ah, I see my plan is starting to take effect!" Myotismon's smug voice cut into their conversation.

"On who, Joe? He'll barf at the drop of a hat," Matt said dismissively.

"That's not true," the queasy boy began indignantly, then turned back to the plant to resume his activities.

"Come on, man, we've been through lots worse than that!" Tai scoffed. "I mean, Devimon was pretty gnarly, for starters."

"Etemon was no fun either," Mimi added.

"And let us not forget the whole incident with...well, you know..." Tai trailed off.

"With what?" Myotismon looked simultaneously puzzled and indignant. 

"Well...with your talking crotch. I mean, come *on*, that had to be hands down the most *disgusting* thing I've ever laid eyes on!" Tai grimaced at the mental image that had been indelibly imprinted on his brain.

"Ugh! Tai, did you have to remind us?" Sora complained, frowning.

Joe, who had been looking marginally better up till that moment, promptly turned green and darted back to the potted plant.

TK whimpered and hid his face in Matt's pant leg. "I still have nightmares about that!"

Matt looked no less haunted. "So do I, TK. So do I."

Myotismon's pale face sported a hint of red around his cheeks. "Oh, come on! Surely it wasn't that bad!"

"Are you *kidding*? It was *appalling*!" Kari practically shouted. "What kind of thing is that for a bunch of little kids to see? Most places have *laws* against that sort of activity!"

"I am Lord Myotismon! I am above rules!" shouted the would-be dictator, but he was blushing like a college student caught reading hentai.

"But are you above decency? Have you no shame?" cried Mimi, clasping her hands in front of her. "And in the end, what did you really gain by exposing yourself in front of thousands of citizens? I hope you're proud of yourself, you digital freak! I hope you're *really* proud!" And she broke down sobbing.

Sora shook her finger at Myotismon. "You see, young man? It took your hideous, speaking naughty bits to scar *us* for life. You're going to have to do much better than this fanfic if you want to break our wills."

Myotismon looked abashed. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I'll try better next time, really I will..."

"Well, see that you do. Now go to your room, and you'll have no supper tonight." Sora crossed her arms firmly across her chest.

  
"Yes'm..." Myotismon trailed dejectedly offscreen.

"That was...odd," Izzy commented.

"Well, now that we've challenged him, he'll probably come up with something far worse to torture us with next time." Matt looked rather depressed, which was unusual for him.

"Oh well. What should we do to pass the time until he comes back?" Tai asked.

Sora shrugged, clearly at a loss for ideas. "I'm sure we'll think of something."

And so the eight children lapsed into silence, trying to think of something entertaining to occupy themselves in the meantime. Ultimately, no one came up with anything, and before they knew it Myotismon had returned to the viewscreen, looking wholly malicious and evil...

PART II COMING SOON

DISCLAIMER

As always, I do not own anything associated with "Digimon: Digital Monsters"; they belong to the folks at Toei. "The Tsunonrimon Saga", in its entirety, belongs to its author, 7 of 11.

ABSOLUTELY NO INSULT is intended to the aforementioned 7 of 11, who is a genuinely talented writer and a darn nice guy for letting me MiST this, especially after Kenji Kotaro already took a shot at it. Speaking of whom, Kenji, I hope you don't think I'm ripping you off, because that's not my intent at all! I encourage everyone to read his MiSTing of this story as well, since it's very funny.

stinger

**A root caught Sora's foot, however, and she fell to the ground.**

/stinger


	2. The Tsunonrimon Saga, Part II by 7 of 11

Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga—Part II: Spirit of the Dragon

Myotismon, with DemiDevimon fluttering in the background, leered at the Digi-Destined over the monitor. "How are we doing, my little houseguests?"

Matt gave him a dull look. "Swell," he drawled. "It'd be a lot nicer if, y'know, you weren't holding us prisoner and torturing us and stuff."

"Nobody's perfect," the vampire shrugged."At any rate, I've been giving your previous suggestion a fair bit of thought, and I believe I may have come up with a highly effective means of breaking your pathetic wills."

The children waited in an expectant and dreadful silence.

"Well?" Sora demanded, finally."What is it?"

"That's part of the torture!" Myotismon replied gleefully."I shan't tell you until you've returned from your next round of punishment, which means you'll have to fret and stew over it in the meantime."

"You're a psychological artist, boss," DemiDevimon said admiringly, his golden eyes shimmering.

"Indeed," the vampire agreed smugly."Now push the button and let the torment begin anew!Muahahahaha!"

Snickering, the batlike creature jabbed at the button with one talon, and chaos reigned in the main chamber once more.

"We've got FANFIC SIIIIGN!" Izzy shouted, following Tai and the others into the theatre.

_____________________________________________________________________________

_(The kids file back into the theatre and take their seats.)_** **

****Tai:So he wants us to worry about his stupid little form of punishment, huh?Well, we'll show him.I'm not worrying.Are you worrying, Sora?

Sora:Absolutely not.What about you, Matt?

Matt:No worries on my part.Izzy?

Izzy:Nothing short of another AOL merger will make me lose my composure.How are you doing, Joe?

Joe:It's going to involve cheese graters and lemon juice, I just know it.Or he just might force us to swallow Pop-Rocks and Coke.Or maybe he'll apply hot curling irons to our bodies while forcing us to watch endless reruns of "Who's the Boss".

Tai:_(disgusted) _Way to stay cool, Joe.

TK:_(whimpering)_ Matt, Tony Danza scares me.

**Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga—Part II: Spirit of the Dragon**

**Chapter One**

****Mimi: Wait - I thought last time was Chapter One.

Sora: That was Part One, Chapter One. This is Part *Two*, Chapter One. It makes the story seem all impressive and epic-y.

**Things looked bad for the Digidestined. They were squaring off against the mighty Cybermon, a Mega Digimon. The gigantic robot had already demonstrated his power, by annihilating a section of forest with his Pulse Cannon—and nearly annihilating Sora as well.**

****Izzy: And worst of all, they were out of Cheerios.

**"T.K., Kari!" hissed Matt.**

****Mimi: _(alarmed)_ Eeeek! Matt's turned into a snake! 

Joe:If he tells Kari to eat some forbidden fruit and then give it to TK, I'm going to be disturbed. 

**"Get out of here! Quickly! We can hold him off!" **

**These words brought a dismayed expression to the two youngest Digidestined's faces. "But what about you guys?" protested Kari. "We can't just leave you here to get killed!"**

****Tai: Sure you can! It's easy! Er - I mean...

**"That doesn't matter! As long as we're here, we're responsible for you!" yelled Tai. "Now GO!"**

****TK: Pikachu, GO!

All: NOOOOOOOO! He has invoked the name of the Evil One!

**The two little kids looked ready to protest again, but fortunately Patamon and Gatomon saw the wisdom in that situation.**

****Kari: In what, protesting?

Sora: No more nukes! Ban the bomb! Down with the establishment!

Izzy: Fuzzy puppies for everyone!

**"Good luck, everyone!" said Patamon. "We'll see you after you beat him!" He didn't look too confident of those odds, however.**

****Matt: So he called his bookie and re-placed all his bets.

**"Patamon digivolve to…ANGEMON!" The angel Digimon appeared where Patamon had been standing in a burst of light.**

**"Gatomon digivolve to…ANGEWOMON!" The holy beauty materialized where the cat Digimon had been a moment before. **

****Izzy: Digimon - quick change artists extrodinaire. 

**The two angels picked up their respective Digidestined, and took to the sky. **

****Tai: _(Angemon)_ "Heh heh, now let's take 'em to thirty thousand feet and drop 'em!"

**Cybermon noticed this, however, and diverted his attention to track them. Twin ports opened near his shoulders. "CLUSTER MISSILE!" he roared. Each of the launchers spat fire three times, and six missiles were speeding towards the retreating Digimon. A moment before they impacted,**

****All: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

**each of the missiles separated into seven parts. A gigantic red flower blossomed out of the sky into the angels' paths.**

****Mimi: It's the Deadly Pretty Missile! Run for your lives!

**Nanoseconds later, the singed warriors flew out of the chaos created by the explosion, burnt but otherwise appearing unharmed. T.K. opened his eyes slightly and looked at Angemon.**

****Sora: _(TK)_ "You've got two noses!"

**"Yeah! We did it!" When Angemon failed to respond, T.K. looked closer at his partner and friend. Angemon was tired; T.K. could feel it more than see it. A quick glance over at Angewomon showed that she was in much the same condition. He gulped. They would have to land soon or they would crash. **

****Tai: _(imitates sound of airplane falling from sky)_

**Matt exhaled in relief. He had thought that the cluster missile would have hurt T.K., but apparently it had not affected any of them. His mind turned to the task at hand. Cybermon was still distracted by Angemon and Angewomon! Now was the time to attack. He looked at Gabumon. "Let's go!"**

****Joe: - Ghostbusters!

**"Gabumon digivolve to…GARURUMON!" **

****Tai: How can a reptile evolve into a giant wolf-tiger thing?

Matt: How can a talking pink head evolve into a tyrannosaurus?

Tai: Point.

**"Agumon digivolve to…GREYMON!" **

****Izzy: I've never really understood why he's called Greymon. He's actually more of a burnt orange colour.

**"Tentomon digivolve to…KABUTERIMON!"**

**"Palmon digivolve to…TOGEMON!" **

****All: Chika chika ban ban! _(giggle)_

Mimi: Ahhh, that's fun to say.

**"Gomamon digivolve to…IKKAKUMON!" **

**"Biyomon digivolve to…BIRDRAMON!"**

****Tai: I think Birdramon's a he just pretending to be a she.

Sora: _(thwacks him)_ Shut up, you.

**The six Champion-Stage Digimon prepared for battle. Birdramon especially seemed to want revenge on Cybermon.**

****Matt: _(Spanish accent)_ This robot...did he have six fingers on one hand?

**She flew high into the air. "Meteor Wing!" she screeched, sending huge jets of fire at Cybermon's back. They splashed off harmlessly.**

****Joe: - but set fire to the surrounding forest, torching everyone within a five-mile radius. The end.

Mimi: There's no need to be grim, Joe.

**Greymon charged through the forest to try and get a better chance of scoring**

****Tai: Whoa! I didn't know Digimon even had hormones.

**a critical hit on Cybermon. The large Digimon finally saw his chance, as Cybermon turned to deal with the threat posed by Birdramon. "Nova Blast!" The huge fireball hit the android in one of the areas where it was unprotected by armor plating.**

****Guys: _(wince)_

Sora: Sheesh, you boys are always thinking of *that* area.

**Cybermon turned more quickly than Greymon would have thought possible, and raised its Pulse Cannon. The blue light spewed**

****Tai: _(laughing) _Like Joe was at the end of the last part!

Joe: Oh, bite me.

**and Greymon felt himself being lifted back into and hurled back to the ground again.**

****Kari: Spewing, hurling...what's with all the vomit euphemisms in this part of the story?

**"Howling Blaster!" Garurumon was following a different tactic than Greymon or Birdramon.**

****Sora: He was using his Rook to trap the opponent's Queen!  
Izzy: Would that actually work?

Sora: I dunno. I've never played.

**He was going to hopefully knock out Cybermon's motor systems. If the robot was made immobile, they could attack him without fear of retaliation.**

****Matt: Attacking an unarmed Digimon...that doesn't seem very honourable of us.

**A twinge of fear went through Garurumon's mind as he saw Cybermon fire his pulse cannon and he knew that one of their force was either in trouble or already downed.**

**Kari felt Angewomon dip even lower in the air.**

****Izzy: She'd brought her Lou Bega CD and wanted to practice her swing dancing.

**She peeked at the face of her partner, who was clearly quite tired.**

****Joe: She'd been up for three weeks studying for her physics final.

**Kari scanned the ground below them frantically, trying to find a good place to land. Suddenly she saw it. That cave looked awfully familiar… "Quick, Angewomon! Down there!" Kari pointed to the clearing below. Angewomon dove downward, a bit too rapidly than Kari would have liked,**

****Tai: _(Kari)_ "I'm gonna hurl!"

**but they were still under control. T.K. and Angemon followed Angewomon's lead.**

****Sora: They're dancin' fools!

**The group touched down safely.**

****Matt: And proceeded to spike TK and Kari in victory.

**The angels let T.K. and Kari to the ground, then immediately deDigivolved to Gatomon and Patamon. They lay there panting, too tired to even move. **

****Tai: I'm not even gonna touch this one.

TK: Huh? What do you mean?

Matt: _(quickly)_ Nothing. Nothing at all...

**Kari was sure this was the place. "Jake!" she hollered. "Jake where are you? Come out, please!**

****Mimi: _(Jake)_ "Not until you count to a hundred and come looking for me!"

**We need your help! Jake!" she almost screamed herself hoarse until she stopped. This wasn't the place after all. Now what could they do? Their Digimon were tired and they needed to get help for the others. Kari had all but given up when a voice spoke from behind her.**

****Matt: Booga booga booga!

**"What do you need now?" Jake sounded faintly exasperated.**

****Joe: _(Jake)_ "Darn kids! Can't you read the 'No Soliciting' sign?"

**"Please, Mr. Jake!" pleaded T.K., running over. "Everyone else is in a fight against Cybermon, and they need your help!"**

****Tai: Just mail your generous cash donations to the address at the bottom of your screen...

**Jake's ran his hand through his hair.**

****Izzy: Jake's? There's more than one of him?

Joe: Just like I said last time - clones.

**"Cybermon, eh? I've heard of him. They don't stand a chance against him."**

****Matt: _(Jake)_ "Poor jerks. Who's up for some pie?"

**T.K. looked hopeful. "So you'll help us?"**

**"Nope."**

**Kari looked at him in disbelief. "What? But why not?" It wasn't fair. She had thought Jake would have had jumped on the chance to help the Digidestined.**

**He sighed. "I warned them, and they chose to ignore my warning. I'm sorry, but I won't risk my own neck because they thought they knew more about the Digiworld than me."**

****Tai: Yeah, the heck with 'em! If they can't pay attention to a simple warning, then let 'em rot!

Matt: Tai, that's us he's talking about.

Tai: Oh yeah. Well, Jake's just a big poophead then!

Izzy: _(sighs)_

****

**T.K. started to cry. "He already got Sora…and he's going to get Matt too…and Tai, and Mimi, and Joe, and Izzy, and Agumon, and Gomamon…"**

****Izzy: ...and Chief...

Joe: ...and McCloud...

**Jake's face flickered for a second, but in moments he was indifference itself.**

****TK: He Digivolved! Cool!

**"Why should I care about them? I only met them yesterday?"**

**Kari pointed an accusing finger at him. **

****Sora: She'd picked up some *awfully* crude gestures watching all that American television.

**"You! I don't believe you! I can't believe I even thought that you would have ever been nice! I hate you! Do you hear me? I HATE YOU!" she started to sob uncontrollably, which caused T.K. to follow suit.**

****Mimi: _(Kari, blubbering)_ "S-stop copying me, y-you big copy-c-cat!"

**"Calm down! Stop crying!" Jake's attempts to quiet the two were unsuccessful. He looked at them, sighed, looked at them again, and sighed again.**

****Tai: Then, he looked at them again and sighed once more for good measure.

**"Okay, fine, I'll help." The two little kids immediately stopped bawling.**

****Joe: _(TK)_ "Wow, that was easy! Now let's see if we can get him to give us candy!"

**"The trouble is, how can we get there in time?" He pointed to the fatigued Gatomon and Patamon. "They're too tired to get us anywhere and I don't think we can run in time."**

**"Ahem." Zegimon was perched, unnoticed, on a tree branch. "I can get you there in time." **

**Jake grew puzzled. "You can? How?"**

****Matt: _(Zegimon)_ "I've got a bus pass."

**"It's simple. By Digivolving!" said Zegimon.**

**T.K. looked at Jake in amazement. "You mean you've been here for FOUR YEARS and Zegimon still hasn't digivolved to his Champion form yet?"**

****Sora: Jake just flunked 'Being a Digi-Destined 101'.

**Jake suddenly became very interested in a rock on the ground. "Eh…heh heh…well we haven't had much reason to fight here.**

****Tai: Since he just sat there in his cave night after night while we were out fighting evil...big pansy.

**But anyway, Zegimon, can you do it?"**

**The lizard nodded. "I think so, Jake." Jake's Digivice started to glow. **

**"Zegimon digivolve to…KAMOMON!" Gone was the smallish lizard. In his place was another lizard, but this one of immense size. His wingspan was easily many times Jake's height. Inch-long, razor sharp teeth**

****Izzy: A huge lizard with inch-long teeth? That doesn't seem very intimidating.

Joe: Well, it's the claws you've got to watch out for.

**gnashed as the former Zegimon checked out his new form. "This seems…powerful."**

****Matt: _(Kamomon)_ "I'M HUGE!"

**Kari looked at Kamomon in amazement. "It looks powerful! We don't have any time to waste, though! Let's go!" She ran over to the tired Gatomon and scooped her up, as T.K. did with Patamon. Still holding Gatomon, she climbed onto Kamomon's back. His skin felt smooth, yet not slippery. It was a really cool feeling, she finally decided.**

****Kari: I gave it two thumbs up.

**Jake climbed onto Kamomon's back in front of Kari. "Okay, let's see what you can do, Kamomon!" The winged giant flew into the air and towards the battle. **

****Mimi: Without TK?

Tai: _(TK)_ "Hey, guys, wait for meeeeeee!"

**Jake murmured to himself. "Those kids are probably going to kill me someday." **

** **

**MegaKabuterimon's two-pronged horn sparked with energy. "HORN BUSTER!" He dove at Cybermon, but the electrical discharge barely dented the giant. Things were really looking bad. Cybermon had forced all of the Digimon to digivolve to their Ultimate stages,**

****Kari: - thereby cueing up the "Hey Digimon" song.

All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

**and yet they were still being defeated. Garudamon was out of the fight already—knocked out of the air by a barrage of Cluster Missiles—as was MetalGreymon.**

**Cybermon looked straight at MegaKabuterimon. The Pulse Cannon flashed again, and the Ultimate felt the blow nearly hit him directly. "HORN BUSTER!" Again, Cybermon didn't even feel the hit. This was definitely not good.**

****Tai: _(Rain Man)_ Not good. Deff'nitely, deff'nitely not good.

**"So how is she, Izzy?" Tai bent over Sora's comatose body. The two of them were staying with Sora to check out what was wrong with her and see if they could do anything. Since everything in the Digital World was made up of digital code, Izzy was using his computer to find any errors in the code regarding Sora—that is, to see what had happened to her.**

****Izzy: And why all her links led to '404 - File Not Found' messages.

**"Well, the damage is mostly superficial.**

****Tai: We can stitch that missing leg back on in no time. And as for her internal organs, well we'll just stuff those back inside and glue 'er together.

Sora: Now *I* feel ill.

**There is little to no internal bleeding, and all her bones seem to be in decent shape. However, she did suffer one major laceration here," he traced his finger over Sora's left side.**

****Matt: Watch those hands, Izumi.

**"From the initial Pulse Cannon blast. The bleeding has stopped, but the loss of blood prior to that has caused her body to go into shock." Izzy glanced once more at his computer screen.**

****Joe: _(Izzy)_ "Her prognosis looks grim, but - oh geez, more get-rich-quick spam!"

**"Also, she suffered some tissue damage in her right leg. After we get through this," Tai could hear the unspoken 'if' in Izzy's voice. "It might be a while before she can walk as well as she did before."**

****Sora: Forget all that - will I ever play the piano again?

**"So what can we do?" Asked Tai, concerned. **

**"We can't do anything about the tissue damage, but we can help the shock. Get me a blanket out of Joe's medical bag, would you?" Tai obeyed, and the two of them spread it out over Sora. "Now we just have to protect her from anything that might…" **

****Matt: Kill her?

**He never got to finish that sentence. There was a flash of all-too-familiar azure**

****Joe: Ooooo, thesaurus word! _(writes it down)_

**light and MegaKabuterimon crashed through several trees and to the ground, skidding to a stop several feet away from the group. **

**"MegaKabuterimon!" Shouted Izzy.**

****Izzy: You know, I'm starting to think we really should adopt shorter nicknames for our digimon. Like Stan, or Fred, or Bob.

**He looked up to see Cybermon leveling the Pulse Cannon at the giant beetle, intending to finish him off.**

****Mimi: He'd loaded his Pulse Cannon with industrial-strength Raid.

**Izzy cringed. They were too close to MegaKabuterimon. A Pulse blast would hit them all, and he seriously doubted Sora could survive another one.**

****Matt: _(Izzy)_ "We should move her and jostle her spine around."

**He didn't even know if he or Tai could survive it. This was the proverbial**

****Joe: _(scribbles in his notepad)_

**'it'. Izzy closed his eyes and waited for the blast.**

**There was a whine as Cybermon charged up.**

****Tai: That was probably Mimi.

Mimi: I heard that, too!

Tai: D'oh!

**The whine built and built… **

****Joe: Definitely Mimi.

Mimi: _(punches him in the arm)_ I'll kill you both, so help me!

Joe: Owie.

**"FLAME CLAW!" yelled someone. Izzy opened his eyes in surprise to see a gigantic flying lizard Digimon fly overhead, with several children riding on his back.**

****Sora: Onward, Mnemeth!

**Several children that looked very familiar, somehow…The Digimon opened his mouth and launched a huge jet of flame at Cybermon.**

****Matt: Somebody needs a shot of antacid.

**The fire formed itself into a giant claw, which raked Cybermon across the face. For the first time, the gigantic robot stumbled backwards. Izzy saw two more Digimon leap off of the lizard; and these were two Digimon that he definitely knew. But how could they be here? Matt had told them to go to safety.**

**"Gatomon digivolve to…ANGEWOMON!" **

**"Patamon digivolve to…ANGEMON!"**

****Kari: Patamon went Champion twice in, what, fifteen minutes? Has he been using steroids or something?

**Both of the fresh Digimon **

****Tai: Pipin' hot, right out of the oven!

**winged towards the battle, as the lizard turned back to where Izzy and Tai were. He landed with barely a thump, although he looked as if he weighed quite a bit due to his size.**

****Tai: He'd been porkin' down on Ho-Ho's and Ding-Dongs.

**It was then that Tai recognized the third child on the back of the behemoth. "Jake?" he asked, confused. "I thought you were going to stay in your cave; you didn't want anything to do with us!"**

**Jake nodded. "That was my plan, but then T.K. and Kari showed up and they told me what was happening to you.**

****Izzy: _(Jake, disgusted)_ "They *whined*."

**So I came." He walked to Tai. "You should be proud of your sister, she's quite a persuasive speaker."**

****Izzy: Persuasive whiner.

Tai: _(mutters)_ Don't I know it...

Kari: Hey!

**He grinned, but the expression faded as he saw what had happened to Sora. "Cybermon's handiwork?" he asked.**

****Joe: _(Jake)_ "I'd know that delicate style of macrame anywhere!"

**Izzy nodded. Jake clenched his teeth. "Well, I guess that's one more reason to fight this guy off."**

**Tai turned his attention to the Digimon that had brought T.K., Kari, and Jake to them. "Since you're Jake, that means you're…"**

****Tai: Wait - the digimon is Jake?

Sora: No, we know that Jake's the human.

Matt: But who is the walrus?

Tai: Huh?

Matt: Beatles reference. Never mind.

**"Kamomon." The Digimon supplied. "I am Zegimon's Champion stage. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a battle to fight."**

****Mimi: _("Him")_ "Now if you'll excuse me, I must TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Joe: Now *that* was spooky.

**Kamomon sprang into the air and hurtled towards Cybermon. "FLAME CLAW!"**

****TK: It's THE CRAW!

Matt: What is the sound of one craw crapping?

Sora: Thank you, Matt, for referencing a joke that only three people on the planet will understand.

Matt: No problem.

**Matt, Mimi, and Joe watched the fight unfold from higher up on the mountainside. Joe looked at the new Digimon entering the fight. "Oh great," he muttered. "With our luck, those are probably some of Cybermon's friends come to help finish us off."**

**Matt grabbed his arm.**

****Tai: - and proceeded to beat the melancholy right out of him.

Matt: I only wish.

Joe: HEY!!!

**"No, wait!" he said. "They're Angemon and Angewomon! That means Kari and T.K. are back!" He looked at the other one. "But who is that?" The lizard seemed very familiar to him, but why?**

****Sora: He'd pulled a thorn from its paw when it was only a pup.

**As far as Matt could remember, he had never encountered that particular Digimon before.**

****Tai: But the way Matt was hittin' the bottle, he was lucky to remember his own name.

Matt: Can't blame me, having to take orders from someone like you.

Tai: Watch it, pretty boy.

**As the lizard flew closely overhead, dodging from side to side to avoid getting blasted out of the sky,**

****Sora: Weave! Weave! Serpentine!

**Matt saw a glimmer of emerald in the lizard's eyes. It suddenly clicked.**

****Joe: _(Matt)_ "Bruce Wayne *is* Batman!"

**"Jake's here!"**

**Mimi looked hopeful. "Maybe now we can beat Cybermon! Look! We're starting to win!" It was true. With the addition of three new Digimon,**

****Izzy: - the cast was becoming sorely overcrowded.

**the tide of the battle was turning. Cybermon was showing serious damage at various parts of his mechanical body. This inspired some of the fallen Digimon to have an extra boost of energy.**

****Tai: That and the sports drinks the guys in catering brought in.

**The telltale glow of MetalGreymon's Giga Blaster missiles impacted at the base of Cybermon's neck, and Garudamon and MegaKabuterimon appeared from the forest, ready to fight.**

**Cybermon, although battered, was not about to succumb**

****Joe: _(scribbles)_

**that easily. As Kamomon was making another run, the android suddenly turned its torso around 180 degrees to face the lizard Digimon. Its hand came up and around, slamming into Kamomon's face.**

****Matt: Whoa! Hey! That can't be legal!

Sora: Where's the referee? Is he blind?!

**The Digimon started to fall to earth. In the same fluid motion, Cybermon brought its Pulse Cannon around, targeting WereGarurumon. Bolts of sapphire energy flashed and the Ultimate-stage Digimon collapsed. Cluster Missiles spewed from the launching ports, and the flying Digimon were tossed around like toys in the resulting explosions.**

****Tai: Well, that's because they use models for all the big action sequences. Saves a ton on stunt doubles and CGI.****

**"Oh, no." Jake and the others watched what, moments before, had been a winning battle turn into absolute chaos. There was a bone-jarring thud, and Jake saw his partner fall into the forest not 100 feet away. "No! Kamomon!" He sprinted to the spot where the Digimon lay, gasping for breath. "Are you hurt?" Jake asked, concerned. **

****Matt: _(Kamomon)_ "I just got pimp-slapped by a giant robot and knocked a hundred feet to the ground. Whaddya think?!"

**Kamomon shook his head slowly. "No…" he breathed. "Just very…tired."**

****Kari: SLEEEEEEEEEEEP!

**"Hey Jake!" Tai ran over, a serious expression on his face. "We're getting crushed by this guy! We've decided to get out of here while we still have our legs!"**

**Jake looked at him, infinite sadness tainting his voice. "That won't work." He sighed. "If even half the stories I've heard about him are true, he'll keep following you until one of two things happens."**

**"And what would those two things be?" interrogated Tai.**

****Sora: Heck freezes over or Nimpy writes us a decent script, whichever comes last.

**"The two things?" Jake turned back to Kamomon. "Either you destroy him, or he destroys you. So running away is about the equivalent of laying your head out on the chopping block."**

**Tai was visibly horrified. "So you mean either he dies or we do?" Jake nodded. "Well we aren't going to die! At least, I hope not." **

****Matt: And with a few simple words, Tai dooms the group to - 

Tai: Enough already!

**There was a faintly audible 'whoosh' sound, and Jake looked up, startled. Suddenly, he dove at Tai. "Get down!" he yelled.**

****

****Sora: Get funky!

**The Cluster Missile Jake**

****Matt: Is that like Tailgunner Jo?

Joe: Hm?

Matt: Never mind.

**had spotted burst into the smaller missiles, and a hail of destruction rained down upon them. When the smoke cleared, Tai was unharmed, and Jake was singed. "I'll be…all right." Coughed Jake. "But that really does a number on your back."**

****Izzy: _(Jake)_ "I've got to...call my masseuse."

**He rolled over and closed his eyes to rest.**

**Kamomon saw all of this, his mind not really understanding this until he saw Jake lying, obviously hurt, on the ground. His brain started to focus on that one thought.**

****Tai: _(Kamomon)_ "Mmmmmmmmm...peanut butter..."

**Jake was hurt. Jake was hurt protecting a friend. Jake was hurt. And out of the corner of his foggy vision, he saw Jake's crest beginning to glow.**

****Izzy: And cue the CGI sequence!

Sora: _(somewhat bitterly)_ No, that was just for Matt and Tai's digimon. They're *special.*

Matt: Well, why fight the truth.

**"Kamomon digivolve to…" Kamomon stood up. Metal armor appeared covering much of his large wings. His right arm glinted with chrome as the metallic shielding spread across his torso, and half of his head. A glowing red sensor replaced the eye covered by metal, and circuitry spread across the steel like a patchwork quilt.**

****TK: He turned into The Terminator.

**Kamomon's mighty jaws were coated in the metal, and energy flowed from steel tooth to steel tooth. Power flowed across his entire body as the transformation was completed. "…METAL KAMOMON!" MetalKamomon took to the sky to resume the fight.**

****Kari: _(singing)_ Hey Digimon, hey Digimon, monster friends to the boys and girls...

All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

**Lillymon looked into the sky. The last thing she remembered was fire all around her. What had happened? Why was she now on her back lying on the ground, pain wracking her body?**

****Tai: Then she remembered that she'd been in the mosh pit at a KoRn concert.

**The answer came to her. She had been defeated by Cybermon. She had failed. What use was there in continuing the battle against an enemy who she couldn't beat?**

****Joe: _(Lillymon)_ "Guess I'd better just give up, go home and drink myself into a stupor."

**Suddenly, she saw a glimmer of steel flash over her. If her mind wasn't playing tricks on her, she had just seen Kamomon pass, but he was covered in metal. Maybe he had Digivolved!**

****TK: Or maybe it was a robotic clone! That'd be so cool!

Tai: Ummm...yeah, okay.

**So perhaps there was reason to fight on! With great effort, she picked herself up off the ground. It was time to see if the Digidestined could really triumph over this evil creature.**

**Jake staggered back to the others, Tai helping him stand. He saw that Mimi, Matt, and Joe had all rejoined the group. He felt hands helping him to lie down by Sora. A roaring battle cry pierced the air,**

****Matt: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRGE!

**and everyone turned to watch MetalKamomon fly overhead, followed by Lillymon, Angemon and Angewomon, Garudamon, and MegaKabuterimon. MetalGreymon, Zudomon, and WereGarurumon sped past on foot. Jake smiled. "Go, MetalKamomon…you can do it." He whispered.**

**"Shock Jaw!" MetalKamomon snapped his jaws shut. Ripples of energy emanated from the clash and added to the growing collection of holes in Cybermon's armor. **

****Mimi: _(Cybermon)_ "I got this one at a flea market in Guam...this one I picked up at an antique show in Delaware...oh, and this one here was a garage sale find!"

**Lillymon and Angemon were right behind him. "Flower Cannon!" Lillymon charged up and shot three bursts out of her weapon.**

**Angemon's hand grew a bright gold. "Hand of Fate!" A red and white beam of power tore through the air in front of the Holy Warrior. The Flower Cannon and Hand of Fate both hit Cybermon exactly where MetalKamomon had punctured the armor. The giant robot screamed an electronic-sounding roar of pain.**

****Joe: _(Cybermon, whiny)_ "Ouchie ouchie ouchie! Why do you guys hate me?!"

**MetalKamomon turned back for the coup de grace. He created a ball of blue energy between his hands. The sphere grew larger and started to spark as excess power couldn't be contained. "ARMAGGEDON BLAST!" yelled the Ultimate, tossing the energy. It hit, and a gigantic explosion knocked Cybermon to the ground. **

****TK: FOOM!

**However, the shock waves could not tell the difference between friend or foe, and so they sent all of the friendly Digimon for a serious loop. **

****Izzy: D'oh!

**MetalKamomon, being the closest to Cybermon at the time, was thrown back into the air, out of control. **

****Tai: _(MetalKamomon)_ "Mayday...mayday! I'm going down! She's in a flat spin! I can't control her!"

Matt: Goose! NOOOOOO!

Sora: You're really haulin' with the 80's movie references.

**MetalKamomon glowed, and suddenly he was MetalKamomon no longer. He had reverted back to Zegimon. The Rookie-stage Digimon fell to the ground right in front of the recovering Jake. **

****Mimi: Hallelujah, it's raining Digimon!

**Jake sat upright, ignoring his condition. "Zegimon! What happened, Zegimon? Are you okay? Can you fight?"**

****Matt: Geez! What is it with this guy? His digimon's close to dying and all he can do is tell it to fight? _(stands up in his seat and shakes his fist at Jake)_ Have you no *empathy*, man?!

TK: Matt, calm down! You're scaring me!

**Weakly, Zegimon shook his head no. "No…energy left…can't fight…" he hissed. "It's over…"**

**Jake looked at Zegimon in disbelief, then to the battle. Although Cybermon was badly damaged, without MetalKamomon to assist, they started to lose once again. Right before Jake's eyes, Angewomon was knocked into MegaKabuterimon by a Pulse Cannon, and the two of them crashed to the ground together. "Do you see them, Zegimon? They need your help! They're counting on you! The Digidestined are counting on you!" Jake looked into Zegimon's eyes. "And I'm counting on you. Can you do it?"**

****Sora: Jake has the Crest of Guilt Trip.

**Zegimon lacked the strength to move. "No…I cannot…I cannot fight any longer…must rest…" The small lizard closed its eyes.**

**Jake stood up, then doubled over and coughed uncontrollably. When the fit was over, he looked at the resting Zegimon. "If you can't help them, I will." And he ran off.**

**Mimi ran to where they had left Sora and Jake. When she arrived, she immediately knew something was wrong.**

****Joe: _(Mimi)_ "Let's see...oh, yes. One of our dead is missing."

**Sora was right where they had left her, yet Jake was missing—and Zegimon was in his place. Mimi rushed to Zegimon, and shook him awake.**

****Tai: _(Mimi)_ "Jake! Did you and Zegimon switch bodies? Oh, I just knew this would happen!"

**"What happened to Jake? Where is he?"**

**Zegimon opened his eyes. "Jake…went to help others…fight Cybermon." Then he went back to sleep. **

**"What?" Jake had gone to fight Cybermon, in his condition? That wasn't good. That was absolutely downright bad.**

****Matt: How bad was it?

Others: Really super-duper ultra bad!

**Jake ran as fast as he could to where the battle was taking place. With luck, Cybermon wouldn't notice him. With luck, he could find a way to hinder the robot's massacre of his friends. With luck, they could defeat Cybermon. And with luck, Jake could become the ruler of the world.**

****Mimi: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Joe: Yaaaahh! Don't *do* that!

**Cybermon was turned away from Jake at the moment, firing at Zudomon, who retaliated with multiple strikes from his Vulcan's Hammer, but who was really no match for the Pulse Cannon; and Jake knew that the moment wouldn't last. He would have to act now. **

****Kari: - if he wanted to take advantage of the special limited-time offer.

**Jake reached to the ground and picked up a large splinter of rock, which had apparently been dislodged by a missed attack. Holding the natural dagger in front of him, Jake charged to Cybermon's foot. **

**MetalGreymon had luckily opened a hole right within Jake's reach, exposing the circuitry inside.**

****Izzy: How conveeeeeeeeeenient.

**If Jake could damage that, it could possibly disengage some of Cybermon's functions. Jake began to slash.**

****Tai: With who?

Sora: Ick.

**Sparks flew as the rock blade sliced deep into the core of Cybermon's leg.**

**A feeling told Jake to look up.**

****Matt: _(singing)_ What a feelin'! Bein's believin'!

Mimi: That really didn't make any sense.

Matt: That's the 80's for you.

**He obeyed the urge, and saw a gray blur driving forward to slam into his body, and knock him back about 50 feet into the forest. **

**Cybermon's face twitched—a smirk, perhaps?—**

****Izzy: Oh, maybe. I don't know.

**as it brought its foot down again from kicking Jake. Jake found himself looking right into the cavernous maw of the Pulse Cannon, unable to move. He managed to get one deep breath. "ZEGIMON!!!!!!!" he screamed. **

****Matt: _(high-pitched, girly)_ HELP, SUPERMAN!

**Zegimon's eyes opened in an instant. Jake needed him. Jake was in trouble. He suddenly felt new life spurt into his muscles, his nerves, his brain. Jake needed him, now. Zegimon began to glow.**

****Tai: Seconds later, he exploded.

**"Zegimon Warp Digivolve to…" Kamomon's bulk flashed in a golden light, and his mighty jaws snapped together. Suddenly, Kamomon was gone, and light gleamed off the polished surface of MetalKamomon's chrome-plated body. And now, the Digimon was beginning to grow, to get larger.**

****Matt: Say it with me, everyone!

All: I'M HUGE!!!

**His neck elongated to over twice his previous body length, and every inch of it was covered in gleaming metal scales.**

****TK: Oooooh, shiny.

**MetalKamomon's whiplike tail grew until it was almost the same length as the new neck. His wings were entirely covered in steel, and they, too, increased in size. They were no longer the stubby, finlike wings that the previous Digivolutions had possessed, but these were more elegant, larger.**

****Joe: And monogrammed.

**His head accumulated twin ridges along the sides, and the snout stretched to become thin, yet powerful. What parts of the body weren't covered entirely in the metal scales grew scales that were a fiery red color. The new Digimon shot a jet of flame from its mouth, as befitting its name. "…DRAGOMON!!!"**

****Tai: Zegimon's been taking some of Patamon's steroids.

**Dragomon covered the ground between his original spot and the battlefield in mere seconds. Interposing himself between Cybermon and the downed Jake, his wings were surrounded in a bright golden aura. "Wing Shield!" Dragomon used his wings as a cape, covering both of them completely. Cybermon's Pulse Cannon spat energy multiple times,**

****Sora: Ptu! Ptu! 

**but each time it dissipated harmlessly on Dragomon's shield. **

**Dragomon got up from the crouch in a springing tackle, which knocked Cybermon completely off balance. This was his chance.**

**Storm clouds suddenly gathered overhead, with no warning. Lightning struck down from the clouds, yet did not flash in random spots. Each bolt hit exactly in the same spot, between Dragomon's wings.**

****Matt: Uh, Dragomon, you might wanna move, buddy...

**Likewise, the rain funneled to that spot, and no other. However, this didn't seem to bother Dragomon at all.**

****Mimi: _(Dragomon, singing)_ I'm siiiiiiiiingin' in the rain...

**On the contrary, he seemed to be gathering energy. It wasn't long before a ball of energy started to appear there. The winds started to pick up speed. A virtual tornado surrounded Dragomon, and yet he was only focused on Cybermon, in front of him. The winds started to shape the ball into a glowing rod of storm energy. **

****TK: _(imitates sound of a drumroll)_

**All of a sudden, all was calm again. The rain no longer fell, the wind was not blowing anymore, and no more lightning strikes came down. Dragomon braced himself. "HURRICANE BEAM!!!" The rod shot out into a beam of tremendous force, which sparked with lightning as it sped towards Cybermon. The beam collided with Cybermon's chest, and ripped its way through, coming out the other end. **

**Electricity started to play all over Cybermon's body,**

****Joe: - frolicking devil-may-care on the monkeybars and slides...

**and then something exploded. Cybermon fell to its knees.**

****Izzy: _(Cybermon)_ "My heart!"

**It shimmered, and then dissolved.**

**A cheer went up from the Digidestined. They had won. Against all odds, they had survived the battle. **

****All: Huzza!

**Dragomon seemed to sigh, and then he shrank back into a small ball covered in fur with a little tail and two tiny forepaws.**

****Mimi: Awwwww, isn't he kyooooooote?

Matt: Whatever.

**Jake, who was still carrying the worn-out Liquamon, looked at the group. "I've changed my mind. I have decided to come with you guys after all. I mean, I now know that I have the courage to take on supremely powerful evil Digimon, and besides, you need Zegimon and I to help you out."**

****Tai: Nope, you made your decision and we're holding you to it. Go back to your cave, young man!

**T.K. smiled. "Yay! Jake's coming with us!" he said, jumping into the air.**

****Mimi: Boingy boingy boingy! 

**Jake cracked a grin at this. "Oh, and Sora's doing much better!" he mentioned. "There are some herbs in this forest that make wounds heal much faster. However, she's asleep right now, so I wouldn't go talk to her. I left Tai with her to keep an eye out for anything…"**

****All (except Tai and Sora): Oooooooooooohh!

_(Tai and Sora merely blush, looking a bit annoyed.)_

**Tai looked at Sora lying there on the ground. It was good that she was getting better. "You had me very worried, Sora." He confided in her. Not that she could hear it, but it made him feel better to talk about it. "I thought for a second that I had lost you. Please don't ever make me worry like that again." He didn't know why he did this, but he bent over, and ever so gently kissed her.**

****Matt: Whoa-HO! Tai shoots, he scores!

Tai: Shut up, Matt! I mean it!

Matt: And what if I don't?

_(In response Tai leaps at Matt and wrestles him to the floor. The two scuffle, growling and saying not-nice things.)_

__Sora: _(sighs)_ Sure, just give the fans some more Taito fodder, you guys.

Tai and Matt: WHAT?!

_(In the blink of an eye, they return to their seats, looking highly indignant.)_

Sora: Heh heh...nothing breaks up a fight faster than the T-word.

**He sat back against the wall and watched her beautiful face. Was that his imagination, or did she smile in her sleep?**

****Joe: Or was it gas?

**Two days later, the Digidestined, now with Jake and Zegimon added to the team, continued their journey. It was a very rare moment, when, Tai and Sora found themselves being the only ones awake. Sora looked up at all the stars. **

****Izzy: And she was really out of it, since it was only two in the afternoon.

**"I wonder if our parents in the Real World are seeing these stars too." Tai just shrugged. "You know, Tai, when I was asleep after the battle, I dreamt about our parents. They were really worried about us, yet at the same time, they knew that they had done the right thing by letting us go back to the Digital World, and they are very proud of us. Do you think that's true?"**

****Matt: _(Tai)_ "Nah, my parents disowned me a long time ago."

Tai: Heh heh...hey!

**Tai nodded. "I know it's true. Our parents love us. They would have realized, then, that we had to do this, at no matter the cost. We have to save them, and they know that we have a big enough responsibility already. They wouldn't want to add to that."**

****Sora: Either that or they just wanted us out of their hair for another couple of days while they took some personal time.****

**"And Tai?" ventured Sora.**

**"Mmm?"**

**"Also, when I was asleep, I dreamt that you kissed me. I know it sounds stupid and everything, but it seemed really real and…" she broke off as she saw Tai's face glowing a bright crimson. "You DID kiss me!" She said. "You did do it, didn't you?"**

****All: _(except Tai and Sora, singing)_ Looooooooooove is a many-splendored thing...

_(Tai and Sora merely fume silently.)_

**"Look Sora, I didn't think. I'm really sorry--" He was cut off as Sora flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. Out of surprise, he resisted, then when he realized what was happening, kissed back. **

****Matt: Whoo-hoo! Snootchie-nootchie!

Joe: _(elbows Tai)_ You wild thang, you!

Tai: _(very calmly)_ Sora, would it be okay if I beat up Joe?

Sora: Hmmm...well, maybe just a little.

Tai: Good. Thank you. _(He pounces on Joe and the sounds of a hearty pummeling are heard, interspersed with protests and yelps of pain from Joe.)_

**After she broke off the kiss, Sora looked at him. "I was going to say that I enjoyed the dream."**

**"Oh."**

**A muffled laugh came from behind them.**

****Izzy: Muahaha.

**They both spun around, and Tai pulled out a flashlight. He turned it on to reveal Jake crouched on the ground a few feet away. He had been listening to the entire conversation. "Why you…" Tai got up and started to walk over to Jake, who looked incredibly dismayed. **

****Sora: Okay, Tai, I think that's enough fighting for one day.

Tai: Awww, nuts... 

_(He climbs back into his seat. A few minutes later, Joe follows suit, looking thoroughly dishevelled.)_

Tai: _(to Joe)_ That made me feel better. Thanks, buddy.

Joe: ...no problem...

**Neither of them noticed the black hawk Digimon circling overhead, watching the two scuffle, with Sora trying to break it up.**

****Matt: What would you call JakexTai?

Tai: Don't. Even. Go there.

**The hawk suddenly flew off into the horizon.**

**A lone figure shrouded totally in black stood alone in a castle room.**

****Izzy: It was one of the local "Vampire: The Masquerade" LARPers.

**Footsteps echoed through the hallway and a large creature, which looked strangely like a more powerful and built up Ogremon stood at the doorway. After a long time, a woman's voice spoke from under her ebony cloak. "Yes, Goblinmon?"**

**Goblinmon sank to one knee**

****Sora: _(deep voice) _Bow to meeee!

**and presented her a parchment. "The latest reports from the spies, highness."**

**A slender hand somehow appeared from in the many folds of the robe and took the parchment. The woman read the document. "So Cybermon failed, the fool. I knew he was worthless.**

****Izzy: _(Evil Person)_ "He only had Windows95 and 8K of RAM. Bah!"

**And, apparently, the Digidestined have added another to their number. This news is not good, Goblinmon, do you understand?"**

**"I do, your highness." Goblinmon understood all too well that he could be killed for bringing her this bad news.**

****Matt: _(Goblinmon)_ "Hey, I'm just the messenger, lady."

**"Have the miners found the Crystal of Power yet?"**

**He shook his head. "No, they have not found it. Your highness…may I ask why finding that crystal is so important to you?" This was thin ice he was treading on. Not only could he be killed for bringing her even more bad news, but daring to ask such a personal question of her highness would be like asking her to kill him.**

****Izzy: Goblinmon, whatever you do, don't ask her age!

**Apparently, however, the woman was in a good mood. She laughed coldly. **

****TK: Brrrrr!

**"Because, Goblinmon, the ancient legends say that the Crystal of Power is the one thing which can defeat me. So if I can find it and destroy it before the Digidestined get a hold of it, I will be invulnerable!"**

****Kari: And we have "Villain Reveals Evil Plot" scene.

Izzy: It's about time.

**she laughed again, but stopped as **

****Sora: - she realised she hadn't gotten to the punchline of her joke yet.

**a plan occurred to her suddenly. Goblinmon waited for a long time as the woman worked out the details. Finally she spoke again. **

**"Goblinmon, get a squad of your fiercest warriors and have them report here. Tell them I will have special orders for them once they arrive. You are dismissed."**

****Tai: _(Evil Person)_ "Oh, and bring me some pudding."

**Goblinmon nodded and bowed again before walking out the door.**

**The woman waited until the footsteps faded into the distance. Then she smiled and threw back the hood of her cloak, revealing an exquisitely beautiful face yet bearing glowing red eyes, and fangs poking from her mouth. "When my plan is set into motion, the Digidestined will be doomed. For they shall pay for what they have done to Lord Devimon. And right before they die, they will know that all hope is lost, for nothing shall survive the wrath of the Dark Queen Tsunonrimon!" **

****Tai: And cue the evil laughter!

Mimi: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tai: G'ah! 

Mimi: Tee-hee. It's a girl thing.

_(The Blinky Light Thingy ™ begins blinking again. The kids stand up and file out of the theatre.)_

Matt: Time to go see what Fang-Face has in store for us.

Joe: _(sounding completely out of it)_ I hope it doesn't involve turtles...or pomegranates...or sporks.

Matt: I don't even wanna know.

PART THREE COMING SOON!

I don't own Digimon or anything associated with them. If I did, I probably wouldn't be sitting here in the college computer lab writing (and MiSTing) fanfics. "The Tsunonrimon Saga" belongs to 7 of 11, to whom I owe my thanks for being such a good sport about this. 

Thanks to all the folks at FanFiction.Net who reviewed the first part and clamored for Part II! Hope you enjoy this and all other future installments as much as you did the first one! Please R&R!

stinger

**He sat back against the wall and watched her beautiful face.**

/stinger


	3. The Tsunonrimon Saga, Part III by 7 of 1...

Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga—Part Three: Fallen Angels

Myotismon grinned deviously at the eight children standing before him. "I can see that simply reading fanfics isn't enough of a challenge for you brats," he began."Therefore, I have come up with a cunning plan that will force you to wrack your brains and push your mental capacities to their very limits!"

"Shouldn't take Tai very long to do that," Matt commented, crossing his arms and smirking.

"Shut it or I'll do a lot more than wrack your brains, Mousse," Tai snarled in response.

Izzy interrupted them, sounding somewhat interested. "And what might this challenge entail?" he asked Myotismon.

"I call it the Invention Exchange," the evil digimon replied, baring his fangs in a wicked grin. "Instead of reading the next segment of the story, you will use this time to come up with a suitably impressive creation which you shall then compare with an invention of my own."

"The point being?" Sora asked, wearing a puzzled and skeptical expression.

"There's no point, it's just fun!" DemiDevimon piped up, shrugging as best he could while remaining airborne.

"Silence!" Myotismon snarled. "There is a catch, Digi-Destined," he informed them. "Your invention not only has to impress me, it has to work. That way you can't simply cut some holes in a cardboard box and say that it's an interdimensional transporter or somesuch."

Tai slapped a hand to his goggled forehead. "Aw, man, there goes my idea!" he moaned.

Matt glared at him askance, "What a pity to lose such a brilliant concept."

"Maybe we should invent something that'll keep those two from fighting all the time," Sora suggested to Izzy in a whisper, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at Matt and Tai.

Myotismon resumed his tirade, ignoring the two squabbling boys and the fact that Izzy was entirely lost in thought, his ten-year-old mind working furiously at the prospect of this newest challenge. "Of course, I still need someone to torture in the theatre," he mused. "And that leads us to your puny digital companions..."

A door - one of which, up till this point, the children had been entirely unaware - slid open on a far wall, revealing eight small digimon, blinking confusedly in the torchlight. TK gave a squeal of glee and rushed over to greet Patamon; the other children followed him, going to their respective partners.

"Tai? What's going on?" Agumon asked, peering round the room.

"Oh, y'know, the ususal. Myostismon's torturing us with a fanfic and now he's making us come up with some cockamamie invention for a contest," Tai responded with a shrug.

"That old routine?" Gabumon marvelled.

Myotismon called for their attention. "This little reunion has gone on long enough. The human brats will stay here; you digimon will go into the theatre. DemiDevimon!"

"The Button! Right away, boss!" With great flourish, DemiDevimon pressed The Button, plunging the room into chaos once more.

"That's your cue, guys!" Sora called to the befuddled digimon, pointing towards the open theatre door. "You've got Fanfic Sign! Good luck!"

Following her directions, the eight monsters hurried into the theatre.

_____________________________________________________________________________

_(The digimon file in and look around the theatre for a moment before taking their seats. Due to their small size, it's difficult to see their silhouettes over the backs of the chairs, but they arrange themselves as follows, from left to right: Gatomon, Agumon, Patamon, Gomamon, Biyomon, Gabumon, Tentomon and Palmon.)_

Agumon: So we're just supposed to read a story and go, huh?

Patamon: I guess so. I hope TK will be all right without me.

** **

**Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga—Part Three: Fallen Angels**

****Biyomon: Coming this fall to NBC.

**Chapter One**

****Tentomon: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

**A dark tower rose into the night from the peak of a mountain. A single light burnt near the top, casting flickering shadows over the surrounding area. Without warning, five shadows flew off the building, silhouetted against the full moon. A loud, insane, cackling followed them.**

****Agumon: Fly! Fly, my pretties! Eh-heheheheheheh!

**The Digidestined were currently trudging through a shallow marsh. "I hate this!" complained Mimi, as she tried in vain to keep her clothes dry. "All this muck is disgusting!"**

****Palmon: Has she been visiting Tapestries again? She just keeps ignoring the warnings and grousing about it...

**"You won't get any argument from me on that one, Mimi." Muttered Matt.**

****Patamon: Tongue twisters are fun!

**"My shoes are so caked with mud right now that I can barely lift them!" The others nodded their assent.**

****Gomamon: 'Assent'...does that sound like a good thesaurus word to you guys?

Agumon: What's a thesaurus?

Gomamon: I dunno. Joe asked me to write down any good words I heard. He's keeping a list or something.

Gabumon: Hummm...'assent' sounds good to me.

Gomamon: Okay! _(He writes it down in Joe's notebook as best he can, being a creature with no opposable thumbs.)_

**"I'd complain too, except I'm too tired to complain!" said T.K. "And we can't even rest here, because there's no place to sit down!"**

****Patamon: It gets awful crowded in the cafeteria at lunch time.

**Izzy suddenly pointed through the mist shrouding the swamp. "Hey, look! **

****Gatomon: Look, Ma, there's a Denny's! There's a Denny's, Ma!

**There's some solid land!" Everyone looked where he was pointing, and sure enough, a bank of land rose out of the mud ahead. "We must be at the end of the marsh!"**

**As soon as they reached the bank, the group sat down, relieved. "I hope we're through the worst of it," Said Sora. "First Cybermon attacks us," she brought her left hand subconsciously to her left side,**

****Tentomon: Stimulus, response! Stimulus, response! Don't you ever *think*?

**where she had been injured by a Pulse Cannon blast during that battle. "Then, we have the mountains, the canyon, and now that marsh!" Sora ticked the ordeals off on her fingers as she recited them.**

****Palmon: By this point everybody else was pretty ticked off, too.

**The most recent additions to their group—Jake and Zegimon—looked at each other. **

****Gabumon: _(Jake, pointing at Agumon)_ "WAAAAUGH! Giant lizard!"

Agumon: _(Zegimon, pointing at Gabumon)_ "AAAAAAAAAHH! Hairless freak!"

**"We should be through it," answered Jake. "Zegimon's never been farther than this before, but he has pretty good vision, and he says its just straight forest from now on."**

****Gatomon: Not yaoi forest. Just wanted to be clear.

**Joe looked up from scraping the mud off his shoes to respond, but never got the chance. A gigantic battle-axe imbedded itself in a tree right above his head. "YAAAH!!!" he yelled in surprise and terror. A cruel laughing filled the area.**

****Biyomon: No-good frat boys and their stupid hazings!

**There was another 'whoosh' of air, and a grove of trees in front of the Digidestined was cleaved in half by another axe. Standing behind the trees was a gigantic Digimon, which kind of looked like Ogremon, just much more powerful and stronger. The new Digimon laughed again.**

****Gomamon: Somebody'd told him a really funny joke that morning, and he just couldn't stop thinking about it.

**Izzy immediately had his analyzer program up and running. "That's Goblinmon, Ogremon's fully Digivolved form! He's strong, and is an expert with his battle-axe! If you aren't careful, he'll really cut you down to size!"**

****Gomamon: Ba-da-BUMP!

Agumon: Did Nimpy co-write this part of the story?

**"He's mine!" shouted Zegimon. "Zegimon digivolve to…KAMOMON!" The immense lizard prepared for battle. "Flame…Agh!"**

****Gabumon: That's an unusual attack.

**Kamomon was hurled from his feet and tossed into the muck of the swamp, splashing the Digidestined with goop. **

****All: Wah-wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaahh!

**Where Kamomon had been attacked, the air started to ripple, and solidify. It formed into a Minotaur-like Digimon, who wore steel gloves on his hands. Izzy was soon at it again.**

****Biyomon: Izzy's a minotaur-like digimon?

**"Now you see him, now you don't! That's Invisomon! He can turn invisible at will, and his Drain Energy attack can leave anyone out like a light!" Invisomon snickered,**

****Gatomon: Goblinmon told him the joke he'd heard.

**and vanished once again in much the same way he had appeared.**

****Patamon: On a pogo stick.

**"I don't like this! **

****Palmon: I dunno, the story hasn't been too bad so far.

**Gabumon digivolve to…GARURUMON!" Garurumon leaped into the air at Goblinmon. "Howling Blaster!" Goblinmon awaited the attack calmly, then dispersed the energy harmlessly with a swipe from his axe. **

**Suddenly, Garurumon was wrapped up in a spray of thread. A spider Digimon crawled out of the forest, drawing a scream from Mimi.**

****Gabumon: _(spider)_ "Hold still, Mimi! How am I supposed to draw you screaming if you keep jumping around like that?"

**"I hate spiders!"**

**"That's Arachnomon! This spider isn't the type you can squash under your heel, it has an armored carapace that is as strong as titanium!" Supplied Izzy.**

****Gomamon: 'Carapace'...how do you spell that?

Palmon: Um...K-A-R...uh...'pace'.

Gomamon: Right. Got it. _(scribbles in his notepad)_

**Before any of the Digimon could digivolve again, another Digimon appeared besides Arachnomon. It looked like a three-headed dog,**

****Agumon: Wait - what's a dog?

Gomamon: I dunno. Sounds like a thesaurus word to me! _(scribbles) _

** **

**each head looking at the Digidestined hungrily, as if contemplating which would make the best meal.**

****Gatomon: I bet Joe tastes like chicken! Hee hee.

Patamon: Oh, that's just mean.

**"Cerebrus was the guardian of the underworld in Greek mythology, and Cerebrusmon fits the description perfectly! His attack, Wrath of Hades, is one of the most powerful attacks in existence!"**

****Agumon: Nowhere near as powerful as "Sissy Slap", though.

****

**Kamomon, still dripping mud, lined up next to Garurumon, who had clawed free of the string. The two Champions**

****All: _(singing) _Weeeee are the champions, my fri-end...

Gatomon:Well, *I'm* the Champion, anyway.

Others:Feh.

**leapt into the air at the three-headed Digimon. A small blur, however, shot in from apparently no where and kicked Kamomon in the nose,**

****Palmon: Honk! 

**knocking him down, then rebounded to land on Garurumon's back. Both of the larger Digimon fell to the ground. The blur resolved itself into a little man, dressed entirely in green, and wearing a little top hat.**

****Gabumon: Good heavens, it's Mxyzptlkmon!

**"If you catch one of Leprechaunmon's four-leaf clovers, don't think you're lucky! They have razor edges, and he can throw them like knives!"**

****Gatomon: _(Izzy)_ "The only way to get rid of him is by tricking him into saying his name backwards twice."

**The little elf grinned sadistically at Izzy, and as if spurred by his words, threw a trio of deadly shamrocks right at Tai and Sora, who narrowly missed getting hit.**

****All: _(singing)_ New deadly Lucky Charms - they're tragically delicious!

**Jake looked at the four Digimon he could see, and randomly guessed about where Invisomon was.**

****Gomamon: _(Jake)_ "Right behind Tai! Aim at his head!"

**"Come on, we can beat them, they aren't that hard!"**

**"Patamon digivolve to…ANGEMON!"**

****All: _(singing)_ Tsukame! Egaita yume wo...

**"Agumon digivolve to…GREYMON!"**

****

****All: _(singing)_ Mamore! Dajii na tomo wo...

**"Biyomon digivolve to…BIRDRAMON!"**

****All: _(yup, still singing)_ Takumashii jibun ni nareru sa...

**"Gomamon digivolve to…IKKAKUMON!"**

****All: _(still singing)_ Shiranai pawaa ga yadoru haato ni hi ga tsuitara…

**"Palmon digivolve to…TOGEMON!"**

****All: _(same as above)_ Donna negai mo uso ja nai...

**"Gatomon digivolve to…ANGEWOMON!"**

****

****All: _(singing, still)_ Kitto kanau kara...show me your brave heart!

**"Garurumon digivolve to…WEREGARURUMON!"**

****Agumon: Aww, we ran out of verses.

Gabumon: Oh pooh.

**"Kamomon digivolve to…METALKAMOMON!"**

**The Digidestined got ready to fight. "Needle Spray!" yelled Togemon, trying to score a hit on Arachnomon.**

****Patamon: B 6!

Gabumon: Direct hit. You sunk my battleship!

**Arachnomon had other ideas, however. "Mandible Slash!" it chirped, and closed its jaws around the walking cactus, which cried out in pain.**

**"I'll help you! Celestial Arrow!" Angewomon pulled back her bowstring and released an arrow straight into Arachnomon's heart. The spider screamed in agony and dissolved into dust.**

****Gatomon: _(singing)_ Another one bites the dust!

**"Hey! One shot from Angewomon's Arrow and we defeat an Ultimate stage Digimon! We really are getting stronger!" exclaimed Tai.**

****Biyomon: Proof that Super Bulk-Up Formula really does work wonders.

**"Wrath of Hades!" yelled one of Cerebrusmon's heads, Izzy couldn't tell which. A ring of fire suddenly appeared around the whole group, enclosing them in. The ring extended as far as they could see in the sky. The ring started to contract.**

****Agumon: This is almost as exciting as "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"!

**Kabuterimon flew up into the air. "Oh no you don't! Electro shocker!" the ball of electricity hit Cerebrusmon dead on, not doing any real damage, but stunning him enough to stop the attack.**

**Goblinmon leapt at Greymon, his battle-axe missing by inches and splitting a rock in two. "Don't forget the orders Tsunonrimon gave us!" the monster yelled.**

****Gomamon: _(Goblinmon)_ "And remember that we were supposed to keep her existence a secret until it's too late. D'oh!"

**A ghostly voice echoed through the forest.**

****Biyomon: _(eerily) _Oooooo...ooooooooooooo!

Patamon: Could you repeat that, ma'am?

Agumon: _(Irish accent) _Bah, ignore her. You won't get anything out of her, unless it's spooky wind noises you're after.

**"Right! Drain Energy!" Ripples emanated from no particular spot, and all of the Digidestined felt themselves growing much weaker. It wasn't long before every single one of them was asleep.**

****Tentomon: Invisomon attacks by playing Yanni CDs at top volume.

**The group finally woke up to T.K. screaming.**

****All: Yaaaaaaahh!

**"What is it, little guy?" asked Matt, concerned.**

****Gatomon: _(TK)_ "Charlie horse! It hurts, darnit, it HURTS!"

**"The Digimon took…they took Angemon and Angewomon!" This got a gasp from everyone, as they looked around. The two angels were indeed gone!**

****All: Bum bum BUMMMMMM!!!

** **

**Chapter Two**

**"Calm down, T.K., Kari." Reassured Sora. "I'm sure we'll find Angemon and Angewomon soon."**

****Palmon: _(Sora)_ "I'm fairly certain they aren't being held captive somewhere and tortured mercilessly by some obscenely powerful unknown enemy. Don't worry."

**She looked over at where Izzy was typing furiously at his laptop. "What are you doing, Izzy?"**

****Gomamon: _(Izzy)_ "Let's see, www.hotchicks.com...uh, sorry, what were you saying?"

**Izzy's eyes never left the screen for a second. "Each Digimon has an individual stream of data, which varies from Digimon to Digimon—much like DNA in humans. By searching for specific groupings of data—in this case a group of a Goblinmon, a Leprechaunmon, an Invisomon, a Cerebrusmon, and Angemon and Angewomon, we should be able to track…**

Tentomon: Oh, you can not. Now he's just making stuff up.

**Got it!" his laptop beeped. All of the Digidestined clustered around the computer whiz. The screen showed an overview of the entire Digital World, as if from an airplane, and slowly zoomed in on individual sections, until it was focused on a dark, gloomy, fortress.**

****Palmon: How come villains never live in bright, cheery condos or homey cottages or something?

Patamon: They all have the same real estate agent.

**"Angewomon and Angemon are being held here."**

**"So what are we waiting for?" Asked Jake. "Let's go get them!"**

**"Wait!" shouted Gabumon. "Remember, Goblinmon said something about orders from somebody called Tsunonrimon. Who's he?" **

****Agumon: I think we can assume he's someone bad.

**No one had an answer. "Well, I guess we can suppose that they all work for him, whoever he is." Said Matt. "The question is, are we powerful enough to take him on, whoever he is?" **

**"Well, we're going to find out." Answered Sora. "One way or another."**

****Tentomon: _(Sora)_ "And possibly die in the process. Won't that be fun?"

**Angewomon had no idea where she was. The last thing she remembered was dueling with Cerebrusmon, then the attack from Invisomon and…her head hurt. **

****Biyomon: _(Angewomon)_ "Thinking is hard!"

**When she had gathered enough of her wits to examine the situation,**

****Gabumon: Her wits having been scattered willy-nilly around the castle.

**she looked around. She was lying on some sort of rack, unable to move, yet she didn't see any wires or chains holding her.**

****Gatomon: I have a bad feeling...

**Across the room, Angemon was bound to a similar structure. He, too, was just coming around. **

**Angewomon started to wonder about the attack that had hit her. It was a most curious effect. It had drained her energy and her will to fight; yet apparently had not physically drained her power, because she was still Angewomon. If she had been robbed of her power, she would have deDigivolved back to Gatomon, or maybe Salamon. **

****Agumon: Or possibly even FluffyBunnyMon.

**"It's no use pretending to be unconscious further, I can see you are awake." Angemon jerked her head to the side,**

****Palmon: Whoa! Somebody underwent a sudden sex change.

**noticing the third figure in the room for the first time. It wasn't hard to see why she had missed seeing the person in the first place, as the woman was draped in a black cloak which blended in perfectly with their surroundings.**

****Patamon: She should put some reflective tape on her clothes or something; she might get hit by a car while she's wandering around at night.

**"Who…are you?" whispered Angewomon.**

****Gabumon: I'm Batmon!

**"Who am I?" the woman laughed coldly. **

****Gomamon: You mean you don't know either?

Agumon: She must have amnesia. Quick, hit her on the head! That always helps restore someone's memory!

**"I am the future ruler of the entire realm of both the Digital World and the Human World. I am your future master. I am that who will destroy the Digidestined once and for all.**

****Gatomon: I am someone with dissociative personality disorder, apparently.

**I am," she seemed to hunger for this line. "The Dark Queen Tsunonrimon!"**

****All: _(gasp melodramatically)_

**"And you hold a grudge against the Digidestined why?" asked Angemon, struggling to move against his invisible bonds.**

**"Oh, don't try and struggle, it's quite useless. You are being held to the table by pure Dark Magic, even a holy warrior such as yourself is powerless against this magnitude of evil."**

****Gomamon: Hmm...'magnitude.' _(scribbles)_

**She walked over to Angemon, and lifted his chin, seeming to stare straight through his faceplate. "You want to know why I hate the Digidestined so? I shall tell you then." Tsunonrimon pulled back the cloak of her hood, revealing a face so exquisite**

****Gomamon: _(scribbles)_

**that it could have been chiseled**

****Gomamon: _(scribbles)_

**out of stone. Yet among her beauty was a malignant**

****Gomamon: _(scribbles)_

**aura of evil, which distorted her image**

****Gomamon: _(scribbles)_

Agumon: Gomamon, slow down, buddy.

Gabumon: You're running out of paper. We've still got half of the story to go through.

Gomamon: I'm just trying to be comprehensive. Oooh, that's a good word! _(scribbles)_

**into that of something unholy and terrible. "They destroyed my mentor and father, the Lord Devimon. And for that, they shall pay with their lives."**

**Angemon looked at her defiantly. "You mean _I_ destroyed Devimon.**

****Agumon: _(pokes Patamon)_ You glory-hog, you.

Patamon: Hey!

**He was pathetically weak. If you are anything like your father was, the Digidestined shall defeat you easily."**

**Tsunonrimon just smiled, refusing to be goaded.**

****Palmon: Goad goad goad.

**"So it was you who dealt the mortal blow to Lord Devimon? Oh, then my plan is even more ironic! This will be so much fun to watch the Digidestined die at my hands!"**

**Angewomon looked at her.**

****Gatomon: Your cloak clashes with your shoes.

**"What exactly is your plan? What do you want us for?"**

**"The mighty Lord Devimon, as well as being my father, was also my tutor and mentor."**

****Tentomon: As was previously mentioned.

**Tsunonrimon removed her obsidian gloves, and her pale hands shone in the dim light. "His one weakness was that he learned no real offensive techniques, but I have corrected that. However, he did spend time teaching me his personal favorite technique."**

****Biyomon: _(ominously)_ The overhand loop stitch.

**Her hands started to glow a dark black, as she walked to the two angels. She pushed the two frames together with a clang. "And now, I shall use it on you two." Tsunonrimon raised her hands. "Fitting, isn't it. Touch of…"**

****Patamon: SATAN? _(giggles insanely)_

**The wall suddenly tumbled in, courtesy of MetalGreymon.**

****Agumon: Hey, cool! After we save the Digiworld, we could go into demolitions! We'd make millions!

**The rest of the Digidestined and their Digimon all followed. T.K. saw Angemon strapped to a wire frame, some lady with her hands on both Angemon's and Angewomon's**

****Tentomon: Ugh. Is this going to turn into one of *those* fanfics?

Gatomon: Oh, for pity's sake, they're not all bad.

**shoulders. "Angemon!"**

**Jake stood in front of T.K. "Give Angemon and Angewomon back now! Or else get ready to fight us!"**

****Palmon: Can't we just challenge her to a game of ping-pong instead?

**The woman looked at the Digidestined with an air of contempt. "But of course." She waved her hand and both the angels tumbled to the floor. **

**T.K. and Kari ran over to their Digimon, to check if they were okay. **

**Tai looked at Jake, then at Matt. "I don't like this." He said at last. "This was too easy. What is she up to?"**

****Gomamon: About five-foot-ten! Ha ha!

**Kari hugged Angewomon. "I'm so glad you're okay, Angewomon! Angewomon?" Kari looked up at her partner, surprised that she wasn't responding.**

****Gabumon: Maybe she's not plugged in.

**Angewomon was looking down at Kari with an eerie aura of stillness around her. "Angewomon? What's wrong?"**

****Biyomon: _(Angewomon)_ "You borrowed my favourite blouse without asking. You know how I hate that."

**The woman laughed. "Oh, but I forgot to mention one teensy little bit of information. Angemon and Angewomon are working for Queen Tsunonrimon now!"**

****All: D'oh!

**T.K. looked at Angemon in horror, and slowly backed away. "Angemon! What did she do to you?"**

****Patamon: She gave me an awesome payment package with health and dental! Muahahaha!

**"I merely gave him a future, little boy. And now, as a test of their loyalty to me…Angemon! Angewomon! Get your Digidestined**

****Gomamon: Get 'em while they're hot! Get yer Digidestined right here!

**and bring them with me!" Tsunonrimon commanded.**

**The angels did what they were told. Angewomon held Kari tightly, refusing to let go, even when Kari kicked her. Still holding their partners, the angels walked back to Tsunonrimon.**

**"Kari!" shouted Tai, who jumped at Tsunonrimon.**

****Gatomon: Yeah, that always works.

**The Dark Queen waved her hand, and Tai froze in midair, unable to move.**

****Palmon: I'll bet she did all the special effects for "Lost in Space".

Tentomon: Well, her "Touch of Evil" would explain a lot about that movie.

**"Do not try my patience, child." Tsunonrimon warned. "These two Digidestined and their Digimon partners belong to me now!"**

****Gabumon: _(Tsunonrimon)_ "See, I wrote my name on the underside of their shoes. 'Tsu-no-n-ri-mon.' So there."

**She started to back away, and leapt into the air. A sphere of energy started to coalesce in the palm of her hand as she floated there. "Black Magic!" **

****Agumon: _(singing)_ She's a black magic woman...

**Tsunonrimon hurled the ball at the seven remaining Digidestined. The ball exploded before it reached them,**

****Biyomon: Foom!

**pummeling everyone with dark energy. The stone walls of the tower started to crumble.**

**Tsunonrimon turned her back on the destruction she was wreaking. "Come, Angemon, Angewomon!" Still holding their Digidestined, the angels floated into the air beside her, and the trio flew over the horizon. **

**"Matt!" yelled T.K., struggling to escape Angemon's iron grip.**

**"Tai!" shouted Kari, who was pummeling her ex-partner with her fists. "Help us!"**

**"T.K./Kari!"**

****Gomamon: Well, which is it? Make up your head!

**cried both Tai and Matt, when they recovered enough from the pain that was tormenting them. But it was too late; both of them were gone.**

**"No!" yelled Matt. "We've got to go after them!" **

**Mimi weakly sat up and adjusted her hat. "But how, Matt? I don't think any of us can even move a muscle!" Matt turned, and his heart sank. All of the Digimon had reverted back to their Rookie forms, and they looked too tired to Digivolve. The same appeared to be true of the Digidestined.**

****Gabumon: The Digidestined can digivolve? Since when?

Tentomon: Must be a new plot twist to hike up the ratings.

**Jake got to his feet. "Okay, lets think about this logically and rationally." **

**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOGICALLY?" bellowed Tai. "THEY TOOK MY SISTER!" **

**"Hey, hey!" Jake backed away from Tai. "I mean, lets look at the situation. Tsunonrimon apparently has Angewomon and Angemon on her side,**

****Gatomon: Duh.****

**and they've taken T.K. and Kari.**

****Gatomon: Duuuuuhhh.

**Our Digimon are all in their Rookie forms, and I doubt any of them have the energy to digivolve."**

****Gatomon: Duuuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuhhhhh.

Gabumon: Jake has a death grip on the obvious.

**There was a murmur of assent from all the Digimon at this. "However, we do know the general direction in which Tsunonrimon is taking your sister, Tai, **

****Biyomon: Wait! Who's got a sister named Tai?

Tentomon: More plot twists! What will those writers think of next?

**and your brother, Matt." He pointed over the horizon where the group had disappeared. **

**Jake paced back and forth as he spoke. "Apparently, Tsunonrimon is incredibly powerful, right, Izzy?"**

****All: Duuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh!

**Izzy nodded. "Her power level is read as higher than that of a Mega Digimon. Whatever she is, none of our Digimon can take her on**

****Gomamon: A date?

**alone."**

**"Anyway, it's a given that we need to send a search party. The question is, who can go? Sora, it is obvious that with your still-healing injury, you can't." Sora looked crestfallen,**

****Biyomon: _(Sora)_ "Oh, boo hoo. I can't place myself in life-threatening peril to save the two most annoying members of our team."

Gatomon: _(lashing her tail angrily)_ Look who's talking, you pink feather duster.

**but she apparently understood why she couldn't go on the rescue. "We can't leave her here alone, though. So some of us have to stay." He sat down.**

****Agumon: _(Jake)_ "I'll stay, since I'm a wuss."

Biyomon: _(to Gatomon)_ What are you saying? Are you implying that *I'm* annoying?

Gatomon: Well, if the flea collar fits...

**"Zegimon, Agumon, and Gabumon are the only Digimon in our party that have reached their Mega stage yet. So if we are going to stand a chance against Tsunonrimon, we need all of us there, and besides which, she has your siblings. As for the fourth member of our group, we need a Digimon that can fly, as Kamomon can only carry so much weight. So I propose that Matt, Tai, Mimi, and myself go rescue T.K. and Kari, while Joe, Izzy, and Sora stay behind."**

****Tentomon: Wait! Why would they take Palmon with them? Wouldn't I be able to carry more passengers?

Palmon: Oh, so you're saying that I'm useless, is that it?!

Tentomon: No, I - oh, pineapples.

Biyomon: _(still arguing with Gatomon)_ I am not annoying! You're just...um...still evil!

Gatomon: Oh, come *on*. Remember your little "Sora's fishing" song? That had to be one of the most annoying things I've ever heard!

**Neither of the three being left behind looked too happy about these arrangements, but everyone agreed. **

**"I don't think I can digivolve now," said Zegimon. "I'm still worn out."**

**"It's okay," assured Jake. "My plan is that we hike a while and wait for you guys to regain your energy, then you Digivolve and take us to Tsunonrimon. Any other suggestions?" There were none.**

****Gomamon: I suggest we order tacos!

Biyomon: I suggest that me and Fuzz-Face here settle this argument once and for all!

Gatomon: Just name the time and place, birdie.

Palmon: _(to Tentomon)_ At least I don't evolve into a gigantic dung beetle!

Tentomon: Hey! That's going too far, you weed!

**"So what are we waiting for?" asked Matt, impatient. "Let's get moving!"**

**The three staying behind bid good luck to the search party, and Matt, Mimi, Jake, and Tai hiked off into the growing darkness.**

****Biyomon: "Just name the time and place," huh? Well, how about here and now! _(She flutters into the air.)_ Spiral Twister! RRRAAHH!

Gatomon: Fine by me! Lightning Claw! _(She leaps up and slashes the air wildly, negating Biyomon's attack.)_

**__**Tentomon: _(to Palmon)_ Take *this*! _(He pokes her in the side with one of his claws.)_

__Palmon: Ow! Hey! Let's see how *you* like it! _(She pokes him back. Soon the two are engaged in a vicious poking fight.)_

**Chapter Three**

**"Let me go, you old hag!" Kari struggled against the invisible ropes tying her down.**

**"Oh, its quite useless to resist. Besides, it won't matter in a short time." Tsunonrimon removed her gloves and stared out a window at the mining quarry below her palace. "If you want to be let go, just ask." She imperceptibly flicked her wrist, and T.K. and Kari could suddenly move again. **

****_(Agumon, Gabumon, Patamon and Gomamon look around at their companions. Tentomon and Palmon are still poking each other, and Biyomon and Gatomon are exchanging attacks and insults.)_

Patamon: Everyone else is fighting. I feel left out.

Gomamon: Oh. Well, uh, you're really...orange-y.

Patamon: Oh yeah? Well, you have...um...fish breath!

Gomamon: Is that so? Well, you couldn't digivolve to save your life!

Patamon: _(sulkily)_ That's 'cause I'm special. And your attack is useless! And slimy! But mostly *useless*!

****Gomamon: Why you - ! _(He swats at Patamon, who flutters out of reach and continues to taunt him.)_

**Both of them climbed to their feet. "Why do you want to hurt us so badly, anyway?" asked Kari.**

**"You know, your partner asked that very same question. The fact is, that you Digidestined killed my mentor and father, the Lord Devimon. And for that, you will all die." Tsunonrimon said rather matter-of-factly.**

****Gabumon: _(trying to ignore the chaos around him)_ Thank you for, uh, for restating the obvious...

Agumon: Ah-ha! An insult! Prepare to die! _(He leaps at Gabumon, and the two proceed to wrassle rather half-heartedly.)_

**T.K. looked at Tsunonrimon in disbelief. "You hate us for that? But that was over…" He tried to remember how long it had been, but all the days in the Digiworld just seemed to blend together. "A long time ago." He finally concluded. "Why did you wait all this time?"**

****_(The digimon continue to fight, temporarily ignoring the story.)_

**Tsunonrimon smirked. "I believe it was one of your human philosophers who said, 'Revenge is a dish best served cold.' And that is unbelievably true."**

****Tentomon: _(pausing in his poking match)_ What? How could she know about human philosophers? That doesn't make any sense!

Palmon: _(returning her attention to the story)_ Well, maybe she heard about it on cable or...oh, I dunno. Hey, weren't we fighting?

Tentomon: Um...maybe. What were we fighting about?

Biyomon: _(drifting down to her seat)_ I can't remember either. And my wings are getting tired.

Gatomon: Humph. Well, I never wanted to fight with you, anyway. _(She resumes her seat and proceeds to lick one paw, acting utterly disinterested.)_

__

**Kari didn't know what they were talking about. Oh sure, she had heard stories from the others, but that was like reading a book or watching something on TV. It didn't seem that real to her. However, she decided to try and bluff Tsunonrimon. "And Devimon was pathetically weak! We beat him easily! You shouldn't be that hard, if your…_father_," she practically spit out the word. "Was that powerless against the Digidestined!"**

****Gomamon: _(to Patamon)_ I'm sorry I said you were orange-y.

Patamon: And I'm sorry I said your attack was slimy. _(He settles down and continues to read the fanfic.)_

__Biyomon: _(pointing to Agumon and Gabumon)_ What are they fighting about?

Agumon: He insulted the story! For that he must die! 

Gomamon: But we're all insulting the story. Even you.

Agumon: Bwuh - ? Oh, that's right. Sorry, Gabumon.

Gabumon: No problem. Sometimes you need to get these things out in the open.

Biyomon: I feel at peace with the world.

**Tsunonrimon's whirled around faster than Kari would have thought possible, and backhanded her across the cheek. **

****Gomamon: Whoa! Catfight!

Gatomon: What's that supposed to mean?

Palmon: Oh, give it a rest.

**Kari's world spun as she was thrown across the room. "Kari!" shouted T.K., running over to Tsunonrimon, and kicking her in the shin as hard as he could.**

****Agumon: Yeah, that's showing her, TK.

**"You hurt Kari!" he shouted, and brought his foot back to kick her again, **

****Tentomon: _(TK)_ "I'll give you such a *pinch*!"

**but he was suddenly lifted off his feet as she grabbed him and threw him into a wall. He sank to the floor.**

**With T.K. out of the way, Tsunonrimon stalked over to Kari. "How DARE you!" she hissed, and brought her hand back up. However, before hitting Kari again, she stopped, and a wicked smile grew on her face. "Angemon," she commanded. "Come here and teach this impertinent brat a lesson!"**

****Gabumon: _(Angemon)_ "Very well. Two plus two is five...I mean, three...uh, I before E except after X...oh poopie."

**Angemon silently walked over to Tsunonrimon and Kari. "As you order, my queen." He brought his staff up above his head, and then whipped it back down in a blow to Kari's side. She cried out in pain.**

****Palmon: I call foul! That's way outta line!

**The recovering T.K. looked at his partner in horror. "Angemon!"**

****Biyomon: _(TK)_ "What's gotten into you? No more 'Power Rangers' after school for you!"

**Tears welled up in Kari's eyes, more from the pain of being betrayed than the excruciating pain of being hit with Angemon's staff. Tsunonrimon threw back her head and laughed coldly.**

****Patamon: - because that's what all good villains do.

**Sora looked into the small fire that the three of them had built.**

****Palmon: _(Sora)_ "I see a slow, lingering death for everyone but me...I shall retire and live in Bermuda."

**"I wonder where the others are, and how they are doing?" She sighed. "It kind of hurts to not know what is happening to your friends, don't you agree?" Izzy and Joe nodded.**

****Gomamon: _(Izzy/Joe)_ "Yeah, uh-huh, sure, whatever."

**"Well, I think that if we don't hear from them by morning, we should follow them. That way, if they are in trouble, we can help, but we are listening to the others for now." Said Joe.**

**"Why, Joe, is that an actual thought of your own?" kidded Izzy. "I'm surprised!"**

****Agumon: _(Joe)_ "Why, Izzy, is this my fist headed for your face?"

**Sora smiled at this, but inwardly, she wondered where Tai was, if he was all right. 'I hope he's okay…' she thought.**

**At this moment, Tai and the others were coming up on Tsunonrimon's palace, riding on Kamomon's back. "Look over there!" shouted Mimi, pointing with one hand and holding onto her hat with the other. "Do you think that's where they are?" she asked.**

****Biyomon: That dark, spooky place with the air of evil and villainy about it? Probably.

**"It's worth a try!" Matt yelled back.**

****Gabumon: _(Kamomon)_ "Stop yelling in my ear!"

**Suddenly, hordes of Digimon boiled out of the windows of the palace and flew towards the Digidestined, and they didn't look friendly. "I'd say this is the place!" said Palmon. "Let's go!"**

**"Palmon digivolve to…TOGEMON!! Digivolve to…LILLYMON!" Lillymon leveled her Flower Cannon and knocked several of the attackers out of the sky.**

****Tentomon: And her good deed was twofold, as some time later one of the evil digimon's bodies landed on top of a mugger holding up an old lady.

**"Gabumon warp digivolve to…METALGARURUMON!" The metal Digimon froze a whole section of the approaching Digimon with the Ice Wolf Claw attack.**

****Gomamon: They'll stay nice and fresh for thousands of years.

**"Agumon warp digivolve to…WARGREYMON!" WarGreymon spun around and ripped even more of Tsunonrimon's henchmen to shreds with his claws.**

****Gatomon: Oooh! That's gotta hurt.

**"My turn! Kamomon warp digivolve to…DRAGOMON!" Dragomon activated his Wing Shield and plowed through the steadily shrinking cloud unharmed. Now through the first line of defense, the Digimon prepared themselves for battle.**

****_(The Blinky Light Thingy ™ begins flashing, startling the eight digimon.)_

Biyomon: What's that?

Agumon: I think it means the story is over. _(He stands up to leave, the others quickly following suit.)_

__Gomamon: Joe's gonna be so pleased with all the words I added to his list.

Palmon: I wonder how they're coming with their invention?

Patamon: Maybe they'll let us help them with it.

Tentomon: Or maybe they'll want to use us as test subjects. Sometimes Izzy gets the most chilling look in his eye when he stares at me...

_____________________________________________________________________________

Kari looked up as the theatre door slid open. "Gatomon! You're alive! You made it!"

Gatomon purred smugly. "It was almost too easy."

"Nothing we couldn't all handle together!" Agumon agreed, placing one claw on Gabumon's shoulder in a friendly gesture.

Sora smiled at that, then turned to Tai and Matt, who were still scowling at each other. "You see, guys? The digimon get along just great! You never see *them* fighting, do you?"

The two boys muttered noncommittally, watching Izzy put the finishing touches on their invention.

"So what did you come up with?" Palmon asked, peering at it curiously.

Izzy gave the strange device one final tweak, then turned to the digimon. "It's a complex neurocranial device built from loose ends that can be found lying around any spooky castle," he told them, folding his hands behind his back. "Of course, I won't know for sure that it works until we test it for Myotismon."

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Joe wondered, fidgeting nervously.

"You rang?" Myostimon intoned, his deep laugh ringing throughout the corridors of the castle.

"We finished our invention thingamajimmy!" Mimi announced, in her irritating, high-pitched little girl voice. "Well, actually, Izzy did most of the work, I wanted to help with it but he just said 'No, no, no, you'll only break it' and told me to go paint my nails or something, which was a silly suggestion because I don't have *any* nail polish with me *at all*..."

Mytosimon recoiled, drawing his cloak around him. "Gaaaahh! Silence, impudent wench! By the gods, the sound of her voice alone would be enough to bring the Dark Masters to their knees!" he growled to DemiDevimon, who shuddered in agreement.

"At least you don't have to travel with her," Izzy muttered darkly, removing his hands from his ears. Regaining his composure, he gestured towards the machine resting nearby. "I call it Jingle-B-Gone 2000," he said, rather grandly. "It's guaranteed to remedy that age-old affliction of having an annoying song stuck in one's head for hours on end."

"An interesting premise," Myotismon granted. "But does it work?"

"Of course," Izzy replied without hesitation. "Perhaps you'd like a demonstration. Tai, would you care to volunteer?"

"Sure!" their poofy-haired leader agreed blithely, stepping forward.

"I knew you would," Izzy smiled. "Now, Tai, would you happen to have some sort of tune stuck in your head?"

Tai scrunched up his face in thought. "Now you mention it, I do. I think it's something by the Spice Girls."

Izzy nodded, "And how does that make you feel? Does it just keep coursing through your head over and over again, refusing to leave no matter how hard you try? Is it slowly driving you mad, chipping away at your already tenuous hold to sanity? Do you feel like that song is the only thing you've known, like it's the only thing in the universe that truly exists, eclipsing all other facets of - "

"YES!" Tai screamed, seizing ahold of the front of Izzy's shirt. "IT'S MAKING ME CRAZY! IT HURTS, IZZY, IT *HURTS*!"

"Wonderful!" Izzy exclaimed, extracting himself from Tai's grip. "Fortunately for you, I have just the thing to cure this condition." He picked up a curiously-shaped headpiece that resembled nothing so much as a glorified bicycle helmet with wires streaming out of it from countless locations across its surface. Izzy handed it to Tai. "Put this on."

Tai complied, somehow cramming his hair underneath the helmet, and watched as Izzy knelt by a box-like component to which the helmet's numerous wires were attached. "With the flip of a switch, the Jingle-B-Gone will scramble certain brain waves within your cranium and in effect erase all knowledge of the song stuck in your head, thereby ridding you of its diabolic presence forever! It's so simple, even Mimi could operate it!"

"Ooooh, can I?" Mimi asked, and before anyone could stop her, the pink-clad girl had darted forward and flipped the switch.

There was an enormous puff of smoke and a flash of light, accompanied by a shower of sparks from the Jingle-B-Gone. The children and digimon coughed, trying with some success to wave the smoke away from their faces. Tentomon finally obliged by fanning his wings, clearing the room but for a few lingering wisps. 

Tai was standing stock-still, the smoldering helmet still on his head and a blank expression on his face. Izzy stood on tip-toe and tentatively waved a hand in front of his eyes, eliciting no response. "Uh boy," he muttered.

Sora grabbed the helmet and gave it a tug. "It's stuck!" she cried, sounding alarmed. "Matt, give me a hand with this."

The two finally managed to pry the helmet off Tai's noggin, revealing bushy hair that seemed to have suffered no lasting damage from its confinement and electrocution. "Mimi, what did you *do*?!" Joe yelled, staring in dismay at Tai's catatonic state.

"Me! It was Izzy's stupid whatchamacallit," Mimi insisted, turning away and folding her arms in front of her chest, deeply wounded.

Sora grabbed Tai by the shoulders and gave him a hard shake. "Tai! Snap out of it, c'mon!"

The boy remained unresponsive for several moments, then blinked slowly and gazed at Sora with wide-eyed curiosity. "Spork?" he queried.

Sora blinked back. "I beg your pardon?"

"Spork!" Tai affirmed happily, grinning. He then turned to Matt, staring at the blond boy for a few minutes. "Binky," he said finally, wrapping his arms about him.

Matt regarded his companion with horror. "Get him offa me!"

Myotismon cackled in grim satisfaction. "Pathetic children! Your device not only failed, it managed to accomplish what my own machinations have not - you have rendered one of your own a witless vegetable!" He laughed evilly once more for good measure.

"Hey!" Izzy protested, insulted at this affront to the fruits of his genius. "It did too work! Tai, you don't have that song going through your head anymore, right?"

Tai turned away from Matt for a minute to contemplate Izzy's request. "Baka!" he hissed, burying his face in Matt's shirt. 

"I'll take that as a 'no'," Izzy said, folding his arms across his chest and throwing a self-satisfied grin at Myotismon.

"And even better, Tai and Matt aren't fighting anymore!" Agumon pointed out. "Izzy, you're a genius!"

"Well...I know." Izzy tried to look modest, without much success.

Matt looked extremely pained. "Could you guys please *do* something about him?" he pleaded, a blush staining his cheeks as he glared down at Tai, who was appeared to have dozed off with a look of bliss upon his features.

Myotismon, on the other hand, glowered at them all darkly. "Curse you, Digi-Destined!" he growled. "Someday I *will* break you! Someday - !" He cut off the transmission abruptly, the screen dying with a FWOOSH.

"Hey, what about your invention?" TK shouted after him, belatedly.

Kari turned to Izzy with worried eyes. "You can fix Tai, can't you?"

Izzy ran his hands through his spiky red hair. "I hope so. Although it is rather nice to not have to listen to him and Matt fighting all the time..."

"My arms are falling asleep!" Matt yelled. 

Sora stood back to stand by Joe, watching the goings-on with mixed amusement and dismay. "This really doesn't solve anything," she admitted. "You realise that, don't you, Joe?"

The older boy stared warily back at her with narrowed eyes. "Spork," he said accusingly.

The eight digimon exchanged puzzled looks. "I don't even want to know," Gomamon said.

_____________________________________________________________________________

PART FOUR COMING AT SOME POINT IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

DISCLAIMER: If I owned "Digimon", I'd probably be a middle-aged Japanese businessman with a private jet and a summer home in the mountains. As it is, I'm a honky white chick who's filling out job applications for Shop-Ko. Please don't sue me.

NO INSULT is intended to 7 of 11, who's being awfully good-natured about this MiSTing. He has my eternal respect and appreciation.

The romajii lyrics to "Brave Heart" can be found in their entirety at Megchan's Digimon Sekai, [http://www.megchan.com/digimon][1] . Check it out, it's really nifty!

Have a great summer, everyone! I'll work on part four when I have time and post it when I'm able. Laters!

stinger

**"THEY TOOK MY SISTER!"**

/stinger

   [1]: http://www.megchan.com/digimon



	4. The Tsunonrimon Saga, Part IV by 7 of 11

When we last left our heroes, who had recently been reunited with their digimon companions, Tai had been reduced to an even more brainless state than usual by Izzy's Jingle-B-Gone machine in an attempt to rid him of a Spice Girls song wandering through his head; Matt was in serious danger of losing all sensation from the shoulders down due to Tai's sudden attachment of himself to the blonde boy; Mimi was offended that she was getting the blame for Tai's benumbed state, as she had flipped the switch on the Jingle-B-Gone; and Izzy was trying to figure out a way to remedy the situation.

Izzy crouched beside the smouldering contraption, cupping his chin in his palm thoughtfully."Theoretically speaking, if my invention caused Tai's predicament, it should also be able to undo it and restore him back to normal."

"Whatever 'normal' was," Tentomon commented, hovering nearby.

"Didn't you install a 'reverse' switch on this thing?" Palmon asked, peering at the device.

Izzy frowned at her rather irritably."Unfortunately, that concept didn't occur to me when I was designing the machine."

"Maybe you should make a note of it for next time," Gabumon suggested helpfully.

Agumon wandered up to where Tai was still clinging, apparently asleep, to Matt. "What if we just hit him on the head a couple of times?"

"Whatever it takes," Matt ground out through clenched teeth."Just get. Him. *Off* me."

Mimi whirled on them all suddenly."You all think this is my fault, don't you?" she cried tearfully, sounding wounded to the very depths of her soul."I suppose you're going to blame global warming on me now, aren't you?" 

Izzy contintued to mull over his technical problem."Maybe if I rearrange the wiring at these two junctions and stick in some more fuses..."

"If you're going to hit him on the head," Kari said to Agumon worriedly, "just try not to aim for his brain stem, all right?"

"Or maybe the answer lies in a complete reversal of the internal operating systems," Izzy muttered to himself.

TK pointed upwards in alarm."Hey, Myotismon's back!" he cried, running to hide behind Matt's leg.

Indeed, Myotismon had reappeared on the giant overhead viewscreen, with DemiDevimon fiddling with something in the background."Greetings, invertebrates," he smirked."Are you prepared to be awed by *my* half of the invention exchange, or shall I give you a few more minutes to ready yourselves for my revelation of genius?"

"We've had more than enough of you revealing yourself, thanks," Sora responded dryly.

Myotismon scowled hideously, baring his fangs."I'll ignore that remark, child," he snarled icily."Now behold my power!DemiDevimon!"

On command, the lesser digimon pushed forward a massive wheeled table covered in electrical parts and masses of wiring.In the centre of the table was a switch and a single, tiny bit of wire shielded by a delicate glass orb.Mytosimon turned his attention to the device, grinning madly.

"This, Digi-Destined," he announced, "is a creation of nigh-magical power the likes of which this realm has never seen before.It shall revolutionise the digital world and mark the dawning of a new era in which I reign supreme!"With gleeful flourish, he flipped the switch, causing the gadgetry to hum to life.Slowly, the wire-and-glass contraption began to flicker, finally glowing with soft white light.

"I call it," Myotismon told them, pausing dramatically, "the LIGHT BULB!"

The children and digimon (with the exception of Tai, who was completely unaware of what was going on) stared at the vampire, looking decidedly underwhelmed.Noticing this, Myotismon scowled at them again.

"Why are you not tripping over yourselves in awe of my mental might?" he demanded, shaking a furious fist at the group."Have you any idea of the incredible power I have harnessed in this tiny sphere of fragile glass?"

"Maybe not a *precise* idea," Sora answered, "but yeah, we've all got a rough idea of what's involved in the, ahem, 'magical' processes of a light bulb."

"Everybody on Earth has a light bulb," Matt replied, attempting to shrug with Tai's arms still wrapped tightly around his upper half."Some people have, like, two or three."

Joe retrieved his massive blue duffel bag from some unobtrusive corner of the room and began digging through it."I've even got one in here, somewhere," he volunteered, and the others - Myotismon included - watched with some interest as he began tossing various items out of the bag.

"Toilet paper...bath towel...bottle of aspirin...aha!I knew I'd brought this with me!" he said triumphantly, pulling out a large, ornate lamp with a gaudy shade.Turning the knob located near the base of the socket into which the light bulb was inserted, Joe lit up the surrounding area with hazy, orange-tinted light.

Myotismon stared at them, fuming and yet surprisingly calm."I see."

"You brought a *lamp* with you?" Izzy asked incredulously."What else have you got in there?"

Joe dropped his gaze, suddenly secretive."Stuff."

"Like what?"Mimi, once again moving with deceptive speed and agility, darted forward to seize hold of Joe's bag and started looking over its contents, despite Joe's protests and frantic attempts to take it back."Aerosol cheese?Ew.A book...'Or-i-gin of Spe-cies'?What's that?One of those free AOL CD thingies..."

Sora joined her, widening her eyes in surprise."A bottle of Scotch?Joe, where did you get *this*?And why?"

"It's an effective analgesic!" Joe said defensively.

"...a crescent wrench, an abacus, a Scrabble game, jumper cables, Action Comics #583, an entire video library of Ken Burns' 'The Civil War'," Sora continued, her expression growing ever more bewildered."Joe, what *possible* use..."

"Enough!Enough of this tomfoolery!I demand respect and admiration, puny mortals!" Myotismon bellowed, furious that the children were no longer paying attention to his invention.

Izzy came to join them, peering into the seemingly bottomless depths of Joe's bag."You know," he said thoughtfully, some of this stuff might be useful in the reconfiguration of my machine.Joe, would you mind...?"

The older boy shrugged. "Sure, why not.Now that everyone's pawed through my personal belongings anyway," he added somewhat sulkily.

Izzy glanced up at Sora."Between you and me, we should be able to remedy Tai's situation."He looked somewhat apologetically at Myotismon."This is probably going to take a while.I think Tai and Sora and I should stay here and try to figure things out while you torture the others in the theatre."

"Oh, that's mighty generous of you," Matt growled."And by the way, could one of you possibly be troubled to *do* something about this guy?"

Kari approached them with Joe's can of aerosol cheese."Hey, Tai!" she called brightly."Look what I've got!"

Tai popped open one brown eye."Cheese!" he cried gleefully.

Kari nodded, "Yup, and it's cheddar.You can have it if you let go of Matt."

No sooner had the words left her mouth than Tai had released his friend and snatched the can from Kari, preoccupying himself with the daunting task of prying off the plastic cap.Matt staggered back, a look of relief flitting across his features before being replaced with an expression of horror.

"My arms don't work!" he yowled, sounding close to panic.

Joe clapped a hand on his shoulder."We've got bigger things to worry about.Looks like you, Mimi, TK and I just got picked for torture detail," he told the blonde-haired lad before switching his gaze up to the viewscreen."Um, right?"

Myotismon waved a hand at them carelessly, having ceased his seething and now moved on to pouting."Fine, go on, I don't care," he sniffed."Have fun with your torture.You clearly don't need *my* contributions any longer."

DemiDevimon flapped closer, looking uncertain."You want I should hit The Button, boss?"

The dark one shrugged."Sure, whatever.I'm going to my chambers."He wandered off, muttering something about "Beaches" and triple-chocolate-chunk ice cream.

The bat-winged digimon exchanged a puzzled glance and a shrug with the Digi-Destined, then grinned evilly."Well, if the boss can't enjoy your pain and suffering, then I will!Mwahahahaha!"Maliciously he pushed the gleaming button, causing havoc to break out in the chamber once again.

"Oh, great, we've got FANFIC SIIIIIIGN!" Matt yelled, as he, Joe, TK, Mimi and their respective digimon rushed towards the theatre door.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

_(The kids and digimon file into the theatre and take their seats as follows, from left to right: Palmon, Mimi, Patamon, TK, Gabumon, Matt, Joe and Gomamon.)_

Matt:Geez, am I glad that's over.It'll be a miracle if I ever regain full feeling in my arms again.

Mimi:And I guess that's my fault too, isn't it?!

Joe:Well, maybe indirectly.

TK:C'mon, we can't beat this story if we're all mad at each other!Be nice!

**Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga-Part Four: United They Stand**

Matt:Divided they suffer a painful, horrific death.

**Chapter One**

**T.K. looked up at Tsunonrimon from besides Kari, defiance in his eyes. "You hurt her..." he turned his gaze to his former partner, and the defiance was gone, yet replaced by a wistful sadness. "And you helped her do it."**

Gomamon:That makes you an accomplice!You'll be facing twenty-five to thirty in the Big House, pretty boy!

Joe:Unless he gets Dylan McDermott to represent him.

**He remained unmoving for a brief eternity.**

Mimi:Is that an oxymoron, or just a weird literary device?

Matt:Yes.

**"Enough!" shouted Tsunonrimon. "You try my patience, child!"**

Gabumon:I'd be glad to.Would you care to try some of mine?

Gomamon:Yuk yuk yuk!

**Abruptly, she stood up straight, as if listening to a distant voice.**

Matt:The call of the wild.

Palmon: Or maybe the call of nature.

**A smile gradually grew on her face. "They are here!" she whispered. **

Patamon:_(as girl from "Poltergeist")_ They're heeeeee-eeeeere!

**"Come, Angemon, Angewomon! Let us show the Digidestined**

Matt:_(Tsunonrimon)_ " - my collection of Barbra Streisand albums!"

**the wrath of Darkness!" The three walked out of the stone doorway, which sparkled briefly after they had left, and disappeared.**

Palmon:Sparkle sparkle sparkle.

**T.K. got up and started to run towards the door. As he crossed the threshold, however, the doorway flashed and he was thrown backwards.**

Joe:D'oh!She's been setting wards!

**He cried in agony. "T.K.!" cried Kari. Weakly, she pulled herself up from the floor and went over to the other Digidestined. As she knelt down at the unconscious T.K.'s side, waves of nausea overtook her system,**

TK:Eew!Yuck!Not on me!

**and she was plunged into a deep sleep. The two lay on the cold stone floor, unmoving.**

Matt:They were wasted.

**"Flower Cannon!" Lillymon took out several of the numerous attackers with verdant**

Joe:Ooooh!Thesaurus word!_(to Gomamon)_Where's my list?

Gomamon:Here ya go._(He hands Joe the much-scribbled-in notebook.)_

Joe:_(looking through notebook)_ Gah!Your handwriting is horrible!What did you do, write upside down and blindfolded?

Gomamon:I can't help that I'm a lefty.

**blasts from her weapon, but they were replaced by even more.**

TK:Like those brooms in "Fantasia"?Creepy.

Joe: _(still ranting over his notebook)_ What word is this?"Karapis"?

**She cried out in pain as one of them sank its teeth into her shoulder.**

Matt:Lillymon - the other white meat.

Joe:_(still ranting)_ You wrote down "dog" as a thesaurus word?!

Gomamon: Well, at least you can tell what I wrote.

**This momentary lapse allowed even more of the swarm to get in. **

** **

**A roaring battle cry**

** **

TK:Meow!

Patamon: _(at same time)_ Squeak!

Matt:_(at same time)_ Cheep!Cheep!

Palmon:_(at same time)_ Baaaaaaaa!

**caused them to pause from tearing Lillymon apart. The Digimon barely had time to feel surprised before an angry WarGreymon ripped them all to shreds using his powerful claws.**

Patamon:Whee!Confetti!

**Lillymon looked at WarGreymon. "Thanks for the help."**

** **

**"Don't mention it!" growled the Mega Digimon. **

Joe:_(WarGreymon)_ "Really.I've got a reputation to keep up."

**"Black Magic!"**

Matt:_(singing)_ She's a black magic - 

Gabumon:Don't.It's been done.

**WarGreymon was suddenly thrown forward in a burst of energy as dark as night. Lillymon turned around to see the Dark Trio of Angemon, Angewomon, and Tsunonrimon**

** **

Palmon:They're now officially a group.They've got their own name and everything.

**floating right above the main tower of the palace.**

** **

**Matt, still clinging on to Dragomon's back, narrowed his eyes. "You..." he hissed. "What have you done with T.K.!" **

Joe:_(Alex Trebek)_ Oooooh!I'm sorry, but you forgot to state that in the form of a question.How much did you wager?

**Tsunonrimon looked at Matt as if he were a speck of dust.**

Patamon:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "Oh, the filth!Where's my Pledge?"

**"Now, now," she chided. "You mustn't be so rude when talking to your elders, boy." The Dark Queen floated forwards. Angemon and Angewomon started to follow, but Tsunonrimon halted them.**

Matt:Staaaaayyy...stay!Good angels.

**"You wait here."**

** **

**Tsunonrimon levitated over to Dragomon nonchalantly.**

Joe:_(scribbles)_

**Everyone eyed her cautiously, but no one wanted to do something that might ignite a full-scale battle. **

Gabumon:Unfortunately, with tensions running high, somebody sneezed and unwittingly set off one of the bloodiest conflicts in digital history.

**"If you are so impatient to know where your little companions are," she began. "They are in the castle's keep.**

Mimi:The what now?

Patamon:It's like an overhead storage bin on a bus, isn't it?

Joe:Not...really.

Patamon:Oh.Well it should be!

**However, I warn you, you will not be able to defeat us. It would be the wisest decision to simply leave. They are mine, and no one shall take them from me.**

** **

Matt:_(Tsunonrimon, childish)_ "Mine!Mine!Mine!"

**If you turn around now, I shall**

Joe:_(Tsunonrimon)_ " - stick one of those signs on your back that says 'Kick Me'."

let you go." 

**"Yeah, right!" scoffed Jake.**

** **

****All:_(Jake)_ Shyeah!As if, dude!

** **

**"We came here to get T.K. and Kari back, and there's no way in Hell that you'll get us to give up on them!"**

Gomamon:_(Jake)_ "Unless, of course, you kill us.Or give us candy."

**Tsunonrimon shrugged. "We gave you a chance..." She raised her hands high above her head. "Unholy Slash!"**

Gabumon:To hear some people tell it, that's the *only* kind of slash.

**A crescent of midnight started to take shape in her fists. She brought it down suddenly, and it extended in a slice to Dragomon's chest. **

**Dragomon roared in pain and started to thrash wildly. **

Matt:Dude!Mosh pit!

__

**The four Digidestined tried to hold on, but it was no use. It was a very long drop to the forest floor below. **

** **

**Chapter Two**

**(Author's Note: **

Patamon:C sharp?

Palmon:B flat.

Mimi:I thought these weren't supposed to come until the end...

**This occurs while the rescue party {see pt 3} is going to Tsunonrimon, they haven't started fighting yet)**

Gabumon:Be sure to write this down.There will be a test later.

**"Sora." Sora closed her eyes even tighter, trying to drive away the voice that was waking her. "Sora?" Maybe if she pretended to still be asleep, they'd go away. "Sora!"**

All:Sora? Sora! Hey, Sora! Sora! Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora!

**With great reluctance, Sora opened her eyes and sat up. **

** **

**Izzy looked at her.**

Joe:_(Izzy)_ "I just wanted to see if you were still asleep.Guess you were, so..."

**"Good, you're awake. Let's go to find Tai, Matt, and the others!"**

** **

**Sora blinked. "Izzy? What time is it?" She looked around, confused. It was still dark out.**

Gabumon:It's about a quarter to sunrise, I'd wager.

**"Five in the morning." Izzy replied. **

Matt:Don't ask me how I know.I can just tell.

**"Five?!" Sora looked at Izzy. "You woke us up at five in the morning! Izzy!"**

TK:All the good cartoons don't start till seven!What a gyp!

**Joe spoke up from where he was packing a bag, with Gomamon's assistance.**

Joe:Of course, Gomamon's idea of "helping" is to take out everything as I put it in and stash it behind a rock.

Gomamon:C'mon, it makes the job more fun.

**"He thinks that if we get going earlier, we'll be able to meet up with the group before they can get into any trouble. And you know there's going to be trouble."**

Palmon:Well then, why bother?

**"Well, I guess so...when you put it that way." Sora stood up and yawned. "Come on, Biyomon, time to get up." **

All:Biyomon? Biyomon! Hey, Biyomon! Biyomon, Biyomon, Biyomon, Biyomon...

**The party cleaned up the campsite**

Matt:'Cause leaving a mess would result in a hefty fine from the park officials.

**and then started down the path where the first group had gone. They never noticed the figure following them. A figure that looked like a Minotaur and wore iron gauntlets on his hands.**

TK:Mintotuar-With-Iron-GauntletsMon?

**"Lunchtime!" yelled Gomamon happily.**

Mimi:At random intervals, for no apparent reason.

**Joe pulled some sandwiches out of his bag. "That's all?" Gomamon looked crestfallen.**

Matt:_(Gomamon)_ "C'mon, cough up the aerosol cheese!I know it's in there!"

Gabumon:Along with the book, the crescent wrench, the 'Civil War' library, the - 

Joe:Let be the contents of my bag!

**"Oh well, I suppose it will have to do."**

**The three Digimon and their partners all sat down to eat. Without warning, the air behind Joe started to waver and solidify.**

Gomamon:_(accusingly)_ Joe!

Joe:Ha-ha.Flatulence joke.Very funny.

**The other five, seeing this, started to back away from Joe, mouths agape.**

Mimi:_(Joe)_ "Hey, whoever smelt it, dealt it!"

Joe:C'mon, cut it out!

**"What? What's wrong? I don't have something in my teeth, do I?"**

****

**"No! It's...it's..."Sora pointed, but couldn't finish the sentence.**

Joe:Let's all try to exhibit that kind of self-control for the time being, hmmmm?

TK:Aw, you're no fun.

**"There's someone behind me, isn't there?" Joe turned and looked up at the Digimon. "AHHH!!! It's Invisomon!" Joe dove forward, barely missing getting smashed by a steel glove.**

**Gomamon dropped the half-eaten sandwich.**

Gomamon:Pastrami!I hate pastrami!

**"Joe! Gomamon digivolve to...IKKAKUMON!" The shaggy walrus glared at Invisomon.**

Mimi:Guys just can't pull of the Look of Death.They always wind up looking kind of silly.

**"Harpoon Torpedo!" **

** **

**Three of the missiles streaked at the Minotaur.**

Gabumon:The missiles had just graduated and felt like doing something irreverent and moronic.

**"Demon Punch!"**

Matt: How 'bout a nice Demon Punch?

TK:Sure!

**The gauntlets started to glow a bright white. "HYAA!"**

Palmon:Healthy Young Athletes of Antarctica!

Matt:Heave Your Apples Around!

Patamon: Huge Yummy Aardwolf Actors!

**Invisomon brought his fist up and around, knocking the projectiles back at Ikkakumon, who was thrown backwards.**

** **

**"Tentomon digivolve to...KABUTERIMON!"**

** **

**"Biyomon digivolve to...BIRDRAMON!"**

** **

**And the battle raged on.**

Mimi:Battle-y stuff happened.

**Chapter Three**

**The four Digidestined were falling, unable to do anything.**

Joe:Except fall.And scream.And soil themselves.

Matt: You're speaking from experience, I take it.

Joe:Bite me!

**Jake closed his eyes and waited for the end.**

Matt:As do we all.

Gabumon: Be nice, now.

**There were three clangs on metal below him all of a sudden.**

Joe:Wouldn't they be more like 'splats', landing with that kind of velocity?

**Then he landed on MetalGarurumon's back, too. As he gasped for air, he saw that MetalGarurumon had caught the four of them not thirty feet above the dense foliage of the forest floor. A second later and they would have been pasty-colored spots on the ground.**

Gomamon:Pastry-colored spots?

Mimi:No, not quite.

Patamon:Now I'm hungry.

**"Hurricane Beam!" Angemon swerved around Dragomon's attack.**

Matt:Unfortunately, he wiped out and ran into a tree.

Mimi:His parents are gonna freak when they find out what he did to their car!

**The beam, still continuing, struck the peak of the palace tower, ripping it clean off. In that room, Matt saw, were two very familiar figures lying side by side.**

Patamon:His parents?

Mimi:Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman?

Matt:George Michael and that other guy from "Wham!"

**"MetalGarurumon!" He yelled, his voice hoarse.**

Matt:You gotta admit, I do one heck of a Christopher Lambert impersonation.

**"Up there! The tower!"**

** **

**MetalGarurumon grunted an affirmative, and sprang higher into the air, landing right in the exposed room.**

Joe:The room blushed crimson and hurried to cover itself.

**"T.K.!" shouted Matt, running to his brother's side. **

Gabumon:Oh, dear, I landed right on TK's head...

TK:That's okay.I know you didn't mean it.

**"Kari!" Tai leaped off of MetalGarurumon's back and sprinted to his sister. He, ever so gently, picked her head up and put it in his lap.**

Palmon:- leaving the rest of her body laying on the floor.

Others:Ick!

**"Kari..." he saw the horrific bruise on her side. "Oh my god...what did they do to you?"**

Matt:That game of 'Slug-Bug' got waaaaayy out of hand.

**Matt looked at the electric burns on his brother's hands and face. "What happened here?"**

** **

**Mimi and Jake bent over the two boys. "Are they...are they dead?" asked Mimi, worried.**

** **

**"No, they're just badly hurt." Choked Tai. "Tsunonrimon will pay for this."**

Joe:_(Tai, grimly)_ "I hope she has Visa."

Matt:'Cause the Digi-Destined will take a hearty beating - but we *won't* take American Express.

**The Digidestined turned as a cackle came from behind them. "Oh, how touching." Tsunonrimon sneered. "The families will die together."**

Mimi:Like Romeo and Juliet.

Matt:Only not.

**She started to gather power. "Black..."**

Matt:Black panther?

Joe:Black widow?

TK:Black labrador?

**A pink blur**

Mimi:Whoops, we changed colours all of a sudden.

TK:Hey, no fair!

**suddenly dropped out of the sky, hitting Tsunonrimon in the back of the head.**

Patamon:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "All right, who's throwing spitwads?"

**"All right Lillymon!" cheered Mimi.**

All:Huzza!

**Tsunonrimon recovered from her out-of-control falling and turned to Lillymon. "Ah, the flower child wants to get in on the fight. **

Joe:Actually, I thought most flower children were pacifists.

**News flash: The 60's are over!"**

Palmon:Well, they would be, if not for the fact that some people feel an inexplicable nostalgia for love beads and protest songs.

**She crossed her arms in front of her face.**

Matt:_(as Joe from "Wings")_ Assume crash positions!

**"Rain of Blades!" She flung her hands outward again, releasing a spray of swords. Lillymon was thrown down into the forest below, helpless.**

**WarGreymon struck at Angewomon with his gleaming claws, but he couldn't seem to hit her.**

Matt:WarGreymon, ya doof, take off that blindfold.

**She was too fast for him. Finally, he saw his chance. He drove his foot up in a kick to her chin, snapping it shut. As the angel fell backwards, WarGreymon brought his arm back.**

TK:Hey, you're not s'posed to hit girls!

Mimi:Women.

Palmon:Wo*mon*.

**"Hand of Fate!" Angemon's beam attack struck home, colliding with the Mega's back. **

** **

**WarGreymon grunted in pain and turned around to confront this new threat. **

Matt: Whoa! Hey! Should a Champion even be able to hurt a Mega?

Joe:Well, he's an *evil* Champion now.They've got the Evil Advantage.

**"Terra **

Gabumon:Cotta?

**Force!" The gigantic sphere of fire shone a deep scarlet as he held it high over his head. He hurled the attack at Angemon,**

Matt:Projectile vomiting.That's an interesting method of attack.

Joe:Urgh.

**who was totally enveloped in the blast.**

Mimi:Like, totally!Oh my gawd!

Palmon:You do that too well.

**As the angel dove out of the fireball, seemingly unscathed, WarGreymon paused for a second. This wasn't right.**

Gabumon:_(WarGreymon)_ "How'd I wind up in Wisconsin?"

**He was a Mega Digimon, Angemon was only a Champion-stage. How could Angemon possibly have survived the Terra Force?**

Matt:And why was he getting paid fifty cents more an hour?

**He was forced to abandon this train of thought, however, as Angewomon re-entered the fight.**

** **

**Chapter Four**

**Izzy was working at his computer frantically. "Izzy, this is no time to play games!" protested Joe. "Invisomon is kicking our Digimon's butts!"**

Joe:Oh, pish-tush.There's always time for Starcraft.

**"I know that, Joe!" explained Izzy. "One of the main problems with fighting Invisomon is that he can turn invisible.**

Matt:Hence the name 'Invisomon', I'm guessing.

**However, he still has a computer code in the Digiworld when he is transparent. So if I upload a program into the Digiworld that can isolate that code and display it..."**

Gabumon:Then he'll merely be opaque!It's brilliant!

**"Then we should be able to see Invisomon no matter what!" finished Sora.**

** **

**Izzy nodded. "Right!" His fingers flew over the keyboard. With a final triumphant stroke,**

Joe:Fore!

TK:_('swish'ing sound)_

**he pushed Enter. "Uploading now..."**

Gomamon:Estimated download time: four hours and seventeen minutes.Have a nice day.

**Without his normal effects,**

Palmon:Invisomon was just a big chump.

**Invisomon suddenly appeared in the air, aiming a kick at Kabuterimon. With the program in place, however, Kabuterimon could see Tsunonrimon's henchman and react accordingly.**

Gomamon:Dropping to four of his six knees and pleading for mercy.

Patamon:Hee hee!

**The bug flew out of harms way. "Electro Shocker!" the ball of electricity hit a very startled Invisomon in the back. **

**Invisomon fell to his knees, obviously in pain. "What?" Sora was confused.**

Palmon:_(Joe)_ "Uh-oh.Somebody get her medication."

**"One shot from Kabuterimon does that much damage? How is that possible?"**

** **

**Izzy smiled. "As I thought. With his natural camouflage ability, Invisomon probably never felt the need to enhance his defensive strength.**

Gomamon: Yeah, he was content to just stay invisible and play silly pranks on people.Like steal their socks while they were sleeping.

Matt:We haven't forgotten that morning of chaos, you know.

Gabumon:I thought it was rather funny.

Mimi:Maybe because you don't wear socks.

**Right now, he probably is the defensive equivalent of, oh say, Greymon. It's an even match now."**

Joe:Since my Gangrel has Iron Will to counteract your Brujah's Dread Gaze.

**"Meteor Wing!" Birdramon shot twin fireballs at Invisomon, who looked up with what Joe imagined was horror as the Digimon was picked up and thrown into a tree.**

** **

**The Ultimate got up and looked at Birdramon.**

Gabumon:_(Invisomon) _"Good heavens, have you ever thought about seeing an orthodontist about that overbite?"

**"Demon Punch!" **

Gomamon:With the delicious fruity taste of strawberry, lemon and avacado.

**He hit the gigantic bird straight on, but this left him open to a Harpoon Torpedo salvo from Ikkakumon. Invisomon fell to the ground, defeated. **

Patamon:_(Invisomon)_ "Oh poopie."

**He shimmered,**

Matt:Having taken lessons from much of the JyouKou mailing list.

Joe:I hear the distinct sound of the fourth wall crumbling as we speak.

**as if he was going to turn invisible again, and disintegrated. **

** **

**"Yeah! You are the best, Izzy!" shouted Joe.**

Palmon:Oh, sure, stroke his ego a little more.

Joe:_(Izzy)_ "Worship me, peons!"

**They were interrupted by a gigantic thunderclap in the distance.**

TK:God had been watching, and boy was He impressed!

**They all turned to see tiny specks shooting flashes of colored light at each other. **

Matt:Tinkerbell and all her fairy friends were having a pillow fight.

Palmon:Either that or there'd been some *special* additives in those sandwiches.

Gomamon:_(Sora)_ "Whooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaahh...."

**"Looks like trouble..." Izzy began.**

TK:And make it double!

Others:Gah!

**"And where there's trouble..." Sora continued.**

** **

**Joe groaned. "There's Tai and the others." He finished.**

** **

**"Birdramon!" shouted Sora. "Take us to them! Quickly!"**

Matt:All right, geez, Miss Bossy-Pants!Just gimme a minute!

**Birdramon looked down at the trio. "I can't carry all of you and your Digimon like this." **

Patamon:_(Birdramon)_ "Not unless you show me your passports and airline tickets."

**"Please! Birdramon, you have to! Otherwise, Tai will be hurt, I just know it. You have to!" Sora's crest started to glow.**

** **

**"Birdramon digivolve to...GARUDAMON!" The giant avian bent over**

** **

Patamon:- and began scratching for feed corn.

Gomamon:Buckaw!

**to pick up the group. She flapped her wings once then took to the air.**

** **

**Chapter Five**

**"What? Where am I?" Kari slowly opened her eyes. "What happened?" She seemed to lose focus for a second, then she regained it. "Tai!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"**

TK:She forgot 'who', 'when' and 'how'.She'll never be a good reporter!

**Tai looked down at his little sister. "We're all here to rescue you guys from Tsunonrimon. She's not paying any attention to us," he gestured at the small group. **

Matt:_(Tai)_ "Hey Mom, watch me!Mom...Mom, you're not watching!Mooommm!"

**"But she's doing a good job of defeating the Digimon, and it won't be long before she turns on us." **

** **

**Kari weakly sat up, then winced and brought her hand to her side as jolts of pain shot through her body. **

** **

TK:Jolt's okay, but it really can't beat Afri-Cola.

**"Do you know what happened to T.K.?" asked Matt. "He has really bad burns, and I'm worried about him!"**

Matt:_(to Joe) _Suggestions, Doogie Howser?

Joe:Uhm...look, I've got a confession.My dad's not really a doctor, he just watches "ER" and wants me to be like George Clooney.

Mimi:He wants you to be a likable but unorthodox pediatrician whose nonconformist attitude, though effective, ultimately results in the loss of his job and everything he holds dear?

Joe:Hey, it's his dream, not mine.

**Kari thought. "He ran out the door," only then did she realize that since the roof had been blown off that there was no door.**

Palmon:Kitty Bartholomew's gone over the edge!The horror!

**"And something shocked him. I think Tsunonrimon put a spell on the place or something."**

** **

****Mimi:No, he'd just been scuffing his feet on the wool carpet before he touched the doorknob.

** **

**It was then that a triple attack from the three Megas-WarGreymon's Terra Force, Dragomon's Hurricane Beam, and MetalGarurumon's Ice Wolf Claw-**

Gabumon: (_in his original Japanese voice) _Petite Fire!

Matt:Whoa!Hey!What was that?

Gabumon: _(normal voice, embarrassed)_ Pardon me.

**sent Angewomon sprawling, and the angel crashed to the stone floor of the tower room not ten feet from where Kari was. **

** **

**"Angewomon!" cried the young Digidestined. Fighting the pain,**

TK:_(as Kerri Strug on "Saturday Night Live")_ Shake it off, Skippy!Shake it off!

**she went to her former companion's side. "Are you alright?"**

** **

**"Kari! What are you doing?" yelled Jake. "Angewomon's evil!**

Patamon: _(Jake)_ "I caught her listening to rock and roll!And *dancing*!"

**If you try and help her, she'll just hurt you...or worse!"**

** **

**Kari turned to him. "I don't care! Angewomon was once my friend, and I still remember that! Nothing can change what she did for me before!"**

Mimi:_(Kari)_ "She helped me find the perfect throw pillows to accentuate my bedspread!"

Joe:'Accentuate'..._(scribbles)_

**With those words, Kari's Digivice started to radiate with a brilliant, pure, white light.**

Matt:GE - we bring good things to life.

Mimi:Uh oh, Myotismon's gonna be mad they stole his idea.

**In wonder, the girl removed it from her belt and looked at it. She turned back to the downed angel, the Digivice in her hands still. The light washed over Angewomon's face, and what seemed to be a miracle**

Joe: - but was really just an inexplicable supernatural phenomenon of possible divine origin.

**occurred. The radiance seemed to chase the evil aura around Angewomon away like daylight banishing the shadow of nightfall.**

All:_(awed)_ Ooooooooooooooo!

Joe:_(scribbles)_ "...banishing the shadow of nightfall."Pretty.

**Angewomon turned to Kari. "Kari?" she breathed. "What...what happened? The last thing I remember was Tsunonrimon...LOOK OUT!" the angel screamed.**

Patamon:And when Kari turned around, Angewomon started making goofy faces at her.

TK:Hee hee!Sometimes I do that to Matt.

Matt:And you think I don't see you.

**Kari turned to see Angemon raising his staff high above his head like a club. **

TK:Run, li'l baby harp seals!Run!

Gomamon:Yaaaahh!!!

**Reflexively Kari brought her arms up to block against the blow she knew was going to come. The Digivice she still clutched in her hand shone again, and Angemon halted his attack. The evil was expelled from him as well. **

Joe:Next she tried it on Britney Spears, but there was simply no easy way to combat evil of that magnitude.

**"Kari?" the holy warrior said, confused. He looked over to where T.K. was still lying unconscious. "T.K!" he shouted. "What have I done?"**

Matt:_(extremely melodramatic)_ WHY?!?WHY DO WE HURT THE ONES WE LOVE?!?!

**Slowly, Angemon dropped his staff.**

Palmon:How can you slowly drop something?

Mimi:Maybe someone was fooling around with the Time Card from "Card Captor Sakura".

Joe:Or this has turned into an episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger", where everything dramatic happens in slow motion.

**"Don't worry, it's not your fault, Angemon, Angewomon." Said Mimi. "It was Tsunonrimon who turned you to evil."**

TK:Hey, I should use that excuse next time Mom yells at me for something!

**Mimi pointed to where Tsunonrimon was currently beating up on Dragomon.**

Gomamon:_(Mimi)_ "Maybe we should do something about that...nah."

**"Tsunonrimon..." Angemon growled.**

Patamon:Grrr.Grrrrrrrr!

Gabumon:Oh, ah, please don't hurt me.

Patamon:_(defeated)_ Stop patronising me.

**"Matt," he called. "Take care of T.K.." The warrior floated into the air, to where Tsunonrimon had her back exposed to him. "HAND OF FATE!" The beam tore through the air and smashed into the Dark Queen.**

** **

**Tsunonrimon turned in surprise. "ANGEMON!" **

TK:_(Tsunonrimon) _"D'oh! I haven't finished decorating for your surprise birthday party yet!"

**Angewomon flew to besides Angemon.**

**"We're free now, Tsunonrimon."**

Palmon:_(Angemon)_ "We used to cost over a hundred dollars sold separately, but now we're included free of charge in a special package deal!"

**"And we've got a grudge to settle..." **

** **

**Tsunonrimon threw back her head and laughed. "You, teach me a lesson? I think not!**

Joe:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "I just got my Doctorate of Theology from Northwestern!Bwahahahaha!"

**For today shall see the defeat of the Digidestined, one way or another! Do you hear me? You all will lose! And," she added, dropping her voice down to a menacing whisper. "I shall take a very personal pleasure in destroying the two of you."**

Matt:I heard the "You all will lose" part, but the rest was kind of an indistinct muttering noise.

**A voice came from behind Tsunonrimon.**

Patamon:She turned only to discover that no one was there.And then she realised -the voices were *inside her head*!

Palmon:_(Tsunonrimon, smacking her forehead) _"Shut up, all of you, just SHUT *UP!*"

**"Not if we can help it!" She turned to see Izzy, Joe, Sora, and Ikkakumon-who had spoken-climb off Garudamon's back, with Kabuterimon hovering closely besides them.**

**Tsunonrimon, for the first time, looked nervous.**

Matt:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "Curses...I'm powerless against computer geeks and giant birds of indeterminate gender!"

**"Well, it seems that you outnumber me." She said, getting her sarcastic edge back. "So now it is time for me to exit."**

Gomamon:_(Snagglepuss)_ Exit stage left, even!

**She started to rise higher in the air, and a glowing column of light surrounded her. **

** **

**"Oh no you don't!" Shouted Matt. "Come back down here and fight us!"**

Matt:Don't make me come up there!

**She ignored him. "Oh, and what kind of host would I be to leave without a parting present? So here it is..."**

Gomamon:A copy of our home game!

Others:_(crowd noises)_

**A sphere of darkness started to surround her, growing bigger with each second, until it was larger than any attack they had ever seen before.**

Matt:It was roughly the size of Michael Flatley's ego.

All:Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

**"Run! Get everyone out of here!" shouted Dragomon, realizing what was going to happen.**

Gabumon:_(Dragomon)_ "Shameless glory-hogging during traditional Irish dance!It won't be pretty!"

**"Quickly!"**

Matt:To the Chihulymobile!

**The Digidestined leapt into action.**

All:_(start humming the theme to "Speed")_

**Matt scooped up his brother and put him on MetalGarurumon's back. T.K. started to stir.**

Matt:Not shake.

Gabumon:Shake 'n' Bake?

TK:_(Southern accent)_ An' I halped!

**"Matt?" he asked. "What's happening? What's going on?"**

** **

**"Shhhh." Hushed Matt.**

Matt:_(Dr Evil)_ I've got a whole bag of 'shh' with your name on it.

__**"We need to get out of here now!"**

Mimi:Quick!Everyone jump out the window!

All:Aaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee... _*splat*_

**As the group made their exit,**

Joe:- to a medley of Rodgers and Hammerstein showtunes...

**Tsunonrimon put enormous bolts of energy into the sphere. "HAVOC!!" she screamed shrilly. The ball expanded rapidly, destroying almost everything in its path.**

Gabumon:Everything except some cockroaches, Spam, and a box of Twinkies on a nearby shelf.

**It finally collapsed in on itself in a gargantuan explosion, which hurled all the Digidestined around.**

All:_(lurch violently side to side in their seats)_

**Jake opened his eyes weakly. He couldn't move...a glimmer of light caught his attention. What was that?**

Matt:The headlights of a train!  
All:Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

**A crystal...thrown here from the depths of the mountain, maybe?**

Mimi:Wait, what mountain?

Gabumon:There was a mountain?

Palmon:Maybe it was implied or something.

Matt:Well, evil megalomaniacs always have their fortresses on or near towering mountains.I guess it's a given.

**It was very pretty and fine-cut for being a natural stone. Compelled by some urge that he couldn't explain, Jake reached his tired arm for the crystal.**

Joe:Jake must be part raccoon.He's attracted to shiny things.

**As soon as his fingers closed around it, Jake suddenly felt new life come into his body. He had energy again.**

Matt:Hmmmm...just what kind of 'crystal' is that, anyway?

TK:Jake, no!Winners don't use drugs!

**Jake pocketed the crystal. He wouldn't let this out of his sight.**

Patamon:But if it's in his pocket, he can't really see it, can he?

**A rumbling suddenly shook the ground. Jake looked into the sky to see it swirling around and around like some sort of cosmic vortex.**

Matt:He was one of the few people in existence to ever witness the Celestial Toilet.

**A voice-Tsunonrimon's voice-emanated from it. "Well, well. I see you've survived my Havoc attack. Now I have no choice but to finish you off...heh...prepare to meet your deaths, Digidestined...or should I say the DigiDoomed?" she laughed coldly,**

Matt:Ha.Ha.Ha.

Mimi:Turn up the thermostat on that laugh, will you please?

**and Jake found himself surrounded by a brilliant, unholy, light.**

TK:_(singing) _Unholy light, sotto yami wo terasu yo...

**When it cleared, he realized he was in some sort of giant chamber. The Digidestined and the Digimon were all surrounding him, looking as confused as he felt. **

Gomamon:And that was pretty darn confused.

**The centerpiece of the room caught all of their attention, however.**

Mimi:A lovely floral arrangement of baby's breath, Dutch iris and Easter lillies.

**Tsunonrimon stood there, dressed as a queen,**

Matt:_(horrified)_ She looked like RuPaul?

Joe:_(singing)_ I see a little sil-o-etta of a man...

**but wearing all black. Around her were her henchmen: Leprechaunmon, Cerebrusmon, and Goblinmon.**

Mimi:Oddly enough, they were also dressed like queens.

Gomamon: _(Goblinmon, to Jake)_ "Hello, sailor!"

**"Oh, I am SO pleased that you managed to come." Tsunonrimon smiled, and that made Jake want to throw up.**

Palmon:_(Jake)_ "Garg.She's got chunks of egg salad stuck in her teeth."

**"Welcome to my throne room. Take a long look around, for it is the last place you will ever see. Good-bye..." she pointed. "Attack!"**

**To be continued...**

_(The Blinky Light Thingy (TM) begins flashing, and the kids and digimon stand up to leave.)_

Matt:The suspense is killing me.Hey, I can feel my arms again!

TK:Yay!

Joe:Well, I guess we'd better go see how the others are doing...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

PART FIVE COMING SOMETIME SOON! (Honest!)

DISCLAIMER:I think it's pretty clear by this point that I do not own Digimon.I own a lot of Digimon action figures, though.I can't find the Gabumon figure anywhere.Is he like short-packed or something?Do collectors come into the stores the minute new toy shipments come in and buy all the Gabumon and hoard them?Buncha poopheads.

As ever, NO INSULT is intended to 7 of 11, unless of course he's one of those Gabumon-hoarding toy collectors, which I sorta kinda doubt. ;)

_stinger_

**Now I have no choice but to finish you off...heh...prepare to meet your deaths, Digidestined...or should I say the DigiDoomed?**

_/stinger _


	5. The Tsunonrimon Saga, Part V by 7 of 11

Matt and the others emerged from the theatre to see Tai standing next to the Jingle-B-Gone once more, the helmet fitted securely on his noggin.Izzy was crouching beside the device, making some last-minute adjustments, while Kari, Sora, and Agumon peered worriedly up at Tai.

"Think it'll work?" Biyomon asked, blinking at Izzy.

"It should," the boy genius replied, sitting back and wiping his brow.He glanced up at the three theatre-escapees."You're just in time, guys!I've made some modifications to the machine, so as soon as I hit the switch, Tai ought to be back to normal."

Mimi started forward eagerly, but Joe placed a restraining hand on her shoulder."Stay, Mimi."

"Awwww..." Mimi pouted.

Izzy's hand hovered over the switch; Sora smiled at him encouragingly as the other children gave him expectant looks.Taking a deep breath, the boy flipped the device on, once more filling the room with smoke and flashing lights.

When the smoke cleared, Tai was still rooted to the spot, his face blank and expressionless.

"It didn't work!" Kari cried in despair.She flung herself at Tai and threw her arms about his waist."Now I'm stuck forever with a cheese-loving vegetable for a brother!"

At the sudden contact, Tai blinked.He glanced down at Kari and then at his disappointed-looking teammates."Geez, you guys, why the long faces?The fanfic isn't that bad, is it?"

"Tai!You're okay!" Sora cried gleefully, as the brown-haired boy pried the helmet off of his hair.

"Sure am.And this thing works great, too!You oughta get a patent or something!" Tai added to Izzy.The younger boy only blinked bemusedly as he took the helmet from Tai's hands.

Matt, meanwhile, turned to Gabumon."Look, this is turning out to be even more dangerous than I thought.Myotismon might keep forcing us into these stupid invention exchanges until one of us winds up dead or something.You guys have got to find a way out of here."

Gabumon furrowed his brow."But shouldn't we stay here to protect you?"

"Matt's got a point," Sora agreed."I think we'll be okay for now, and Myotismon might get suspicious if we all just up and disappear.We trust you guys to find an escape route.Especially since you've got Gatomon to help you.She used to work for him, after all; she ought to know her way around."

"Right," the feline agreed with a nod."Once we get out of this room, finding a tunnel out of the castle should be no problem."

"Of course, that just leaves the first part," Tentomon said dryly."How *do* we get out of this room, anyway?"

"We came in over here..."Palmon wandered over to the wall from whence she and the other digimon had entered the main room, running her claw-hand-feeler-things over it experimentally."I can't feel a door, though."

"Then maybe we'll have to make our own!" said Agumon excitedly."C'mon, guys!Pepper Breath!"

"Super Shocker!"Tentomon added his attack.

"Blue Blaster!"Gabumon threw in his two cents' worth.

"Marching Fishes!"Gomamon tried, even though his attack, as usual, simply wasn't much good in this particular situation.

Flying fish notwithstanding, the combined attacks made a sizable hole in the stone wall amidst a terrific thundering noise and big puff of dust, revealing a dark and musty tunnel.The kids and digimon peered into it uncertainly.

Abruptly, the overhead screen crackled to life, causing the group entire to jump in fright.Myotismon leered at the apparently empty room, clearly wondering where his prisoners had got to.

"Go!" Tai commanded the digimon in a whisper."We'll distract him!"

The eight children rushed in front of the screen, trying to look innocent, while their digital companions climbed carefully through the hole into the shadowy passage.

"What in the name of Apoclymon is going on in here?" Myotismon snarled.

Shrugs and wide-eyed stares met his question.

"What was that ruckus?" he demanded.

"What ruckus?" Tai asked, trying to sound casual.

Myotismon scowled."I was in my chambers and I heard a ruckus!"

Joe raised a hand tentatively."Could you describe the ruckus, sir?"

Myotismon pointed a sharp-nailed finger at him."Watch your tongue, young man, just you watch it."

To the group's right, just out of sight of the viewscreen, Agumon stumbled climbing into the hole, landing with a *thud* on the floor of the tunnel and jostling Patamon, who squealed in protest.It would have been impossible for Myotismon to not have heard the commotion.

Thinking fast, Tai sought to distract the bloodsucking fiend with the first thing that popped into his mind: he feigned coughing.Loudly.Soon the other children had picked up on his ploy and added their hacking and wheezing to the cacophony.

"Was that the noise you heard, sir?" Sora asked the scowling and suspicious vampire.Beyond her, the eight digimon had righted themselves and disappeared down the tunnel, out of sight of the kids and Myotismon.

"No.No, it was not."Myotismon narrowed his already squinty eyes at them."Now I may not have caught you in the act this time, but I will, eventually."Mimi giggled nervously.Myotismon shot her a penetrating gaze."You can bet on that, missy!"

He regarded the group once more with barely-contained fury and thundered, "I will not be made a fool of!"

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked off to some other part of the castle, allowing the Digi-Destined to see that the eternally-dignified vampire had somehow tucked his cape into the back of his pants.

The group burst out in relieved laughter, glad that their friends had gotten away unnoticed.No sooner had they regained their composure and begun to wonder what would happen next than Myotismon had swooped back into view, grinning evilly.

"Oh, I almost forgot.BEHOLD MY POWER!"He pressed The Button with fiendish glee, and chaos reigned in the main room once more.

"Oh man, we got FANFIC SIIIIIIIGN!" yelped Joe, running after the others into the theatre.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_(The kids file in and take their seats.)_

Sora:Hey, Tai, you sure you're up to this?

Tai:Absolutely.Give me everything you've got, fanfic!I stand fearless before you!

Mimi:Actually, you're sitting.

Kari:True, sitting fearlessly doesn't sound quite as imposing.

Tai:Nuts.

**Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga-Part Five: Heart of Crystal**

Sora:Liver of Quartz.

Izzy:Amygdala of Ruby.

Matt:Spleen of Cubic Zirconium.

**Chapter One**

**Tsunonrimon pointed a long slender finger at the Digidestined. "Attack!" she commanded.**

Tai:(turns and shoulder-punches Joe)

Joe:Ow!Hey!

Tai:Well, she said to attack; she never specified who.

**Her henchmen leapt into action. Leprechaunmon turned towards Sora and Garudamon. He smirked. "Charmer!"**

TK:Charmander?

Sora:Silence!

**The short Digimon raised his hands, and a beam of light washed over the two. Leprechaunmon jerked his hands upwards, and Sora and Garudamon hit the ceiling hard.**

Matt:_(Irish accent)_ That's fer tryin' to steal me Lucky Charms!

**Then, he proceeded to smash the duo around from wall to wall. When he, finally, released them, they were bruised and battered. "Charming, isn't it?" **

Tai:Well, sure, if you like to play rough.

Sora: Ick.

**He didn't have time to do anything else, though, before Lillymon blasted him into the wall with a Flower Cannon attack. The leprechaun fell to the ground.**

Matt:_(Irish accent)_ Oh, fait' n' begorrah!

Mimi:What's that mean?

Matt:Beats me.

**Matt dove to the ground as Goblinmon's axe sliced right through the spot where his head had been a moment ago. He brought his legs around in a sweep kick, tripping the monster. However, the Ultimate-stage Digimon climbed right back to his feet again.**

TK:Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!

**WarGreymon swiped at Tsunonrimon, but the Dark Queen was too agile for him. Again and again, she evaded his attacks. This was getting to be a nuisance.**

Kari:_(WarGreymon, pointing)_ "Look!Elvis!"

Sora:_(Tsunonrimon) _"Where?Where?"

Kari:*KABOOM*

**WarGreymon raised his hands high over his head. "Mega Claw! He started to spin faster and faster until he was a rotating column of energy.**

Matt:Whoa, wait, how come he's describing his actions to Tsunonrimon?

Joe:Step-by-step instructions on one's doom.That's a neat concept.

**He sped towards the spot where Tsunonrimon was watching him with something in between mild interest and contempt**

** **

Izzy:Mild Interest, Vermont and Contempt, Iowa.

**-but she wasn't there! As he came out of the spin, he was knocked forwards by her Black Magic attack.**

** **

**Tsunonrimon aimed a kick at the larger, steel-plated WarGreymon, and connected, making a refreshing 'thump' sound.**

Sora:The sound effect that refreshes.

All:Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

**The Mega-Digimon was thrown back across the room and crashed through the wall, leaving a vaguely human-shaped hole. She smiled. This was too easy. Why was she worrying about these Digidestined at all?**

Tai:Because we've been beating every other show in our time slot in the nine-to-twelve age group?

_(Without warning, a huge chunk of rock crashes to the floor near the kids.Everyone jumps in alarm.)_

Tai:Gah!What was that?

Joe:Part of the Fourth Wall.Watch what you say from now on, huh?

**Jake dodged the razor-edged shamrock that came hurtling his way, only to have his arm nearly cut off by another. He started to run. As he was looking behind him at the pursuing Leprechaunmon, Jake didn't see that he was sprinting towards the hole made in the wall by WarGreymon. Too late did he realize this, and he tripped over the bottom edge.**

** **

Joe:...despite his senses honed from years of living in the wild.Right.

**Somehow, Jake managed to turn his body in mid-air, and he clasped onto the broken concrete with the tips of his fingers. As he scrambled to find a better hold, he looked down. They were suspended in the air, somehow.**

** **

Tai:Because in the Digiworld, Things Just...*Happen*.

**If he fell, he would fall for a long time before meeting the ground in a not-too-pleasant crash.**

** **

Kari:Just think happy thoughts.That'll make it seem more pleasant.

**He turned his face upward to see Leprechaunmon, his trademark sadistic grin on his face**,

Joe:That smudge everyone thought was a mole?It's really one of those little "TM" things.

**looking down at Jake. Leprechaunmon rested his foot on Jake's right hand, and started to apply pressure.**

** **

Sora:(Leprechaunmon) "C'mon, hand, that term paper's due first

thing tomorrow and it's worth half your grade!Start typing!"

**His expression suddenly changed to one of horror. A war cry pierced the air, and WarGreymon picked the little man up with one hand. "Not so lucky, are we?"**

Matt:_(Leprechaunmon)_ "Well, I've got my lucky rabbit's...oops, where'd it go?...ah, my magic horseshoe...crud, must've left it in my other pants...golden nail blessed by the Pope...aw, *nuts*!"

**The Mega brought his gleaming claw back. He swung forwards again, decapitating Tsunonrimon's henchman with a single blow. Leprechaunmon dissolved into dust.**

Sora:Whoa!

Tai:When did this get from a TV-Y7 to a TV-14?

Joe:_*hurp!*_

**WarGreymon reached down and offered his hand to Jake, who took it gladly. Seemingly with no effort at all, he pulled the Digidestined up. "Be more careful next time," the Mega admonished. "I might not be able to protect you."**

Tai:_(WarGreymon, muttering)_ "Dork."

**Chapter Two**

**With MegaKabuterimon out of the way, Cerebrusmon turned to the pair of Digidestined in front of him-Kari and Tai. Licking his lips, the Digimon proceeded to them slowly. **

** **

Sora:Hey, I heard that at some companies, if you look at a woman and lick your lips you can be written up for sexual harrassment.

Izzy:Apparently Cerebrusmon hasn't read the company handbook.

**"Tai! Kari! Watch out!" Zudomon bellowed, causing the two to jump in surprise. The large walrus-type Digimon brought his hammer down. **

Matt: - right on top of 'em.

Joe:Whoopsie.

**Cerebrusmon barely managed to jump out of the way in time. "So, you want to fight, huh?**

Kari:_(Vitani from "Simba's Pride")_ Hey, Kovu, wanna fight?

**Let's go!" Agilely bounding across the floor, Cerebrusmon was behind the slower Ultimate in nanoseconds. He pounced onto Zudomon's back, and climbed up to his neck.**

Tai:_(Zudomon)_ "Ahh!Ooh!Down and just a little to the left - aaaaahhhh, that feels great."

**All three of Cerebrusmon's heads started to tear into Zudomon's flesh.**

Tai:Yow!Maybe not.

**Helplessly, Zudomon thrashed about. No matter what he did, however, he couldn't seem to dislodge Cerebrusmon. "Wrath of Hades!" Cerebrusmon's attack appeared around him, and the pressure on the back of his neck was gone suddenly. But before Zudomon could do anything, the fire was upon him. **

Matt:'Cause he'd died and gone straight to you-know-where.

Tai:That's what he gets for having impure thoughts about Lynn-Minmei!

**"Zudomon!" shouted Joe. An axe flashed in front of him. "Eep!" Joe squeaked, as Goblinmon leapt into view. **

Izzy:Speaking of which, I've been meaning to spend my EP's on more Finance Influences.

Joe:Nah, go with out-of-clan Disciplines.Influences are disappearing left and right these days.

Tai:_(muttering)_ Gamers.

**"Axe Smash!"**

Matt:Goblinmon *is* the Incredible Hulk.

**Goblinmon leapt into the air, his axe raised high above his head. He brought it down, and it sliced deep into Joe's arm.**

Sora:Wouldn't it slice his arm *off*, the axe being so big and all?

Joe:Gah.

**Blood spurted out from the gaping wound, and Joe fell to his knees, clutching his arm in pain.**

Matt:_(Mortal Kombat-esque)_ Finish him!

**A pink blur smashed into Goblinmon, preventing him from delivering the final blow to Joe. "You big meanie!" shouted Mimi as she repeatedly slapped Goblinmon in the face.**

** **

Tai:_(Mimi)_ "Fresh!"

Izzy:How's she expect to do any damage to an Ultimate-stage digimon?

Mimi:_(smugly)_ Girl power.

**"Don't you ever hurt my Joe again! Do you hear me? Never, ever, ever, touch him!" Joe's face turned a shade of red almost as bright as the blood gushing from his arm.**

Mimi:Tee-hee!Joe's cute when he's all wounded and blushy.

Matt:Oooooooooh!Now *Joe's* got a honey!

Joe:Oh, come on, like this is the *slightest* bit indicative of what goes on in our real lives!

Tai:Not so funny when you're on the receiving end, is it?

**"Here." Mimi got up from the dazed Goblinmon and tore a shred from the sleeve of her dress. She tied it tightly around Joe's shoulder, halting the blood flow. "This should hold for a while." She was blushing too, Joe noted.**

Tai:And what *else* did Joe notice about lovely Mimi?Hmmmmmmmm??

Joe:All right, that's it!

_(He leaps from his chair and tackles Tai to the floor.Again, various pummeling noises can be heard, interspersed with sounds of pain.Finally, Tai climbs unscathed back into his seat.)_

Tai:Joe, buddy, you gotta learn when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

Joe:_(raggedly, as he gets back into his chair)_ I *let* you win. 

Mimi:Aww, were you boys fighting over me?That's so...I dunno, brutish and stuff.

Joe:My kidneys hurt.

**Lillymon dodged Cerebrusmon's slash by inches.**

Matt:She was *this* close to being written into a yuri with Angewomon.

Tai:Saaaaaaaayyy...

**This Digimon was becoming a real annoyance.**

TK:Quick, smack him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper!

Kari:Which nose?He's got three, remember.

**He had taken out two of their number already. He had to be stopped. **

Sora:The next day, Tsunonrimon received a notice from Animal Control warning her to keep her pet chained up before he did any more damage.

**"Wrath of Hades!" the three-headed Digimon dog growled.**

** **

**"Not this time!" Lillymon responded, the petal she held in her hands blossoming to reveal a gun barrel. "Flower Cannon!" the blast caught Cerebrusmon dead on,**

Mimi: - beheading him.

Sora:Whoa!When did you become so grim?

**knocking him backwards. Backward through the gaping hole in the wall WarGreymon had caused earlier. Yelping, Cerebrusmon fell to his doom.**

Izzy:- and then to his Quake, and his Diablo, and his Duke Nukem, and all his other ultra-gory first-person shooters.

**Dragomon formed a beam of energy. "Hurricane Beam!" the blast picked Tsunonrimon up and tossed her into the air, but she merely shook her head**

Tai:_*bbbbbblllbbbllbbbllbblllbbbbll*_

**and was back in the fight.**

** **

**"Black Magic!" The ball of energy met another one of Dragomon's Hurricane Beams.**

Kari:They just seemed to "click", so they went out to a movie the next Friday night and decided to take it from there.

**The beam was halted in midair, and the ball sent jolts of energy through it back into Dragomon, who cried in pain and collapsed weakly.**

Matt:As opposed to collapsing powerfully?

**MetalGarurumon, WarGreymon, Lillymon, Angemon,**

** **

Izzy:Chief...

Joe:McCloud...

**and Angewomon stood in front of Tsunonrimon and Goblinmon. "It's over." Angemon shouted in his reverberating voice. "No longer shall you reign over this section of the Digital World."**

Sora:_(Angemon)_ "You shall be exiled to lower New Jersey!"

**Tsunonrimon looked at him like he was crazy.**

Tai:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "How the heck do you see through that helmet-thing?"

**"Oh, please." She waved the comment away. "You cannot defeat me. I am the Dark Queen Tsunonrimon! Nothing shall ever defeat me ex..." she caught herself in time. **

** **

**"Except what?" MetalGarurumon growled. "So you DO have a weakness!"**

Mimi:Cherry cheesecake?

Matt:Hugh Grant movies?

Izzy:Azaleas?

**"Hardly! You are annoying me, so I will just have to destroy you now.**

Matt:Sometimes I wish I could just annihilate every person who annoyed me.

Sora:So Tai would've been vaporised, like, four thousand times over by this point in time.

Matt:Pretty much.

**Unholy Slash!" the crescent of black energy appeared in her hands, and she swept it on a horizontal arc, knocking the five that opposed her out of the sky. **

** **

**"No! Angemon!" shouted T.K., and he rushed to his fallen friend. Tsunonrimon saw this, and smirked evilly.**

** **

Sora:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "Ooohh, I've got such a *naughty* plan in my head!Naughty, naughty, *naughty*!"

**"T.K.!" Matt cried, and ran over to his brother, putting himself in between T.K. and Tsunonrimon. "If you want to get to T.K. you've got to destroy me first!"**

** **

**"Oh, with pleasure!" Tsunonrimon crossed her arms. "The destruction of the Digidestined shall begin with you! Rain of Blades!"**

** **

Joe:_(Matt)_ "D'oh!Maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

**She flung her hands out again, and a shower of steel accompanied them. Matt closed his eyes and waited for the blades to hit him.**

** **

Matt:Blade the vampire hunter?That *would* hurt.

Mimi:MMmmmmm...Wesley Snipes...

**"No!!!" There were many 'thwacks' in front of Matt, and someone grunted softly.**

Mimi:Aww, all those thwacks took the hits for Matt!That was so brave of them!

**Matt opened his eyes to see Jake standing there. There were what seemed to be hundreds of pieces of metal lodged in his body.**

** **

All:Ouch!

**The largest was a full-sized sword running through his chest. Blotches of scarlet started to slowly spread from around the glittering steel.**

Tai:That'll teach him to make cloudy eyes at my sister. 

**Chapter Three**

**Jake looked up at the horror-struck Digidestined, who were totally stunned by this. The boy fell to his knees, then to his side. There, he gazed at the people who had been his companions for the past week.**

****

**"I gave you a gift,"**

Matt:A paisley necktie?

Sora:It's the thought that counts.

**he whispered, almost too quiet to hear. "Use it.**

** **

Joe:_(Jake) _"Don't return it for store credit..."

**Make me proud. You guys were...**

Izzy:_(Jake)_ "Kind of goofy and annoying, really."

**my friends...thank...you..." then he breathed his last**.

All:_(silent for a beat)_

Tai: _(Jake)_ "Just kidding!Ha ha!I'm alive!"

Others: Yaaaaaahh!

**As Jake rolled over onto his back, the life gone, something small and glittering fell out of his pocket. It was a crystal, **

** **

Mimi:Well, a can of Crystal Light, actually.

**a quite beautiful one as well. His Digivice and Crest fell to the ground beside it.**

** **

**Tsunonrimon looked at the crystal beside the empty husk that had once been human, absolute terror on her face. "The Crystal of Power!"**

** **

Joe:Anyone else think that sounds like something from "She-Ra"?

**she shouted. "This cannot be!"**

** **

**From where he was lying on the ground, virtually motionless, Dragomon saw these events. As the full meaning of this hit him,**

Tai:_*bonk*_

TK:_(Dragomon)_ "Ow!"

**a tear started to trickle down his face. "No..." he whispered.**

** **

**The crystal, the Digivice, and the Crest all started to clatter on the ground.**

** **

**"No..." Dragomon was stunned. How could his partner be dead? This wasn't right. "Jake..."**

** **

**The three objects started to move more rapidly.**

TK:They were all hyped up on Mountain Dew.

**"No!" Dragomon started to climb to his feet, his mind not in control anymore, so great was his grief. "NOOOOO!!! JAKE!!!!!!!"**

Izzy:Looks like somebody bought exclamation points in bulk at Costco.

**The crystal leapt into the air, and stayed there floating. Suddenly, a bright red beam hit it. Everyone looked to see Tai's crest shooting the light.**

** **

Tai:Kapow! Kapow!

Joe:Hold on, son, you got a license to shoot that light?

Sora: Light season ain't for three more weeks.

**Kari looked down to see her own crest activate.**

** **

TK & Kari:Wonder Twin Powers, activate!

**Matt's crest started to glow.**

** **

**Joe, still kneeling, looked on in wonder as light spouted from his crest into the crystal.**

** **

**One by one,**

Tai: Ngeke ba lunge!

_(Another chunk of the fourth wall plummets to the ground.)_

Joe:_(warningly)_ Tai...

Tai:Oops.

**the Digidestined's crests started to activate and lend power to the crystal, which was beginning to shine with all the colors of the rainbow.**

** **

Mimi:_(singing)_ Can you paint with all the colours of the wind...

**Tsunonrimon looked at Goblinmon.**

Kari:_(Tsunonrimon)_ "This is your fault."

**"Goblinmon!" she commanded "Destroy that crystal, now!"**

** **

**"At once, your highness!" Goblinmon jumped into the air. "AXE SMASH!" He brought the battle-axe down, intending to slice the crystal in half,**

Joe:What the heck is that axe made of, anyway, adamantium?You can't cut through a gem with an ordinary steel blade.

**but he froze in midair, unable to move. The powers of the crests were strong enough to permit no evil presence to exist around them.**

Matt:Wow!Guys, just think of all the stuff our Crests have been protecting us from without our even knowing.Politicians...

Kari:Teletubbies...

Sora:David Gonterman...

**Goblinmon showed a look of incredible pain on his face before he vaporized into dust.**

** **

**Dragomon turned to Tsunonrimon, tears spilling from his eyes. "YOU MURDERER!!!" he bellowed, and even she was struck by the rage and sorrow in his voice. "YOU KILLED JAKE!!!!"**

** **

Tai:Omygod!They killed Jake!Those - 

Sora:AH-hem.

**The Digivice and Crest by Jake's side shot up into the air, coming in line with the crystal. Jake's Digivice activated, shooting a beam of light into the Crest of Nobility. The light carried onward, finally striking the crystal.**

** **

TK:_(crystal)_ "Ow!Hey!I'm tellin' Mom!"

**The symbol of Jake's crest shone for a long second and then two gigantic beams of rainbow light projected from the crystal-one into the air, and one into Jake's chest.**

** **

**Dragomon seemed to gather strength from the beam. "YOU WILL PAY!!" he screamed at Tsunonrimon.**

Izzy:_(Dragomon, still screaming)_ "CASH OR CREDIT?!"

**Suddenly he started to change. "Dragomon digivolve to..." crystal armor plating started to encase him from the feet up, melding around his tail,**

** **

TK:_(Dragomon)_ "I'm melding!MELLLLLLDIIIIIINNNGG!"

**which also shrunk somewhat. The dragon-like form changed into a much smaller, human-shaped one, except for his tail, wings, and long, elegant, serpentine neck. The crystal glittered as it completely covered his head, and he turned around, his eyes burning brightly. "CRYSTALDRAGOMON!!!!!"**

Tai:ShinyCrystalMegaSupremeBoffoUberDragomon!

Sora:"Boffo"?

**Izzy shielded his eyes from the glare of the crystal armor and looked at his analyzer program. "Huh?" he asked, confused. "CrystalDragomon doesn't have an entry...oh wait, here we go,"**

Izzy:Stupid internet connection was lagging.

**Izzy read from the screen. "The legendary Crystal of Power was said to have the ability to give any Digimon a power boost**

** **

Tai:It's way better than anything from GNC!

**-and the ancient prophecies said that it was the only thing which could defeat the future Queen of Darkness."**

** **

Joe:How conveeeeeeeeenient.

**CrystalDragomon sprang into the air, his wings whistling,**

All:_(begin whistling "Turkey in the Straw")_

**and came down at Tsunonrimon. He started to shine**

Matt:_(singing)_ Shine! Make 'em wonder what ya got...

**and he grabbed onto her. "Crystal Meld!" energy from her body seemed to flow into his own body, and he threw her into a wall.**

** **

**"The technique Crystal Meld is said to give the Digimon who uses it access to their opponent's powers." Izzy discovered with his computer.**

** **

Izzy:- that most "Lois and Clark" fanfics start looking pretty much the same after a while.

**Tsunonrimon climbed to her feet. "So, you've Digivolved to a new level. It doesn't matter! I'll still defeat you! Black Magic!" the ball of energy sped towards CrystalDragomon. He was tossed backwards, but managed to flip in midair so he landed on his feet. **

TK:So dragons always land on their feet?

Kari:They don't look nearly as cute when they're playing with balls of yarn as cats do, though.

**"Rain of Blades!" the sword shower hit Tsunonrimon directly, pinning her to the wall. CrystalDragomon seemed to glow with even more energy. **

** **

**"Crystal Imprisonment!" he shot a beam right at Tsunonrimon, who was transformed into a small little crystal, which lay on the floor.**

Mimi:Oh, how pretty.I think I'll have it made into a suncatcher.

Kari:Cats like to play with those, too.

**"Is she...gone?" asked Kari, unsure of herself.**

** **

**The crystal shook, and shattered, revealing Tsunonrimon once again.**

All:Yaaaahh!

Kari:What *is* it with all our arch-enemies revealing themselves?!

Izzy:They really need to seek some sort of therapy.

Joe:So should we, by this point.

**And she was mad. "You cannot defeat me! I am the Dark Queen Tsunonrimon! YOU SHALL DIE!"**

** **

Matt:Yeah, whatever.How many times have we heard *that*?

**she started to prepare for her Havoc attack. "Darkness shall now triumph!"**

** **

**A shout from behind Tsunonrimon caused everyone to look. "Not in our world, Tsunonrimon!"**

Joe:Y'know, this story could've taken a really sick turn and become a Star Trek crossover or somesuch.

Others:_(shudder)_

**She turned, and gasped. "No...I don't believe it!"**

Tai:_(Fabio)_ I cahn't believe it's not buttah!

**"Believe it!" Jake was standing, his injuries nearly healed, the Crystal of Power held out in front of him like a cross to ward off vampires.**

Sora:Whoa.Does Sarah Michelle Gellar know about this little trinket?

Izzy:There's a World of Darkness joke in here somewhere, I just know it...

**"The Crystal has powers you can never dream about, Tsunonrimon-and that you cannot stop. Your terrorizing of the people will end now. CRYSTAL BEAM!" The legendary Crystal of Power emanated bright waves of light, shooting a beam right at Tsunonrimon, who cried with pain as the goodness in the beam hit her.**

Kari:The Crystal of Power, filled with wheaty goodness.Look for it in your grocer's cereal aisle.

**Jake turned to look at his partner, CrystalDragomon. "Now!" he shouted.**

**CrystalDragomon raised his hand over his head.**

** **

TK:_(CrystalDragomon)_ "Teacher, may I use the bathroom?"

**"Crystal..." a ball of pure crystal energy started to take place. He brought his hand down and started to spin around. "Dragon..." With every spin, the ball grew more powerful, larger. When it was about the size of a beach ball, CrystalDragomon stopped spinning.**

** **

Tai:He tossed the ball into a crowd of concertgoers, who had a great time bouncing it around amongst themselves.

**He stood there, silent. Then he fell to one knee and tossed the ball. "FINALE!"**

** **

**The ball, sparkling with many colors,**

Matt:Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Digimon Attack.

**sped towards the incapacitated Tsunonrimon. It hit her, and started to spread out along her body. Every inch of her started to turn to crystal.**

Tai:Hey, isn't that what happened to Sally's father when he tried to leave the Void on that "Sonic the Hedgehog" cartoon?

Others:_(stare at Tai)_

Tai:_(muttering) _Nevermind.

**The multicolored light shone too brightly for anyone to look at. She screamed, and the energy stopped expanding. Time seemed to stop as the crystal glowed brightly.**

Kari:Well, of course!Time stops during any transformation sequence!It's one of the primary rules of anime!

**Then everything collapsed inwards in a gigantic explosion of power. **

Izzy:Uh-uh.If it collapses on itself, it's an *im*plosion.

**"Huh...where am I?" Sora weakly sat up. They were back in the jungle **

Tai:Which accounts for, what, half of the Digiworld?

Izzy:No, only thirty-seven percent.I counted.

**where they had confronted Tsunonrimon for T.K. and Kari. Yokomon was at her side. She looked around. There were Tai and Koromon, Kari and Nyasomon,**

TK:Who?

Kari:Nyaromon, I think.

**Matt and Tsunomon, Izzy and Motimon, T.K. with Koromon beside him,**

Sora:Huh?Two Koromon?

Matt:Well, remember when the Gazimon kidnapped Tokomon and hid him with all those other Koromon?Maybe we grabbed the wrong digimon.

**Joe and Bukamon, Mimi and Tanemon...**

** **

Izzy:Chief and McCloudmon...

**and there were Jake and Liquamon. Of Tsunonrimon, Sora saw nothing. As the rest of the group started to stir, Sora turned her head to the sky. The sun was coming out.**

Sora:Just so long as it's not that horrible baby-face sun from Teletubbies.

**THE END...(or is it?)**

Joe:Well, if *you* don't know...

**Epilogue**

Tai:So I guess it's *not* the end.

Sora: I love it when the authors answer their own questions.

**She had nothing. Her henchmen...gone. Her palace...gone. Her power...gone.**

** **

Izzy:Her crocheted lap robes...gone.

Sora:Her stash of Oreos...gone.

Matt:Her collection of Barbra Streisand records...gone.

**Everything was gone. She had no hope. Wait-there was something.**

Tai:Her cupboard full of pudding!

**She had herself. As long as she was alive, as long as she had her spirit, they could never defeat her. Not even the mythical Crystal of Power. She would survive.**

Sora:Now, see, this story has a really nice moral to it.Nothing can defeat you if you have faith in yourself.If you just call upon the goodness of your heart...

**Because her hate was still here.**

** **

Sora:Oh.Scratch that.

**She hated the Digidestined. And she could feed off of that hate.**

** **

Tai:But it just didn't taste as good as pudding.

Matt: Would you just shut up about the pudding?

**Her father would be revenged. She would have her revenge. As long as she was still here, she WOULD have her revenge...**

Tai:_(singing)_ Re-VENGE!Re-VENGE!

Izzy:Hey...is it over?

Kari:By golly, I think it is.

All:Huzza!

(_The children stand up and file out of the theatre as the Blinky Light Thingy (TM) starts to flash.)_

Matt:I knew we'd get through it alive.

Joe:Nope.No doubts at all.

Mimi:Won't Myotismon be disappointed?

Sora:Huh...we should probably at least pretend to be horrified, or something.

TK:He did try awful hard to scare us.

DISCLAIMER: Does anybody read these?I kinda hope so, because sometimes I come up with something witty and thought-provoking to put in down here.Today is not one of those occasions, but you never know.Anyhoo, I don't own Digimon; if I had any sort of control over the show, I would never have let Nimpy give Apoclymon that line about "hot and cold running water."Curse you, Nimpy!Curse you!!!

Eleventy-million bonus points to whoever can name the John Hughes flick to which I was referring in the host segment.If you've never seen this movie...man, you're missing out.

To 7 of 11: Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!There, that was an insult.(Not really.)The MiSTing, on the other hand, was never intended as such.7 is an awesome writer whom I greatly respect, and I appreciate his tolerance of my silliness.Here, have an ice cream cone!

_stinger_

**You are annoying me, so I will just have to destroy you now.**

_/stinger_


	6. The Tsunonrimon Saga - Outtakes, by 7 of...

Tai and the others fairly swaggered from the theatre, triumphant grins plastered across their faces

Tai and the others fairly swaggered from the theatre, triumphant grins plastered across their faces.They lined up expectantly in front of the screen, awaiting Myotismon's debriefing.

When the dark lord finally appeared, he was wearing a smug smile of his own, one which faltered somewhat as he met the altogether too cheery faces of the Digi-Destined.

"What are you pathetic children smirking at?" he growled."I don't remember giving you permission to be happy about anything!"

"We don't need your stinking permission!" Tai responded, crossing his arms across his chest."You thought you could destroy us with your lousy little experiment, huh?Well, take a look, maskface!Here we are, completely un-destroyed!"He struck a heroic and manly pose, the other children following suit (well, Sora, Mimi and Kari striking heroic and *womanly* poses).

The evil grin spread slowly across Myotismon's face like an oil spill."Is that so?" he asked, smoothly."Well, what makes you think your torture is over, Digi-Destined brats?"

The children retained their triumphant posing, although their cocky smirks now seemed frozen in place, a bit forced."...I'm sorry?" Tai stammered, sickly.

Myotismon mimicked Tai's earlier actions and folded his disproportionately long arms."That's right, my gullible little peons.Return to the theatre at once, for you have...OUTTAKES!Haha!Who has the last laugh now, worthless cretins?"

DemiDevimon popped up out of nowhere."Oooh!Can I, boss?Can I have it this time?"

Very slowly, the vampire turned to regard his lackey."Certainly, DemiDevimon.I'll let you have it as soon as you push The Button."

"Wow!Thanks, boss!"Cheerfully, the flappy-winged minion pounced on the button, activating the klaxons and flashing lights.

"Geez, way to go, Tai!We've got FANFIC SIIIIIIGN!" Joe yelled, and as he and the other children dashed into the theatre, they failed to notice Myotismon soundly thwapping DemiDevimon, cutting him off mid-cackle.

_(The kids enter and take their seats.)_

Matt: Man, of all the rotten luck.Just when we think it's over, there's outtakes.

Tai:_(giggling)_ Hey, d'you think these outtakes will be like the ones from "Thundercats"?

Sora:I somehow doubt it...

Digimon: The Tsunonrimon Saga-Part 3.14 

Matt:_(singing)_ Because pi...is the loneliest number...

**-Outtakes**

Tai:Somebody get this man some non-fat muffins!!

(Another large hunk of the fourth wall plummets to the floor.)

Joe:That's it!I hereby forbid any more comments that might cause further dismantlement of the fourth wall!

Tai:Oh, keep your stinky old fourth wall.I was getting tired of it anyway.

**(Author's note: Ummm...I don't know what to say! I had a few too many**

Matt: Well, that's obvious.

Sora: Be nice.

**of those chocolate popsicles, and I wrote this. It's a bunch of**

Tai:_(opens his mouth to speak)_

Sora:Tai!

Tai:Feh.Never mind.

**outtakes from the making of The Tsunonrimon Saga...I hope you enjoy it! Ehh...{^^}() I'm writing this in script format.)**

** **

Mimi:You know, just to try something new.Everyone needs a little variety now and again.

(The first scene. Jake is sitting in his cave. Flaps can gradually be heard growing louder.)

Zegimon: ::flies into the cave at full speed::

Matt:With Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock trailing behind him.

**AHHHH!!! ::crashes head on into one of the cave walls, and through it, revealing that it's just paper machie:: ::speaking from inside the wall:: Ouch..I'm okay..really...**

** **

**Director: CUT!!**

TK:Paper cut?Those hurt.

(Scene two. The Digidestined are climbing a mountain. Everything is very wet and soggy.)

Kari:Makes it sound like the mountain is made out of Corn Flakes.

**Joe: I swear, we're all going to catch pneumonia and die. ::he starts to slip backwards:: Huh? AAAHHH!! ::he slides down the mountain, out of sight::**

** **

**Sora: ::looking back:: Joe!**

Sora:_(glances behind her seat)_Nope, he's not back here.

**Gomamon: It's all right. Look, those sharp pointy rocks over there will stop him! (A thud sound is heard.) See?**

** **

**Joe: ::from off screen:: Ow...I am in serious pain...that hurt**

** **

**Director: Cut! MEDIC!**

Joe:Oh, sure, let's all laugh at my pain and suffering.That's always funny.

**(Next Scene. Jake is sitting down with his harmonica. Matt takes out his harmonica and offers to play a duet. Jake agrees)**

** **

**Jake: ::Grins evilly:: ::starts playing 'MMM Bop' by Hanson::**

** **

Sora:Is it actually possible to play that song on the harmonica?

Matt:Not really._(beat; looks suddenly defensive)_ Not that I've actually *tried*, mind you...

**All the other Digidestined except for Tai: AHHH!!! ::they jump at Jake and start beating him up::**

** **

**Tai: Hey! I like that song! ::everyone looks at him, then backs away very slowly:: Eh...hehe ::Sweat drops::**

Tai:Hey!Can you sue a fanfic for slander?

Joe:If that were possible, do you honestly think anyone would write fanfics anymore?

Tai:Good point.

**(Next Scene—Part Two. T.K. and Kari have landed to try and find Jake.)**

** **

**Kari: Jake! Jake where are you! Come out please! Jake we need you! **

** **

****Sora:Jake someone has stolen all our commas!Help us please please help us!

** **

**Jake: ::from behind her:: What do you..ACK! ::there is a sound of someone falling down:: okay no one saw that, right? Good!**

Mimi:_(Jake)_ "I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Izzy:It was only a matter of time until *somebody* used that line...

(Jake has just gone off to fight Cybermon. Cybermon, however, has kicked him so he is lying on the ground, about to shoot him with a Pulse Cannon.)

Izzy:Jake's about to shoot Cybermon with a Pulse Cannon?

Kari:These outtakes really are goofy.

Jake: ZEGIMON!!! ::nothing happens:: Zegimon? Ohhh Zegimon? Come out come out wherever you are! ::he gets up and goes to the site where he left Zegimon:: ::Zegimon's head is buried

Sora:...in a flowerpot, with a geranium?

Tai:Obscure reference off the port bow!

in a brown paper sack, and he is eating something.::

TK:Could it be someone's lunch?

HEY! That's my lunch! Give it back! 

TK:Wow, I got it right on the first try!

Others:_(applaud)_

**::Zegimon takes his head out of the sack and turns to look at Jake. He then grabs the sack in his mouth and starts running away. Jake follows him:: GIVE IT!**

** **

Director: ::runs his hand over his face::

** **

****Matt:I'm too sexy.

** **

**I don't get paid enough for this...**

** **

**(Tai is kneeling next to the unconscious Sora.)**

Sora:Noooo!Not this again!

Tai:This is going to haunt us the rest of our lives, isn't it?

Tai: You had me very worried for a second, Sora. I thought I had lost you. Please don't ever make me worry like that again. ::he bends over to kiss her::

Tai:_(sighs)_ Well, go ahead, guys.Lay it on thick.

Matt:What do you mean?

Sora:You're not going to taunt us mercilessly about the kissing?

Joe:Nah, it's been done.

Mimi:Yeah, that is *so* three segments ago.

**Jake: ::Still chasing Zegimon:: Give that back! ::he jumps and tackles Zegimon, and both of them crash onto Tai and Sora::**

** **

**Tai+Sora:**

TK & Kari:_(sing-songy) _K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Tai:Hey!I thought there wasn't gonna be any more taunting!

Kari:*They* promised; *we* didn't.

**Hey! **

** **

**Jake: ::grabs the lunch bag from Zegimon:: Finally! Now I can eat my lunch! ::he opens it and looks inside. His face turns a pale green:: **

** **

****Mimi:Ohhh!He turned into Palmon!

Matt:Or Mister Yuck.

Joe:_(shudders)_

** **

**On second thought, you can have it...::he gives it to Zegimon::**

** **

**Director: CUT!!!**

** **

****Tai:Haikeeba!

** **

**(Next Scene—Part Three. The Digidestined are trudging through a swamp.)**

** **

**Mimi: I hate this! All this muck is disgusting!**

** **

****Izzy:Tell me about it.I can't begin to tell you how many MUCKs I've been on that've gone completely to waste because of stupid newbies and lackadaisical wizzes.

** **

**Palmon: ::sneaks up behind her and pushes her facefirst into the mud:: HAHAHAHA!!**

** **

****Kari:When household plants go bad.

** **

**Mimi: ::gets up, totally covered in gunk:: All right, that's it! ::She picks up a glob of mud and hurls it at Palmon, but who dodges and it hits Kari in the face:: Oops! Sorry, Kari!**

** **

****Mimi:Oh, I made a little rhyme!Tee-hee.

** **

**Gatomon: Yeah, and you'll be a lot sorrier! ::She throws mud at Mimi but it hits Matt in the head::**

Matt:Argh, it's Woodstock '97 all over again.

Sora:Let's see if they set something on fire.

**Matt: AHHHH!!! MY HAIR!!! My industrial strength hair-gel is neutralized by dirt! Nooo! ::Matt's hair starts to droop down until it's totally flat::**

** **

****Mimi: _(Matt)_ I'm melting!Melllltiiiiinnggg!

****Joe:He'll never win the Flock of Seagulls look-alike competition now!

** **

**NO!! That's it, you flea-bitten menace to society! **

** **

****Tai:_(singing, sorta)_ Get back, you flea in-fest-ed mon-grel!

** **

**::he leaps at her and they start fighting::**

** **

****Izzy:Ev'rybody was kung-fu fight-ing...

** **

**Sora: ::grabs a big bunch of mud and drops it on both of them:: stop fighting! ::they get up and start throwing mud at Sora:: AHH!!**

** **

**Director: ::gets hit in the face by a glob of muck:: ::sighs:: why do I even bother?**

** **

****All:Wah-wah-wah-wah-waaaahh!

** **

**(Shortly after—the Digidestined are confronted by Tsunonrimon's henchmen)**

** **

**Leprechaunmon: ::leaps in and kicks Garurumon in the nose::**

** **

**T.K.: OHHH LOOK! It's that guy from the TV commercials! ::starts singing:: Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons! Pots of Gold and Rainbows, and the Red Balloons! ::repeats this over and over::**

** **

****Matt:_(nudging TK)_ Better make sure you're not stuck, squirt.

** **

**Leprechaunmon: ::breaks down into tears:: ::speaks with a sophisticated British accent:: Why must I always be associated with that cartoon! What did I do to deserve this! I'm a Shakespearean performer, for God's sakes! Why, why, why???**

Tai:Why ask why?

**Matt: ::his hair propped up but still kinda hanging down:: Now T.K., look what you did! You made Lucky the Leprechaun cry! **

** **

**::Leprechaunmon cries louder::**

** **

**Izzy: Will you shut up already? ::he whacks Leprechaunmon over the head with his laptop:: hey, that was fun! ::Izzy starts randomly hitting people with his laptop until security comes and gives him a sedative::**

Izzy:Oh, not *again*.

**(Next Scene—Tsunonrimon has T.K. and Kari captured)**

** **

**Kari: Well, your father was pathetically weak!**

Matt:_(British)_ And he smelt of elderberries!

**Tsunonrimon: ::brings her hand up:: ::backhands Kari across the face, but accidentally keeps on going and smashes her hand into the camera, which goes fuzzy. When it clears, all three of them are looking down at the camera:: Sorry! Um...he did it! ::points to T.K.::**

** **

**T.K.: What?! ::he leaps at Tsunonrimon and they start fighting::**

Tai:This is starting to look like, I dunno, "Fight Club".

**(Next scene—Part Four. Izzy, Sora, and Joe are fighting Invisomon.)**

** **

**Izzy: We can't see Invisomon. So...::he goes to his computer but it won't work properly since he was hitting people over the head with it:: Darn it! It won't work! I need to have this repaired!**

** **

****Matt:Just be sure you delete all the porn pictures from your hard drive before the computer repairman comes across 'em and reports you.

Sora: Been watching VH1 again, have we? 

** **

**Joe: So...um...what do we do?**

** **

**Sora: ::points to Mimi's gigantic makeup kit, everyone smiles::**

All:Mary Kay party!

**::after a few minutes, they have assembled an arsenal of cosmetics::**

** **

**Izzy: Wow...I didn't even know these many cosmetics existed in the world! ::they all throw the makeup at Invisomon::**

** **

**Sora: ::bursts into laughter:: I guess it works!**

** **

**Joe: I dunno...with all the makeup he kinda looks like a streetwalker...**

Sora:Or Tammy Fae Bakker.

Tai:Uh-huh, uh-huh, dude looks like a lady!

**(Next Scene—Part Five. Tsunonrimon has just used her Rain of Blades attack to Matt.)**

** **

**Jake: NO! ::everyone turns to see Jake standing with many pieces of metal running through his body. He also has a big, goofy grin on his face and one of those fake arrow-through-the-head things::**

** **

****TK:What was *really* funny was that he was wearing it on his *butt*!Ah ha ha ha ha!

** **

**Everyone: ::Groans::**

** **

****Joe:My sentiments exactly.

TK:_(sulky)_I thought it was funny.

Matt:_(soothingly)_ Of course it was, TK.It was brilliant.

** **

**Director: CUT! ::bashes his megaphone over his knee:: OWW!!**

** **

**(Next Scene—Dragomon has digivolved to CrystalDragomon)**

** **

**CrystalDragomon: MURDERER!...::he starts hopping around frantically:: Oooh! Oooh! Itch! Someone, please, help! It itches! It itches!!!**

Sora:I call foul on any and all Preparation-H jokes.

Tai:_(disappointed) _Awwwwww!

**(Take Two)**

** **

**CrystalDragomon: MURDERER! ::He draws a sword and leaps at Tsunonrimon:: En Guarde! **

** **

**Tsunonrimon: ::Disappears for a second and returns, dressed like Zorro::**

Mimi:Oooooohh, Antonio Banderas!

Aha! ::They start to duel::

Matt and TK:_(begin imitating "Dueling Banjos" as best they can)_

**::She inscribes a large letter 'T' in his chest:: Take that!**

** **

**Director: ::Throws up hands:: That's it! I quit! No more!**

** **

Joe:_(applauding)_ Good for you!Will you be going with the patch, or fruit-flavoured nicotine gum?

**T.K.: ::still singing the 'Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes...' thing:: **

**Everyone else: SHUT UP, T.K.!**

** **

**THE END...**

**(Author's note: Eh...please don't kill me!)**

Izzy: _(dully)_ No, please.Take me instead.

_(The Blinky Light Thingie ™ flashes for the final time.)_

Mimi:Hey, I think it's all over!

Kari:Really?

Matt:I dunno, maybe Myotismon just wants us to think that.He might have more in store for us.

(The kids stand up and file out of the theatre, heading for the main room.)

Joe:Well, always hope for the best, I say.

Tai:Oh, you do not!

Myotismon was waiting patiently when the children emerged from the theatre, somewhat more cautiously than they had last time.

"Congratulations," he snarled."You seem to have survived your first full round of torture relatively unscathed, and while I must admit that I'm disappointed, I take comfort in the fact that this fanfic will not be your last."

DemiDevimon fluttered before the screen, sporting a large band-aid between his eyes."Do you have any idea how many stories people have written about you guys?!It's insane!Just like *you'll* be when the boss gets done with ya!Bah ha ha ha ha!"

"Quit stepping on my lines, rodent!" Myotismon roared, backhanding his crony out of the way."Ahem...as I was saying, I have an infinite number of stories with which to torment you, and an infinite amount of time in which to do so."He smirked evilly, as was his wont."So enjoy your sanity while you still can, Digi-Destined.I can assure you that it shan't last long."With another bout of obligatory maniacal laughter, Myotismon cut off the transmission, leaving the children to their own devices once again.

Tai turned to his companions, grinning confidently."Well, guys, you heard him.Sounds like this story's over, and we're still alive!"

"But he also implied that he would keep sending us fanfics until we went insane," Joe pointed out pessimistically.

"So what?" Tai said, clenching his fists, looking oh-so-determined."We're the Digi-Destined!As long as we stick together, we can defeat anything!We've faced singing monkeys and killer snowmen and things with tentacles and Myotismon's talking crotch!We can't let some stinking little fanfics get us down!"

"On the other hand, we're still trapped in Myotismon's castle and we don't really know where our digimon are," Sora told him.

Tai dropped his determined stance somewhat."Well, yeah, that's bad.But we've still got our sanity!We've still got our digivices and crests!We've still got the digimon looking for a way out of here!"

"And most importantly, we've still got the liquor in Joe's bag!" Matt threw in.

"Darn right!" Tai continued without missing a beat."And with the power of teamwork and alcohol, we will prevail!"

"HUZZA!" the Digi-Destined chorused, punching their fists into the air.

And so fortified, the eight children settled in to await word from their diligently searching companions, confident that nothing short of a multi-chapter self-insertion lemon would be able to break their wills.

DISCLAIMER:Wasn't hardly worth the wait, was it, kids?Sorry.^^*As ever, Digimon does not belong to me, for I am naught but a pathetic fangirl.Furthermore, NO INSULT is intended to 7 of 11, the original author of "The Tsunonrimon Saga".

Just so you know, I edited chapter two of this MiSTing and removed the bit involving UMJ.It was mean-spirited and vengeful, and that isn't proper motivation for a MiSTing.I was then going to send UMJ a lovely fruit basket and a collection of Anne Geddes lithographs by way of apology, but I realized that I had no idea where the fellow lived, and when one is trying to make amends with another human being, it's best to avoid sending the other person fruity pictures of babies dressed up like ladybugs and cabbages, anyway.

Consider this MiSTing finished, boys and girls!Yay!A winner is me!

_stinger_

**::starts playing 'MMM Bop' by Hanson::**

_/stinger_


End file.
